Not to label my twins so others can tell them apart?

(179 Posts)
twinsufficient Thu 04-Oct-12 16:31:11

Dts' nursery teacher has asked me to label them with different coloured stickers as she can't tell them apart. Imho doing this will mean that the teachers will stop trying to tell who is who and rely on the stickers. They are identical but there are differences in face and eye shape etc so not impossible. Should I do as the teacher asks or not?

SuperB0F Thu 04-Oct-12 16:32:02

I would help the teacher, yes. Why wouldn't you?

Yabu. I'm an auntie to identical twins, I have obviously known them their whole lives so I can tell them apart but for anyone new it took time to notice the subtle differences in their looks.

TheMightyMojoceratops Thu 04-Oct-12 16:34:28

Why stickers? Why not different coloured hairbands? Or just don't dress them identically?

MadgeHarvey Thu 04-Oct-12 16:34:32

What's your thinking behind deliberately making the teacher's life just that little bit more difficult?

HecateHarshPants Thu 04-Oct-12 16:35:30

I would. She's got, what? 30 children and is busy teaching. Your twins look very different to you because it's you and them, day in day out, since they were born. If you saw them for a few hours a day, with 30 other children and you were busy trying to teach a class, I am sure it would be harder grin. I think the children would probably feel better to not get mixed up and if a sticker, or different hairstyles or something, helps this happen, then - and it's just my opinion and I am not the parent of twins, so feel free to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about grin - it's not a bad thing.

WorraLiberty Thu 04-Oct-12 16:35:42

Yes I would help her, why not?

Nursery children aren't the most verbal as a rule so that must make it harder for her to know which one she's talking to while she's getting to know them.

Paiviaso Thu 04-Oct-12 16:36:45

Perhaps it would help her learn the difference more quickly, as she would be able to attribute different physical and personality traits to the right twin off the bat. Then you can stop using the stickers.

catwomanlikesmeatballs Thu 04-Oct-12 16:36:49

yabu, the teacher has better things to do then spend all day every day studying your kids facial features for slight, barely noticeable differences. Other peoples kids just aren't that interesting.

Why wouldn't you?

Gosh I just noticed you put their differences as eye and face shape.. Hard to notice across a classroom no?

picnicbasketcase Thu 04-Oct-12 16:37:53

I went to primary school with identical twins, one always wore pink hair clips / bands and the other wore red. Might be a bit nicer than actually labelling them.

Frontpaw Thu 04-Oct-12 16:37:54

I would find it hard to tell identical twins apart! If it helps - I would have thought it would be nice for them not to get called the wrong name all the time!

HecateHarshPants Thu 04-Oct-12 16:38:21

That's a very very good point ,paiviaso. X is the one who... Y always...

Yabu.

Identical twins seem to run in DHs massive family. I see quite a few sets of them regularly and on occasion I can't tell them apart, so I don't think its unreasonable to for her to ask this especially when she is teaching lots of other children.

Plus they can then have lots of fun by switching labels.

Do you dress them the same, maybe this contributes?

ShushBaby Thu 04-Oct-12 16:38:36

YABU. It's nice that she has made the effort to want to tell them apart and to suggest a solution to you.

UsingAPsuedonym Thu 04-Oct-12 16:39:35

Why on earth wouldn't you? A friend of mine used to dress hers the same but with one in blue versions of things and the other red to help.

kakapo Thu 04-Oct-12 16:39:37

Personally I wouldn't be thrilled with the sticker idea, it sets them apart from the other kids.

But there are good compromises suggested by other people here - hairbands, different clothes/uniform variations etc.

sookiesookie Thu 04-Oct-12 16:39:42

It will also help their class mates.

So you want to deliberately make the teacher's life more difficult, your DDs' life more difficult, and the lives of all the other staff members they come into contact iwth more difficult?! shock

Staff at the nursery will be able to tell them apart more quickly and learn their distinguishing features if you make it very easy at the begining.

Do you dress them the same? Could you always do one of their hair in a particular style different to the other one's?

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay Thu 04-Oct-12 16:40:10

I would find it a bit weird to sticker label them, but would certainly play ball with hairclips etc.

My mum often asks parents of identical twins to do this. After a while she can do without, but having it to start with helps her to focus on them as individuals IYSWIM. She isn't constantly thinking 'which one are you' and conflating personality traits, etc.

effingwotsits Thu 04-Oct-12 16:40:22

Yabu. Would you rather she have to ask them which one they are every time she speaks to them?

BlueberryHill Thu 04-Oct-12 16:43:00

Its not about making the teachers life difficult, its about the twins being treated as individuals and lumped together. If they can tell the other children apart, they should make the effort to be able to tell twins apart.

I know that people will say that having stickers means that people will be able to tell them apart, but people are actually quite lazy about bothering to try to tell them about or just lump together as 'the twins' or compare them to eachother. I'm a mother of twins (boy / girl) , my brother has twins, both boys who, athough they looked completely different (different coloured hair, build etc) people still couldn't tell them apart. I would be concerned that the stickers would mean that people don't even try.

Maybe suggest that you will use different coloured stickers for x period of time to help her, but then you won't as they are individuals. Dress them differently and introduce them at the start of the day so that she knows who is who and what they are wearing also.

BonaDea Thu 04-Oct-12 16:43:55

YANBU - although it SEEMS hard at first to tell twins apart, it takes a matter of days if someone really tries. My best friends are twins and when I first met them I had to remember what they were wearing that day to tell them apart. Inside a few days, I wondered how on earth I could have failed to notice the obvious differences.

Unless you children are complete idiots, I would imagine sticker swapping would become a favourite game within minutes... wink

Thumbwitch Thu 04-Oct-12 16:44:21

I can understand the reluctance to label them, but you could at least make sure that they look different, either in clothes (and keep it consistent) or in hair or something. It's better for them as well if the teacher can tell them apart!

I used to go to school with identical twins but they were relatively easy to tell apart as one was a fair bit smaller than the other, due to health reasons. However, a pair of female identical twins in the year above me - well, none of us could tell them apart! They did have defining clothes that they wore though, to make people's lives easier.

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