The teacher keeps refusing to let my Yr1 DS go to the toilet

(87 Posts)
BupcakesAndCunting Thu 04-Oct-12 15:50:18

At the end of school.

We have a ten minute walk home and he is always bursting for the loo when he comes out, so was one of his classmates today. He was near wetting himself by the time we got home.

DS says that the teacher won't let them go apart from at break times. AIBU to think that this is harsh, especially on 5 year olds who are constantly drinking from water bottles all day. I was thinking of having a word about it.

cocolepew Fri 05-Oct-12 13:05:08

I hate this. Dd is in p7 and told me that the HT had told them they wouldn't be allowed to go to the toilet except at break and lunch. The reason being someone had flooding the girls toilet (they knew who it was because the teacher let them out). DD was scared to drink from her water bottle, and then the HT said they weren't allowed those either.
I was due to see her teacher at parents night and brought it up. He said that he would be telling his class they can go at anytime, he was able to figure out who was trying it on. He also said there was no way he would try to stop 11 year old girls from using the toilet for obvious reasons

Alligatorpie Fri 05-Oct-12 13:31:00

I send my kindergarten class to the toilet three times per day, they are also encouraged to go at break time. But, inevitably within five minutes of returning to the classroom, someone asks to go. it drives me mad.

I can usually tell an urgent need from someone who wants a break. But in my first year of teaching I did have a parent ask me to remind her dd to go before school was dismissed as her dd wet herself on the bus. I was horrified, and still feel for the girl. Maybe the teacher is new and wouldnt mind a reminder?

CailinDana Fri 05-Oct-12 13:40:13

As a former primary teacher I have no respect for a teacher or school that has this policy and I would consider moving my son from a school that insisted on it. It is totally and utterly unnecessary and if the school are in a situation where they can't even let their children go to the toilet for fear of bad behaviour then in my eyes it's just not good enough for my child. It is a cruel and embarrassing policy for the children. I did supply teaching in a few schools with this policy and I always just ignored it. I just cannot agree with it at all.

CailinDana Fri 05-Oct-12 13:42:44

Just add, I always I had a one in/one out policy too - and I never encountered messing, even in difficult schools.

libelulle Fri 05-Oct-12 13:45:12

I find it extraordinary and disgusting that there are schools with this policy in R/yr1. My DD is still at the stage of needing to go NOW when she needs to go, no matter how often I remind her to not leave it until the last minute, and despite having been fine at home for the past year has had a couple of accidents at school. They are SO small still - some reception kids will have only turned 4 just over a month ago!!!

CailinDana Fri 05-Oct-12 13:48:53

FWIW I wouldn't ever deny an older child access to the toilet either. I would remind older children to go at breaks/lunch and I wouldn't let them go for the first ten minutes of lesson (when the main teaching is done) but after that I would definitely let them go. What if a girl had just started her period? How awful for her if she could feel a leak happening and wasn't allowed to leave to deal with it.

Yanbu.
My dd has a bladder medical problem and she wet herself every night on way home for this reason and twice in class in year 2 despite them knowing that she had problems.

Current school is very good but I am dreading secondary.

We had this...i went in and it was sorted. They then got a new TA and my 8yo daughter wet herself three weeks in a row after swimming after being told she was not allowed to go until they were back at school. She was mortified...and i was seriously pissed off...speak to them, please

cocolepew Fri 05-Oct-12 14:01:03

Whistling, my oldest DD suffers from anxiety and in first and second year at secondary school she was given a toilet pass. It might be something to keep in mind. You had to ask to he given one. It means if the child needs the toilet, or in DDs case to just leave the room, they just showed it to the teacher and went out.

TheFallenMadonna Fri 05-Oct-12 20:28:25

I did make it clear that I was talking about secondary age children.

I was really responding to the point that adults can go to the loo when they feel the urge. I cannot. I can't ask a colleague to mind my class, because they are with their own...

TheFallenMadonna Fri 05-Oct-12 20:29:23

And yes, we have medical cards for students who need to be able to go to the loo on demand.

NowThenNowThen Fri 05-Oct-12 20:36:36

The one in one out policy is a good one Cailin.
I think ds won't go to the toilet at school because another boy tends to follow him in, and ds is very self conscious. He just won't go with some one there.
Ds also told me that this boy sometimes the toilet door and won't let him out, (thinking it's funny)which is scary.
I have told the teacher, but I don't know if they really took it on board.
Some children are a bit uptight, like ds, and need privacy!

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