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AIBU to want dd to take the morning off school?(97 Posts)
DD has an appointment at the hospital tomorrow morning. She has regular appointments at the hospital for her eyesight (approx once every 6 weeks).
I was going to take DD out of school for the morning, since her appointment is at 11.15 and along with picking DD up from school, I have to travel to the hospital too so I will need to make sure we have enough time to travel there.
The school want me to take DD into school in the morning and pick her up at 11am!
Is it so bad for DD to have the morning off?
DD is 4 btw and has just started reception.
I get the strong impression that the school will not be happy at all if I don't take DD in for the morning.
For future reference, don't involve the receptionist at all. It is none of her business.
Write a letter to the HT, cc the class teacher, saying "DD will not be in school on the morning of ..........because she has a hospital appointment".
Re collecting from school, do the same, saying "DD will be collected by ........ on whatever day it is".
If the HT has a query, he or she will ring you.
Sorry for last post mistakes. Am on my phone.
Thank you everyone. ≪takes a bow ≫
I originally spoke to the class teacher to say DD wouldn't be in school that morning, as suggested, but class teacher told me absences have to be dealt with by school office.
I Wrote a letter to the school last week listing the appointments that ds1 and 2 have this term (1 for ds1, several for ds2). I will then tell the class teacher what time I will pick up or let the office know if they will not be in/back before or after an appointment. I did also show them the appointment letters.
Also communicate with her teacher rather than the receptionist.
Yes, just tell the school what you are doing be it taking your DD in late or getting her out of school early.
My DS1 has regular orthodontist appointments and I never ask his school permission to take him out. I inform them that he has an appointment and he'll either be in school late, or I need him to leave school early. In your shoes I would have kept DD off all morning, to hell with school and their quota's, your daughters health is more important than 100% attendance rates.
Yes. Just tell them what's happening. Don't disclose apt time, travel arrangements - just when she will be arriving at school. My notes to school are generally thus:
MaenadDD has an appointment with her consultant paediatrician on the morning if 4th October, she will not be present for registration. She will be arriving in school for 1pm afternoon registration. She will not require a school lunch on this day.
Nothing else is any business of the receptionist!!
you only just got there on time, and I love your style
I'm just imagining getting to our hospital that is 8 miles away.
I would normally drive, but for an 11:15 appt, I would leave my house no later than 10:15.
you need to pick her up at 10 - don't take any chances if you are going by two busses!
DD had her appointment yesterday. I dropped her off at the classroom as usual, then walked straight round to the office and explained I was there to wait for DD.
Receptionist joked and said 'Don't you have a home to go to?'
I said 'Yes, but I prefer to wait here, since it's not worth walking home only to turn around and come straight back again.'
I duly sat and waited, and at 9.30, receptionist then went to collect DD, so we didn't leave the school until 9.45.
We managed to get to the appointment on time, but only just and afterwards, I took DD for some lunch, before dropping her back at school for the afternoon.
So...for next time, the hospital are going to post my appointment.
Next time, do I just tell the school what I am doing, rather than wait for them to tell me what they want me to do wrt picking DD up/times etc?
Ha, I must have tempted fate. DS's appointment for Monday was cancelled yesterday (2 days after receiving the confirmation letter) and put back a month.
Was the appointment today? Did you do that? I'd love to have seen you sit there nonchalantly
Hope the appointment goes ok for you. I wish you luck trying to arrange appointment times to fit in with school. My DS has monthly visits to the hospital dentist, and has done for the last 3 years and it is almost impossible to get them at a sensible time for school - earlyish, lunchtime or late afternoon. The receptionists look at me as if I'm mad when I ask for them, and the school spend all their time complaining about how long it all takes!
We are currently on appointments before 9.30am which is amazing, but no doubt that will change soon and we'll be back on mid morning ones. The hospital's other speciality is to confirm in writing, then 24 hours before cancel - that has happened so many times it's almost expected now.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I am going to do exactly what you have suggested, minus the flask because I don't have one.
Thank you to everyone for all of your advice. It has been very helpful. I will try to arrange future appointments for earlier/later.
<<Feels like a naughty school girl>>
Take your DD to school. Walk round to reception. Settle down with a good book.
At 9:30am walk up to the desk and say "I'm here to collect my DD".
If you have a flask of coffee, all to the good.
It's a pita trying to have them in when you have to travel by public transport to hospital. Dd was attending hospital appointments once a week for a long time and her appointments for clinic were usually around 1.30, she always wanted to be in school for the morning which was fine for 1.30 as I could pick her up at the beginning of lunch and she'd have a packed lunch on the train. If the appointment had been at 11.30 she wouldn't have been in school during the morning and she wouldn't have been back by the afternoon either. The school would have had to lump it. Dd's medical appointments come first.
If I were you I'd ring early tomorrow morning and hope you get an answer phone. Explaining that your travel plans have changed and your dd will not be in school until after her medical appointment.
You are perfectly correct in your reasoning. I would copy and paste it in a letter to the school along with something that expresses how stressed you have been made to feel by the way you have been dealt with by the school.
It seems like a power hungry receptionist with no thought of other people's feelings going way beyond the responsibilities of her actual job.
Just wanted to add - the receptionist is not the one with authority to say yes or no. That comes from the head teacher. Phone in the morning and inform.
You haven't left it too late. Call in the morning first thing, say she won't be in in the morning because you think it will confuse her, and you don't want her think you may be coming to pick her up on other school days, and say she will be in at lunchtime. Simple.
Ridiculous. They are worried about their attendance marks, because they get marked for it on ofsted, rather than thinking about yours and your families needs. She doesn't legally have to be in school 'til she is 5. Something I took advantage of when my daughter was 4. I'd occasionally keep her off if she was 'overtired' and we'd have a quiet day out at the zoo instead of going during school holidays when it was manic. I wouldn't dream of taking her in for 2 hours then rushing to the hospital for the appointment. I stopped letting my daughter have days off once she was in year 1, as I knew it would start to effect her in school. but at 4, they are still babies, and 2 hours is neither here nor there.
Well, I have probably left it too late to change it from picking DD up at 9.45 tomorrow, although another reason I would have preferred DD to take the morning off is because she has only been at school a few weeks, and is still settling in.
My gut instinct is that if I pick her up at 9.45am, she is going to become confused/upset and think of school as an option IYSWIM, and then is not going to want to go back to school in the afternoon.
I thought if I took her back at the end of lunchtime, it would be easier for DD to go back into class with the other DC.
She has been at school for such a short time and gets cold feet if we arrive in the playground after the other children have already lined up to go in (which has happened twice now ), or if the TA is not there, it can be much more difficult to get DD into the classroom and takes 3 times as long. (TA helps out in another class too so isn't always in DD's class.)
As soon as anything is different from how DD expected it to be, DD withdraws, and yet she is one of the most confident DC there according to the teachers, but I appreciate she has only been going to school for a few weeks and is only just turned 4. (One of youngest in her class.)
That was another reason why I wanted it to be clean cut...hospital in morning, then school at lunch time.
But I have left it too late now, so it will be lots of toing and froing, and hopefully, DD wont get upset.
Of course you shouldgo straight to hospital this time.
For future appts ask for first one of the morning or the very last one so it then makes more sense to go to school first or to just arrive late.
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