To think my 4 year old wetting her pants is not abnormal/unusual?

(38 Posts)

DD started school a few weeks ago and has wet her pants a few times a week since then. Only a few full, soaking, total bottom half needing changing incidents and only 1 during school hours but more than just stray drops the other times.

I am sure it's just the transition as it's happened at other exciting times too. She also seems to be a child who forgets about needing the toilet if busy/absorbed in something and she often has very urgent wees or not quite making it to the loo when all is normal. We just try to remind her to go if she hasn't been for a while.

DH said this evening that it's not normal to be having accidents like this but I think it is (and she's settling down now with rewards and praise for fully dry days)

AIBU?

Pretty sure I wet myself at school, when I was 4 or 5. I was also the kind of child that forgot to go, I get so absorbed in what I'm doing. I still do that now! (not wet myself, just get absorbed and then finding that I'm suddenly desperate!)

tanyatais Thu 06-Dec-12 22:45:37

Both times as well as the two occasions last month were the only ones she has had in 2 years. In all of the incidents she was using the toilet herself ,getting there nearly on time but just could't manage the skirt and thighs quick enough and they got a bit wetsad As a psychologist I always try to look at the bigger picture but it all points out to simple neglect of the needs of a 4 year old child / some inner conflict in her contributing to the stress. I am reading too much into it?

EugenesAxeChoppedDownANiceTree Thu 06-Dec-12 22:51:20

No I don't think it's too unusual; my MIL said the other day that my DN still had the odd accident after her 5th birthday. She also got very absorbed in things & didn't want to bother going.

I think I've read on MN that medics don't refer incontinence problems until after about age 7?

whois Thu 06-Dec-12 22:52:34

As a psychologist I always try to look at the bigger picture but it all points out to simple neglect of the needs of a 4 year old child / some inner conflict in her contributing to the stress. I am reading too much into it?

Yeah, think you are!

Bit off they put her in someone else's clothes f she had her own tho

Seabird72 Thu 06-Dec-12 22:54:25

It's awkward at school because they have to put their hand up and ask permission don't they? It's so easy for them to get absorbed in what they're doing and then suddenly realise they need to go and can't wait for permission so they have an accident if they're made to wait. I don't think it's abnormal for a 4 yo really. My dd3 only had 2 accidents from the age of 2 until about 8 and then suddenly she started having regular accidents for a little while and it was just because she was playing and so absorbed in her games that by the time she finally made a dash to the loo she was too late. If they can get like that at 8 then 4 is nothing to worry about:-)

tanyatais Thu 06-Dec-12 22:57:54

Great,thanks for the input-it helps to put my mind at ease smile

tanyatais Thu 06-Dec-12 23:02:36

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=1932765&page=3
Another discussion on the topic.

manicinsomniac Thu 06-Dec-12 23:16:15

A 10 year old wet herself badly in my dance rehearsal the other week. She had her hand up but I finished what I was saying before I let her speak. By the time she had asked, I'd said yes and she had jumped up it was far too late. She was devestated and I felt terrible. Though why she didn't just run for it when it was clear I was going to carry on talking I don't know!

So I guess it can happen at any age.

Rudolphstolemycarrots Fri 07-Dec-12 00:30:35

It is normal. I know lots of 4/5 year olds.

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Fri 07-Dec-12 00:34:43

My 4yo has had a couple of incidents since starting Reception in September. School said its normal.

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 07-Dec-12 00:45:34

Normal.

I once wet myself I was about 7 because I was to nervous to put my hand up and ask.

I also wet myself last week but that was more a chest infection and cough related incident that I would prefer to forget aboutgrin

steppemum Fri 07-Dec-12 00:57:23

seabird, at my dds school (reception) they have 4 red bands hanging on the doorhandle. If they want to go to the loo, they take a band put it on and go. If there are no bands they have to wait (but apparently that is pretty unusual) They put the band back when they return to the class. No waiting, no hands up etc. But also no-one noticing they are wriggly whenthey are absorbed insomething and saying 'go and do a wee'

Cairncake Tue 11-Dec-12 16:27:01

Thank you for this thread, found it in a stressed moment as my DS is wetting at school, he is 5 and in Primary 1. He does not ask as he says 'it is bad to interrupt the teacher'. He is trying so hard to be good, he pees himself instead. He does not wet at home. Teacher says he can just go if he needs to but he still wants to ask. There is so much for them to think about when they start and he is shy. That said, running out of ideas to solve the problem.

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