To think my 4 year old wetting her pants is not abnormal/unusual?

(38 Posts)

DD started school a few weeks ago and has wet her pants a few times a week since then. Only a few full, soaking, total bottom half needing changing incidents and only 1 during school hours but more than just stray drops the other times.

I am sure it's just the transition as it's happened at other exciting times too. She also seems to be a child who forgets about needing the toilet if busy/absorbed in something and she often has very urgent wees or not quite making it to the loo when all is normal. We just try to remind her to go if she hasn't been for a while.

DH said this evening that it's not normal to be having accidents like this but I think it is (and she's settling down now with rewards and praise for fully dry days)

AIBU?

wishiwasonholiday Wed 26-Sep-12 03:44:42

I was at school toddler group the other day and there were at least 2 reception children who had wet themselves which is not normal for them, I wouldn't be concerned unless it carries in for more than a few weeks and agree with you, yanbu.

wonkylegs Wed 26-Sep-12 03:47:51

We've had a couple of accidents since we've started school/ afterschool club after being completely dry for absolutely ages. (years) I've chalked it down to the change of scene/people/ new uniform buttons etc. We've chatted about each incident as he gets quite distressed about them but I think that's fine as it shows that he doesn't find it normal & is bothered enough to try not to do it again. If he's still having problems in a few months time then I'll start to be concerned.
Personally think your DH is overreacting at this point, give it a bit more time.

barnet Wed 26-Sep-12 04:28:20

Normal!

madwomanintheattic Wed 26-Sep-12 04:31:51

Two out of three of my kids wet at school. <shrugs>

BreeVanDerTramp Wed 26-Sep-12 04:36:42

DS has been dry day and night since age 2, since staring in P1 he wet the bed most nights for the first few weeks. I just cleaned up and reassured him and it has now stopped.

BookieMonster Wed 26-Sep-12 04:39:26

YANBU. All my kids had the odd accident in reception. In fact, as I recall the teachers had a box of spare pants and bottoms for just this sort of thing so it's obviously common.

ripsishere Wed 26-Sep-12 05:08:00

Not unusual at all. My DD used to pee when she was absorbed in something. She has an abnormally large bladder capacity I think. She still leaves it hours between toilet visits and she is 11.

TroublesomeEx Wed 26-Sep-12 08:02:43

As a reception teacher I can assure you and your husband that it is completely normal for a child to wet themselves at this age at school.

There are so many things to remember, so many exciting things you don't want to miss, so many games that you can't quite drag yourself away from, so many grown ups you haven't quite got to know yet...

There's so much for them to concentrate on/think about/ remember that it's inevitable.

Having said that, it's not compulsory. I had one reception class and we seemed to be forever getting the children changed and mopped up and another where I don't think I had any wee accidents at all!

demisemiquaver Wed 26-Sep-12 09:32:59

TOTALLY YANBU!! make sure she's getting enough to drink [outwith school perhaps?],just in case there's a sl bladder irritation due to strong urine, wch can make you want to go more often, even tho less of it

Thanks all!

thegreylady Wed 26-Sep-12 12:03:23

I still remember my first day at school 64 years ago!I remember sitting on the floor during assembly desperately needing to wee but not knowing how to be able to go.I remember thinkig that if I let it out a few drops at a time I wouldnt be soaking wet...wrong!!I dont remember any consequences and I didnt do it again.I think it is normal in the early days of school.

Punkatheart Wed 26-Sep-12 12:06:23

My daughter did it once on the school trip. She was 9! She is a party animal...and often used to forget to get to the loo....

steppemum Wed 26-Sep-12 12:18:55

my ds never did, my dd1 was totally hopeless, loads of accidents. dd2 has just started, has wet herself as she has arrived home most days, can't get to the loo in time, but so far not at school (we have had 3 wet beds too, very unusual)

dd1 was so bad, I had 5 pairs of trouser for her, needed a clean pair every day (not true accidents, just too late going to the loo so very wet knickers) Couldn't wear skirts as wet knickers rubbed legs and made them sore. She never siad anything, so didn't change her knickers. She was like that on and off until year 2. The TA was amazing, small village school at the time, she told her every play time and lunchtime to go to the loo. dd wasn't very willing to go unless she really needed to. Eventually she understood the concept of emptiying your bladder before it gets too full. She had a tracksuit in her pe bag and spare knickers, so there was always something to change into if necessary.

steppemum Wed 26-Sep-12 12:20:17

do check she knows where the loos are and how to ask when she wants to go.

HelenofSparta Wed 26-Sep-12 13:10:07

Dd started school couple of weeks ago and she wet her bed for the first time ever in her first week. They are so excited/exhausted thought of toilet trips are forgotten I think.
My mum is a teacher and she said accidents are v v common, not just in Reception

jojane Wed 26-Sep-12 13:25:17

If she has been reliably dry before starting school then I would put it down to a passing phase and just work through it with her - telling her to make sure she goes at certain times of the day, if he's wetting herself on way home then tell her to go to toilet when she gets her coat and bag to come home,
If on the other hand she has never been reliably and independently dry (ie you not having to tell her to go to toilet etc) then a wobble watch might e a good idea ds1 had to start school in nappies as would wet himself several times a day. A bit more complicated then just wetting himself but he now wears a wobble watch to school which vibrates every hour to remind him to go to toilet and so far this term no accidents (at school at least, home is a different story)

DeWe Wed 26-Sep-12 14:30:55

Dd2 had a number of wee accidents in her first term (and then liked one of the pants so much she was frequently telling them she had so she could have the fun of choosing a new pair of pants hmm)

But it turned out she was badly constipated and this was one of the symptoms. So if she has been reliably dry it's worth checking there isn't anything medical causing it. She also used to wet frequently with urine infections.

soorploom Wed 26-Sep-12 14:31:13

its ok i think its sometimes hard to get the teacher's attention if they need to go and then they forget for a while and then its too late. just lots of new info to absorb at school

ontheedgeofwhatever Wed 26-Sep-12 14:42:04

DD did this in reception a couple of times even though she was normally reliably dry. The school insisted we kept spare tights or socks and knickers in a bag on their pegs so presumably it was fairly normal and expected

givemeaclue Wed 26-Sep-12 14:43:41

don't think its the norm tbh to be wetting herself a few times a week.

MarysBeard Wed 26-Sep-12 14:48:09

Not at all unusual I'd say. I remember walking home from school with my mum and weeing on the doormat as I'd forgotten to go to the loo in the afternoon at school, & just didn't quite make it. And I was 5 when I started school, and had been out of nappies since I was 2!

I still remember as I was v embarrassed but my mum didn't mind at all.

DD2 is 3.5 & wet the bed twice this week after starting back at nursery. Fortunately dry last night - phew.

R2PeePoo Wed 26-Sep-12 15:05:15

The reception classes at DD's school are always putting requests in the school newsletter for outgrown uniform and pants. I've handed over a couple of bags full myself.

DD did it four or five times in the first term and then was fine, never happened again.

Thanks again.
I am pretty sure it's not a medical issue - she's not constipated and not reluctant to do her wees when she remembers, no pain on weeing and seems normal strength etc.
I also checked that she knows she can use the toilet at school and that's all fine too.

givemeaclue - your opinion that it's not normal goes against what everyone else says! Why do you think it's not normal?

Oddly, the school don't have spare pants etc for accidents but after the one accident she did have at school, I have left a full change of clothes there for her her in her cubbyhole. I also think things are settling down now as she gets used to the routine and also with a bit of an effort to get her to focus more on remembering to go to the loo.

It is good to know that others have experience of this being fairly normal too and I'll reassure DH!

tanyatais Thu 06-Dec-12 22:40:30

Our daughter had two accidents this week .The first day I received a call that she bumped her head with another child and was given cold compress but there was nothing to worry about. So upon taking her from school i noticed not only the bump but the fact that they changed her into another child's pants and short socks only ,which left her freezing . The next day the teacher said that she was not there when the collision happened so i left it there. Yesterday our girl was wearing size 10 years boy's trousers with no pants or socks during the whole day. I questioned the teacher and she said that she was not there and another member of staff changed her with this outrageous outfit. Not pleased at allsad We had a talk about the accidents and the teacher pointed out that she seems fine and happy but some children get quite tired before the holidays and that could contribute to her stress levels. what do you think? What should I do? I feel that her needs are neglected but do not know how to go about it?
Just a mote that our child had spare clothes in her book bag on both occasions but no one checked and they just used some of their clothes .I still can't think how you would dress a child into someone's probably not very hygienic trousers with no pants and socks at all? I feel utterly upset !

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