to ask if you would expect

[torbay73]

your dh/dp to spend the whole day with you when you have just had a csection.
Obv not chained to bed. Happy to go and get meals etc but not leaving to pick kids up when I thought MIL was or going out for a celebratory meal with dc and possibly MIL.
Bearing in mind I will be on my own the next day as dh working from home so will only come in the evening.

[MrsTerrysChocolateOrange]

Hell yes, he would spend the day with me. Celebratory meal, my arse.

[WelshMaenad]

No, and he didn't either. For one thing the hospital operated a 'quiet time' of several hours where he wasn't permitted to be on the ward. Secondly, our elder child needed him more than I did. Thirdly, I was spacked out of my head on morphine and just wanted to snooze.

[DoMeDon]

I don't think I would expect him there all day - i would think the other DC needed him more. BUT I have not had a c-section and how you feel is how you feel. Celebratory meal is understandable in terms of 'Yeah, new baby, hooray" but surely the star player is missing!

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

I'd rather him give the time to our other dc while I was still in hospital, and have him be able t focus on me and the baby more when we got home.

Having the dh/dp around all day is a first baby only treat!

[GoldandOrangeAnnunziata]

He should be picking the kids up IMO but celebratory meal definitely not!

[torbay73]

Thanks for replies. I am probably being silly. My understanding was that mil would take dc to school and Pick them up and bring them to hospital so dh would be spending exactly same amount of time with dc anyway.
Hospital basically allows partners and dc to visit whenever they like but other visitors are restricted. 9 till 9 I believe for partners.
I suppose that why I am feeling vulnerable as I sure everybody else will have their partners around and plenty of other visitors. (could be wrong of course)I am unlikely to have many visitors as my parents are deceased and the rest of my family live too far away. Obviously do have friends who can visit but they can't come till evening.
Incidently dh wasn't around all the time for the 1st baby either. He probably stayed for no more than an hour or 2 at any one time.

[MammaTJisWearingGold]

I was knackered!! I needed rest not him chuntering on at me!!

I wish he had been there to see my baby getting more poorly though and when I heard the MW say to the doctor 'If we leave her, we will lose her'. I was glad he had come back by the time the Consultant had come from another hospital to get her though. Glad my DD1 was there too, to ask 'Is she going to die' as neither of could ask it. Even though the answer was a not reassuring 'I don't know'. She is fine now btw.

My second one,I was in intensive care, so he was torn between me and the baby. I presume he didn't stay too long though, as he had my DD1 and DD2 to take care of.

[attheendoftheday]

I think caring for the older dc is necessary, but a celebratory meal is taking the piss! Any celebration needs to include you and the new baby.