Kids party etiquette - which one should DD go to?

[BeautifulBlondePineapple]

More of a WWYD? DD aged 7 has been invited to 2 parties at the same time.

Party no1: girl in her class. Her mum texted me last week to save the date before the invites went out, but I didn't reply as I wasn't sure what we were doing that weekend.

Party no2: better friend in the other class. Received the invitation on the same day as invitation for party no1. This party will have more of DDs friends at it and is to do an activity that DD is longing to do.

DD would rather go to party no2. So....would it be rude to decline party no1 invitation as though I knew about it first?

[MammaTJisanOlympicSumoWrestler]

Could she pop in to one for half an hour, then go to the one she really wants to?

[BeautifulBlondePineapple]

Good idea, but they are 45 minutes travel apart & both parties last the same amount of time so couldn't really do both.

[coffeeandwine]

If you hadn't replied to no. 1 to say she could go, then I think that is fine to go to the second party. It doesn't matter which party you knew about first.

[nokidshere]

If you haven't replied to either I dont see what the problem is to be honest. Just reply to the first one and say sorry but you have another party on that day.

simples.

[iloveACK]

Given you didn't reply to the save the date, I'd let her go to whichever party she prefers to go to, if going to both is not possible.

[edwinbear]

I think as long as you hadn't replied to the first in the affirmative, it's fine to politely decline and let her go to the second.

[DuchessofMalfi]

It's a free country. You can do what you like. If you'd rather go to the second party then do that. Can't see a problem with that at all.

[takingthestairs]

If you haven't confirmed attendance at the first party or replied to the save the date, then I think your DD is fine to go to the second party, but if you're worried the first child will be upset, maybe you could get them a little present and birthday card too?

[NovackNGood]

Save the date for a party invite??? Surely an invite would suffice?

[redskyatnight]

It's even possible that (on the basis there's likely to be a fair overlap in invitation lists) the 2 mums will get together and either sort a joint party or one will move the date.

If that doesn't happen, I would go with party 2.

[BeautifulBlondePineapple]

Phew - thought I wasn't being rude, but just wanted to check!

BTW: The 'save the date' text was sent because the parties are taking place the week that school goes back.

[hlipop]

let your daughter choose if she old enough to decide for herself

[hlipop]

just reread op and realised you said 7

[CanoeSlalom]

"Save the date" is rather impolite and doesn't count.

It's fine to accept no2.

[halcyondays]

As you hadn't replied, then it's fine to go to the second party.

[PiedWagtail]

You hadn't replied to the first party, so it's fine to go to the second!!!

[SirBoobAlot]

If party one doesn't know you heard about it first, go to party two. Send a message of apology saying you had been told about anther party in advance, and what a shame it is timing wise. Arrange a play date to deliver present.

Feel a bit sorry for both children to be honest, their friendship groups will be halved at their parties :(

[JumpingThroughHoops]

Party 2: its her friends and that is probably the one she wants to go to.

[ekupeg]

Party 2, if its something your daughter would prefer to do

[DowagersHump]

Save the date for a child's birthday party is a bit absurd. It's not a wedding!

Definitely go to party 2

[PenisVanLesbian]

I think the rude ship sailed when you ignored ma 1's text.

[BeautifulBlondePineapple]

Mum 1's text didn't ask for a response so I didn't give one because we,re going away that weekend & hadn't decided whether to go on the Fri (in which case we,d miss the party) or the Sat. Thought I'd know better when the invitations were out.

Anyway, DD really wants to go to party2 because that's the better friend who we regularly have round for play & tea etc.

Thanks for all your advice. I'll take a present for child1 and hope the mum is ok about it.

[TwelveLeggedWalk]

If you think there's a chance the 2 mums are talking anyhow could you text mum 1 saying sorry you didn't reply but you werent sure if you were busy (not a lie!) and turns out you are because of party 2 (marginal lie) and you're sure lots of girls would like to celebrate both (possibly a lie...) so why not team up?

[zipzap]

I'm guessing that maybe the mum who sent out the save the date cards had realised there was a date clash and sent the texts out in the hope that some people would reply quickly and commit themselves to her dd's party rather than going to the other party...