to be feeling a bit overwhelmed by pregnancy today?

[emeraldgirl1]

Am only 7 weeks so it's a long way to go yet but I think some hormones are kicking in because today I have just started to feel completely overwhelmed.

I am worrying about affording this baby, I am worrying about having a healthy baby, and I am just so tired all the time and tired of feeling nauseous.

DH is being very detached because he has his own superstitions concerns about the pregnancy and 'doesn't want to get too excited' before 12w scan in case something goes wrong. But I am not sure he is going to be very excited even after that because he has such deep-rooted concerns about the baby being OK. (He has a serious disability which of course both of us are concerned about passing on, but his concern runs so deep he can't even talk about it).

Also I stupidly thought I would be able to just get on with normal life as much as possible while I was pregnant as I so desperately want to feel 'normal' for as long as possible: I don't mean swigging booze and partying all night but I hoped I'd be able to just get on with work as normal and stuff. But I am feeling so tired and not myself that it is affecting my work - I work from home so there are none of the usual office distractions. All my family can talk to me about is the pregnancy - I am so thrilled they are so excited for me but I would like to talk about something else to take my mind off all these worries! Then of course I realise I am sounding hypocritical because I am saying DH isn't excited ENOUGH...

I felt so lucky when I got pg - I never took the idea of it for granted - and of course I know I still am so lucky. I guess this is just a hormonal day but I can't stop crying this morning. :(

Does anyone have any good advice for how to stop this silly feeling? A kick up the bum perhaps?

[LilBlondePessimist]

Don't know how to make you feel any better but a kick up the bum won't do it. Your hormones are going mad and you're exhausted. You just need to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to rest as much as is possible. Let your dp know that you're there to listen should he need to talk, but also tell him you need some emotional support too. Unplug the phone so you don't need to talk to any well wishers, and get a good sleep tonight - tomorrow is a new day! And if the nausea gets too much or you are vomiting a lot, see your gp - they can really help. :)

[G1nger]

I think we all worry a bit at the start. But I promise you it's worth it. When you meet your baby you'll feel completely overwhelmed with love. For now, just focus on a few things that you like to do (go for a walk in the fresh air/have a nap/eat some ice cream or something.). It'll all be brilliant - I promise x

[emeraldgirl1]

Thanks LilBlonde!! x

The nausea is that irritating kind where you can't actually throw up, it just kind of hangs over you all day. My appetite has gone, which because I'm a greedy pig I always find a bit miserable. All food except ginger nuts and toast seems gross to me. Am trying to get early nights but then do that awful thing of waking up at 3am when of course everything seems overwhelming!!

[emeraldgirl1]

Thanks G1nger, that actually makes me feel better!! Knowing I'm not the only idiot one... :)

[hodgiebreeder]

TOTALLY remember that feeling!! It all seemed so surreal and then I'd suddenly get flashes of 'oh my GOD I'm going to be someone's MUM!!'. For me the first trimester was the hardest, all the sickness and tiredness had worn off by about 12 weeks and when you see your bubba for the first time at the 12 week scan hopefully it will put your mind at rest. Then the kicks start and you feel calmer as you an keep track of your little one and you really feel 'pregnant' IYKWIM? I think it's true what they say..... Women become mothers as soon as they see the positive pregnancy test, men, not until they are confronted with a screaming new born!!! My hubby was excited throughout my pregnancy but didn't really 'get it' and I guess because it wasn't his body, could switch off from it far easier than me. Hang in there, and HUGE congratulations

[ILiveInAPineapple]

First trimester is hellish. I loved being pregnant, but I was bone crushingly tired in the 1st Trim, and nauseous 24h a day, plus the hormones rushing around make you worry and become upset about anything and everything.

It does get better, in my 3rd trim I have never felt so well apart from SPD and I really enjoyed my bump.

I hope you feel better soon.

[emeraldgirl1]

Thanks so much hodgie and tiggytape.

Yes, it had never occurred to me before that this stage would be a tough one!! Somehow I've managed to see friends through pregnancies without actually ever thinking that this is a wierd stage! Vulnerable is exactly the right word. DH is the most supportive partner in the world usually (he's seen me through a LOT) but this is not his forte at ALL and it's making me feel a bit isolated from him. I think I do need to have a discussion with him, preferably one that doesn't start with me throwing pans and yelling that he's being unsupportive

[emeraldgirl1]

ILiveinaPineapple thank you. Good to hear it gets better!!
I think too that (at least in my case) I feel guilty about being in a bit of a state because I do know people who have struggled to get pg etc and I think it is churlish not to mention bad juju to moan! Which is why this feeling has taken me so much by surprise. I didn't expect it to be all roses and merriment but I can't believe how much unlike my usual self I feel.

[ILiveInAPineapple]

I had 3 MC and took over 2 yrs to conceive my DS but I still felt dreadful in early pregnancy! Moan away, tis your right as a pregnant lady ;-)

[ENormaSnob]

I am feeling the same op

This will be dc4 and I'm terrified.

[emeraldgirl1]

ENorma - oh dear sorry to hear that... so even having done this 3 times already doesn't help...?? :(

[BlackeyedPetitsPois]

Congratulations!
Being pg is both the most amazing thing and the most worrying!! Your body is doing a fantastic thing...making a little person! I remember being worried about all the same things as you...money, healthy baby etc. It is natural and coupled with your hormones it makes it a tough time. I echo advice in previous comments, be kind to yourself, sleep, eat well, talk to your DH....IT WILL GET BETTER
Good luck!

[TittyWhistles]

emerald it will pass. I'm 14 wks now and the nausea and all encompassing tiredness has passed, I'm feeling quite breezy actually. So much energy compared to before! If it wasn't for the nasal congestion I'd be on top of the world!

I think your DP is right, to be honest. We had a ban on speaking about pregnancy before the 12 week scan as we've had miscarriages in the past. I felt a bit sad for the little chap (ess) for being so totally disregarded but we didn't want to tempt fate. Then we saw him/her on the scan monitor and it feels real now.

Good luck, it'll be scan day before you know it.

[ENormaSnob]

No!

We are in a good position to be having a fourth dc so I know my worries are irrational but that doesn't make it easier.

Plus I am frightened of getting hyperemesis again as I had with the last 3.

Oh, and I am a midwife

[mermaid101]

I felt exactly the same as you. So worried and overwhelmed. It came and went throughout my pregnancy. I'm a real worrier, so I guess it was to be expected. As the others have said, the first trimester was the worst and then it settled down a bit.

I think it's totally normal to feel like this. Don't feel you have to be all serene and glowy all the time. I certainly wasn't!

A friend gave me a book called something like "A rough guide to Pregnancy" by Kaz Cooke. It was great. It's written a bit like Bridget Jones' Diary and I found it a lighthearted insight into "normal" pregnancy feelings, rather than the feelings I thought I ought to have.

Good luck. I hope it all goes well for you!

[Discolite]

Emerald, I'm also 7 weeks and although I don't have some of the concerns that you have re disability or money, it is worth remembering that your body is going through immense physical changes already.

Your uterus has doubled in size!!! That's going to take it out of you. Not to mention increased blood volume...add to that incredibly painful boobs (in my case anyway), those weird twinges that seem designed to make you panic and the utterly depressing nausea. All in all you have every reason to moan. I'm moaning away even though I had a mmc at ten weeks in March and feel very lucky to be pregnant again.

I'm finding the massive lethargy the hardest to deal with, I just can't be bothered to do anything and feel like I'm wasting my summer holiday.

Anyway, you are not alone! Get chatting to your DH and see if you can get him to gently open up a bit.

[emeraldgirl1]

Thanks os much discolite - yup am also suffering with the giant swollen boobs... what fun it is! The weird twinges too... last couple of days I've just felt very stretchy and swollen even though of course no bump yet. Massive lethargy is an awful problem for me made worse by the fact that I HAVE to work and as I work from home I have literally no external motivation to do so... But good to know I'm not alone even if I'm sorry you're suffering too!!

mermaid - that book sounds GREAT - I've found a lot of the other pg books quite patronising and unhelpful so far... off to Amazon I go!!