to wish we weren't so effing popular?

[thatlldopigthatlldo]

Going on holiday. We can't afford an actual holiday abroad or anywhere interesting so we are holidaying in a different part of the country in a borrowed house for a week.

The squabbling amongst family nearby to this holiday has started already. Who is having us round when, who is getting to spend the most time with us, who we are upsetting by chosing stay overnight with another on the way to the fecking holiday.

No bugger ever drives 5 hours to visit us of course, and instead we are expected to travel around in our ridiculously tiny car stacked to the eyeballs with kids crap, to keep everyone happy.

AIBU to say sod the lot of them and stay in said accommodation and read my book and spend quality time with the kids (i work full time).

and i suspect i am already but, everyone of these complainants has had holidays abroad to exotic places regularly, and on that point, AIBU also think fuck em i don't want them spoiling our seaside break.

[Pascha]

YANBU. Invite them all over to the house on one afternoon or evening. Anyone who chooses to come can see you, everyone else can sod off.

[JeezyPeeps]

YANBU. My idea of a holiday from hell is going around visiting relatives.

Relax and take it easy, otherwise you'll get back home more stressed than you were when you left for your holiday!

[HecateHarshPants]

Tell them no, and that if they want to see you while you are in the area, they can come to the house you are renting?

Or is it that you don't want to see them at all? In which case, tell them you've changed your plans and are now holidaying in

[worryingwillow]

Yes, what pascha said. See them all at once, then make it clear that you need some 'quality family time' and that's it.

[ChitChatFlyingby]

YANBU, how annoying! Agree with Pascha, arrange 1 event where you get to see everybody. Your place, pub meal, barbecue in a park, whatever it is, do that and then spend the rest of the time having a holiday.

And TELL them you have no intention of filling up every day visiting different family members because you really need a break from driving and need some peace and quiet.

[Thecunningstunt]

YANBU. I booked a retreat for my family in October so we can do just that! Every other holiday we do in the uk is so we can see family etc and it's always as you describe...

[Happiestinwellybobs]

Absolutely fine to tell them all to bog off! I would arrange one date for them to come for a BBQ and me quite clear that this is your only break and you need some family time.

[thatlldopigthatlldo]

the only upside is that none of them are 'my' family and so i'm not getting dragged in to it personally. it's the children who are popular to be fair, not me! (surprising )

i don't mind seeing any of them, lovely. but we haven't even packed yet and our holiday is being torn to pieces.

this is our plan B of holidays as it is, the trip to my family being cancelled on account of bullshit i don't want be part of.

[thatlldopigthatlldo]

oh no, they can't all be in the one place at one time because there's been an argument somewhere. complicated by cultural issues around pride and loyalty.

now you see why we live 5 hours away.

i just want an ice cream.

why can't we afford a holiday 'away'?

[thatlldopigthatlldo]

the last time this happened, DH hung up the phone to his sister and stayed home instead. she is the only one keeping quiet this time!

[Hassled]

Set aside one day of your week. Family on Side A of the Gulf can come for coffee in the morning, Family on Side B of the Gulf can come for a cup of tea mid-afternoon. They're coming to you, you're not going to them.

[thatlldopigthatlldo]

snort at gulf. i think i may now see why there are so many problems in iran

[SilkySmith]

YANBU I don't count visits to places where we have lots of people to do rounds of duty to as holidays (unfortunately once we've done that we can't afford a real holiday)

[thatlldopigthatlldo]

sorry Iran comment reads very random. Iranian family are the most offended and feuding which they are trying to make our problem.

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

Stay where you are, host open house on one day of the stay preferably the last day so they can't turn up on your doorstep again and if they're too stuck in their feuds etc to attend then stuff 'em.

[BadgersRetreat]

lie and say you cancelled the trip

then go and have a nice quiet peaceful time on your own

[Pascha]

Do what Hassled suggests. Don't you dare let them encroach on your holiday for more than one day.

[thatlldopigthatlldo]

so far none of you have given reasons to just suck it up, i need those reasons before i take a firm stance on this.

[HecateHarshPants]

Why?

[TheSkiingGardener]

There aren't any reasons to just suck it up. why on earth would there be!

It's your holiday, on your time, to do as you and your immediate family please. Issue an open house invitation for one day. Let them sort out who comes when. Hope they can't settle it and don't come at all.

Eat Ice cream.

[Pascha]

I wonder why?

[ChitChatFlyingby]

Well if you WANT the reasons as to why you should suck it up....

1. Your DC will really value getting to spend time with their cousins (2nd cousins, etc, etc). My DC adore visiting all the family when I go back to Oz to visit.
   
   
2. Strong family ties are valuable, and you need to see people to help you reconnect with them on a close level
   
   
3. The only way to turn family relationships into friendships is by spending time with them, and putting yourself out.
   
   
4. Once you become 'friends', you will have an absolute blast visiting them.

[ChitChatFlyingby]

But I still say you should limit how much time you spend with them.

The whole idea is to have a rest. There is nothing wrong with a holiday to visit family, but that shouldn't ever be your only break. Especially as it is so short anyway. If you were going for more than 3 weeks, then that wouldn't be so bad.

[thatlldopigthatlldo]

why? so i can argue my point in a prepared way.

[HecateHarshPants]

Ah. I see. So you want us to think of all the things they might say to you? Good idea.

erm, I can't think of anything!

You know them, what sort of things are they likely to say?