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AIBU?

to change my mind and tell the school I don't want dd to have cervical cancer jab?

304 replies

lowfatiscrap12 · 09/07/2012 12:49

Yes, I know there's another (very long) thread about vaccines.
I was going to post my question there, but thought it would be lost under twenty odd pages of replies.
Last week I gave dd1 (aged 12) a consent form to have all 3 of her vaccinations for cervical cancer.
Now I should point out that I am very pro-vaccination. All three of my dc's have had, after plenty of research and reading by me, all of their childhood vaccinations. I've read and researched and looked at all the pros and cons and am generally pro vax.
But I've been umming and ahhing over this one.
I've checked and it's Gardasil she'd be having.
I've looked at the reasons for and against it.
I decided last week that the benefits outweighed the negatives, but now I'm wavering slightly.
I'm 39. I didn't have cervical cancer vaccinations at school.
I had safe sex and smear tests.
I've read about some of the side effects of Gardasil and I'm now quite tempted to phone the school and ask them to destroy my consent letter. Or send another letter in. Or just keep dd at home the day they do the HPV jabs.
AIBU?
What does everyone on Mumsnet think about the new HPV vaccine?

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valiumredhead · 09/07/2012 12:51

Tbh I am very glad I have a ds and don't have to make this decision. I am also very pro vaccination but would struggle a lot with this.

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nethunsreject · 09/07/2012 12:51

You've weighed up the pros and cons and come to your own conclusion, so go with it.

DOn't know what I'd do as I don't know anything about it (young dses), but am generally pro vaccine, for my own kids, but well awarre it is not a straightforward issue.

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AKMD · 09/07/2012 12:53

Does your DD have an opinion?

If it was my DD, I'd let her have it. She might be the most sensible person in the world but that doesn't make her immune from sexual assault :(

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MsVestibule · 09/07/2012 12:53

My DD is only 5, so not something I've had to think about much yet, although in principle, I do think I would agree to her having it at the right time.

Yes, you had safe sex and were OK, but there's nothing to say your DD will do the same. However, you've done your research and if you don't want her to have it, I'm sure you're entitled to change your mind. What does your DD think about it?

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Birdsgottafly · 09/07/2012 12:56

Well you couldn't have had continual safe sex, otherwise you wouldn't have a DD.

My eldest was to old to need my consent to have this when it came in, but my two youngest have had it.

There is a high rate of 'non promiscious' cervical cancer in my family, so i felt there wasn't really 'cons' to consider.

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smellyolddog · 09/07/2012 12:57

Hi - I don't have a DD but as a woman who had Cervical cancer cells removed at the age of 24 I would do it.

They have changed the age for smears to over 25's so i would of been one that was missed.

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Birdsgottafly · 09/07/2012 12:59

My neice died of cervical cancer at 22, the doctor wouldn't give her a smear, she paid privately but it was to late, she passed away after suffering major opperations to try to save her life.

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Orlando · 09/07/2012 13:03

I didn't let my two dds have it, because I felt that emphasis should also be put on promoting condom use to avoid infection with HPV - and that's what I do at home (mantra: 'Don't ever get in a car without wearing a seatbelt, don't ever have sex without using a condom.') However, I've since done more research and realised it's not quite as straightforward as I initially thought, and that HPV can cause oral cancers from oral sex etc and so it's something I'll need to revisit in time. Neither of my daughters are at the stage where it's really pertinent just yet, but when they are (or when they go to uni and I won't necessarily know anymore!) I'll probably recommend they have it. But I do tend to think that where any new vaccinations are concerned, hanging back a little isn't a bad thing.

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OneHandFlapping · 09/07/2012 13:03

I let DD have it. As far as I know, all her friends had it too.

If it was available for boys, DSs would have had it as well - those poor girls have to catch it from somewhere.

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Paiviaso · 09/07/2012 13:04

HPV can be spread even through "safe sex." HPV is very prevalent. So much so I couldn't even get tested for it!

When I became informed about HPV I asked to be tested for it during a routine STI screen. I was told there are so many strains, and it is so prevalent, there was no point. I asked for the vaccine, and again, was told it is so prevalent that was no point, I was too old (25) and surely already had it. If I wanted the vaccine I could pay for it myself; I decided not to do this and just get my regular smears.

Your daughter needs to have this vaccine before she becomes sexually active.

Also, to those that have sons, HPV is now being linked to throat cancer in men. There are discussions about the benefits of males also getting HPV vaccinations, have a Google.

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DanyTargaryen · 09/07/2012 13:05

OneHandFlapping How can cervical cancer be caught from boys?

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Ariel24 · 09/07/2012 13:06

OP sorry if I'm ignorant, what are the side effects of the HPV jab? I don't know enough about it.

I'm 24 and personally would have loved the opportunity to have this. I fall into the group of women who were too old to have this (and by the time it came out it s probably too late, I don't know if I can be tested for HPv?) and also they raised the age of cervical cancer screening to 25. They even refused to do a smear test for me upon request, despite me having been sexually active for a number of years. Not exactly encouraging young people to be responsible for their own health but thats another thread I guess!

Im pregnant with first baby (girl) and I would want her to have the HPV jab later on. But if you have concerns about it I can understand that too. Out of interest what does your daughter think?

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fortifiedwithtea · 09/07/2012 13:08

DD1 is in year 9. She had the jabs. DD2 is in year 4 I will do the same for her when she is old enough. That was/is my decision.

You must go with what you think is right.

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EndoplasmicReticulum · 09/07/2012 13:09

You're perfectly within your rights to change your mind.

What worries me a bit about this vaccine is that it is not effective against all the strains of HPV, just the most common ones. So, even if you are vaccinated you are not 100% risk free. So will still need to have smear tests. My concern is that young women will think "I've had the vaccine, so I don't need the smear test".

From a personal point of view, I only have sons, and it's currently not offered for boys.

I'd vaccinate my imaginary daughter though.

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EndoplasmicReticulum · 09/07/2012 13:10

Dany - cervical cancer can be caused by HPV, which is a virus, which is spread by sexual intercourse. It's the HPV that is being vaccinated against.

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JuliaScurr · 09/07/2012 13:10

Dany it's a virus that causes cervical cancer
boys can catch it, thus get cancer oral or anal from sex with other men
boys should get vaccine imo

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Paiviaso · 09/07/2012 13:10

DanyTargaryen, the vaccine is for strains of a virus called HPV, some strains of HPV are cancer causing.

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GnomeDePlume · 09/07/2012 13:11

Dany, it isnt the cancer which is spread but the virus which causes it.

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lowfatiscrap12 · 09/07/2012 13:11

my daughter is very intelligent and mature for her age and has done lots of her own research. She says she wants it. I'm torn. I guess the problem is that, as with all vaccine damage cases, millions are vaccinated, a tiny minority have complications (which could also be coincidental and not vaccine related) and it's only ever the ones with bad experiences we hear about.

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bigTillyMint · 09/07/2012 13:11

DD has already had all 3 - she is in Y8. So have all her friends at lots of different schools. She felt a bit funny after the first one, and said they all hurt, but apart from that?

What are the cons?

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CecilyP · 09/07/2012 13:15

That is just so sad, Birds, I am really sorry for your loss.

While I think promoting a safe sex, or even an abstinence, message is a good one, I had a friend who had to undergo a hysterectomy at 34 because of cervical cancer. She is quite straight-laced and certainly didn't sleep around, but she married quite young and her even younger husband, who was obviously not ready for commitment, was not faithful to her.

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TheRhubarb · 09/07/2012 13:15

I have an 11yo dd and I don't want her to have the vaccine, although I will be letting her make her own mind up as she will be 12.

Why not give your dd the options and let her decide, she's not a tot anymore.

I agree with Endo - this only protects against one strain. I would hate to think that girls believe this will protect them against cervical cancer so they don't have to worry so much about safe sex.

My nieces both had their vaccines at this age. I asked them if they knew what cervical cancer was and how it was contracted (generally), they didn't have a clue. The school had not educated them about it at all, just given them the injections.

There should be discussions about it and plenty of info on safe sex and the different strains of cervical cancer.

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MorrisZapp · 09/07/2012 13:15

If I can be frank, putting on a seatbelt does not take the pleasure and spontaneity out of driving.

Using a condom however, can do that for sex. Which is why good advice/ sensibleness/ education is never going to be enough. Mistakes happen, and they always will.

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BartletForAmerica · 09/07/2012 13:15

You can change your mind, but I think you'd be making the wrong decision.

Of course, Gardasil doesn't cover everything, but neither does any vaccine or treatment.

I believe in no sex before marriage and my husband and I were both virgins when we married and we'll be teaching our children (although I just have a boy at the moment) to believe the same, BUT that doesn't mean they will or that that their future partners will.

This is a way to significantly reduce deaths and problems from cervical cancer.

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Ariel24 · 09/07/2012 13:16

As you say your daughter is intelligent and mature for her age, I would be inclined to let her have a big say in whether she has iit or not, especially if she has done her own research and is making an informed choice for herself.

I think it can only be a good thing for her to start thinking about looking after her own health, also hopefully it will encourage her in the future to make other responsible choices about sex and relationships.

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