Young teens, strings & pubic depilation

(353 Posts)
tsunami Tue 03-Jul-12 06:44:25

My eldest daughter is just 14 and I've found a lacy string in her room and now a big wad of pubic hair in her shower: suspect we're talking a close shave, and I dread to think how much she's taken off. I don't think there's a (serious) boy in the picture or if this is just peer-pressurised body-angst, but - while I'm no saint and have been around the block myself in my time - I really hate this current pole-dancer/porn shaved pussy trend. Call me a square (and maybe a hypocrite as I do wax up to my bikini line - sorry; TMI but I'm hoping we're all girls together in here - or can at least tolerate girl talk) I think total pubic baldness is unreconstructed pandering to male fantasy... IMO even Brazilians and landing strips are inappropriate for young teens. Still trying to cope with the string (yes, this is my first daughter, and she's growing up, so maybe I have to get used to it. We've had the high heels conversation, the provocative dressing and the make-up one...is this just the next step?)

I find it gutting that such young girls fall for this kind of stuff. OK - once you're older then it's your business, but kids need boundaries and should we and can we draw the line? Given the images they can get access to online - which they can and do, no matter what precautions you try to put in place at home - I'm not surprised they feel under pressure. Yes, I have looked - half the porn girls are bald; most have breast implants. Call me old fashioned, but - yeeuch.

I would've died if my mum had ever discussed my depilation issues with me. I can just see it: 'Darling...about your pubes...' 'Yeah, Mum, whatever: bog off.' You can't! Maybe I just tell her I don't think she should leave big clods of pubic hair in the plughole from a hygiene and self-respect POV.

What do I do? Do I do nothing, and leave it? It's her body...AIBU even to think of getting involved?

Krumbum Thu 05-Jul-12 17:58:33

Please read back through the thread before saying I am victim blaming because it is fact the complete opposite, I am blaming rapists and rape culture.
Yes rape is a criminal offence, one that is Almost entirely men against women and that is barely ever taken to court and sentenced..

Socknickingpixie Thu 05-Jul-12 22:38:43

krum it appears to have escaped your attention but i have actually been contributing to this very intresting discussion since very early on in the thread,

several times you have gone to great lenghts to inform us about the body hair removal/oppression/patriarchy/pornography and how it all contributes towards rape so if it contributes towards rape how is it NOT blameing.

if anybody said to me that woman deserved to get raped because she is wearing a miniskirt and had 7 vodka and cokes i would wait till they were all alone and re educate them by smashing there head against a very hard wall till there brain showed some sign of intelligent thought in a christian and loving way using polite yet firm reminders of just how fucking fucked up wrong they are.

so why is it any different to say women who shave there body hair or do themselves up contribute towards widespread rape because it reiterates oppression and patriarchy because that in essance is what you are saying.

back to the point of the op, but you seam to think that a 14 year old child needs to be educated about this view point as yes its a view point not actually a fact, as opposed to perhaps asking her to clean up after herself and giving her a minor pep talk about beauty being how she sees herself not other people.

tsunami Sat 10-Nov-12 17:23:03

Back from holiday. Smooth bikini line: got through 90 razors and 103 tubes of Veet. It was draughty, however. Have let everything grow back now and my spider colony down there is so much happier...

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