for not expecting a 2yo to call my bluff(58 Posts)
I asked dd to come upstairs and get dressed
She asked why?
Because we're going to <aunt and uncles who she knows well and loves seeing>
But I don't want to
Ok shall we just go and leave you here? (usually is followed by a frenzy of dressing and cries of NO NO
Ok I just stay here
<big smile...goes off to play with toys>
I know they say don't threaten something you can't follow through, but really! Have I been outsmarted by a toddler?
Stealth, you have my child!
My response to "OK, I stay here then" is a "Pah! Nice try smallfest, sadly not the way the world works" and give her a choice between wearing something she clearly hates or something she likes better. There is a cardigan we both loathe that has been kept specifically for the purpose
What Cory said.
When mine were toddlers, there were times to humour, times to josh, times to negotiate a wee bit - but at the end of the day, there were times to pull rank, and say - I am mummy, and this is how it goes.. I didn't always get it right.. sometimes I negotiated a bit too long, sometimes I was too heavy handed- but at the end of the day when I told them what was going to happen - in no uncertain tones - they went along with it without further protest. Mostly.
I remember when ds1 was 3, when I announced it was time for bed, he was perplexed, and told me it wasn't bedtime cos it was still light outside - we had a discussion on what the clock said, the effects of british summer time on sunlight, and his need for sleep etc. He digested this for a few seconds, sensed he was fighting a losing logical battle - and then this small voice said - I honestly swear to God - he said ...
" Yes, well - it's all very academic isn't it, cos I'm not going to bed yet!"
Inside I was just dying with laughter
I said "Well, I'm your mummy - I've told you why it's time for bed, and now you are going! whether it's academic or not! Now - up the stairs!"
There were times for discussion, and times when what I said went..
He's nearly 15 now - he's a lovely young man, respectful, bright, mature, easygoing, humorous etc, and I always try to listen to what he says, and take on board where he's coming from, and try to negotiate - but although I have to do it rarely, I still occasionally have to pull rank, when I say " I know we've discussed this, but I'm not happy about it, and this is what's happening.... "
OP - you made me laugh - cos am sure I've had my bluff called before now
As a parent, I've spent so much time thinking on my feet...
She's doing that at 2
Just wait till she's 6. My 6 yr old can negotiate for England and can see through any cracks in an
argument discussion about bedtime / TV time / going out / food in an instant.
Then he needs reminding who's in charge. But he is a very good negotiator.
Loving this thread, really making me
I LOVE little people !
I think my dd may have wandered off to yours for a bit. Can you keep her there for a while longer?
I once spent 20 minutes on a dog walk, having done the whole "I'm off then, see you later" hiding behind a hedge listening to the (then) 2 yo say "Oh dear. Mummy's just left me. I just all alone, all by my own. Never mind. I just staying here. Mummy's just gone and I alone now. Never mind. I ok." I kept thinking she'd give in and come running to find me but not a bit of it. Now, I do it in a slightly different way (Right, I'm off to get that cake we were going to have. If you don't want any you can stay here and I'll see you later when I've eaten mine all up) but the threat of being left alone fails miserably so I don't bother.
She's now a 3yo who says "You can just stop talking now Mummy. I don't want to listen any more" when I am telling her off. And "Oh dear Mummy, you're making words up again and I can't understand you" - again in the middle of a telling off.
I go for the approach of avoiding battles if I can (by not having too many rules) but absolutely sticking to the rules we do have, and (after the dog walk) never ever threatening things I can't carry through. She's a stubborn little madam with a will of iron so I pick my battles - she's learning that i do always win but it's a slow process!
DD is the same, Stealth. These days there's nothing she can't comment on or give a better answer to than me <sigh>
What I didn't know was that with the age of 3 came almost constant chatting. DH spent 5 hours on his own on Friday with her; when I met them again he looked at me and said he felt dizzy
Well you'll all be pleased to know we got her clothes on without too much hassle that time
I just had to pin her down while DH forced them on her and DS held her feet
This morning she whipped her nightie off - I said "Why are you taking your nightie off?"
"Because it's MORNING" <eye roll>
"Are you going to put some clothes on then?"
I don't recall exactly what her reply was, but it was the 2yo equivalent of "What, are you STUPID?" (before anyone has a go, she was not cheeky). 3 hours later, she is still rnning around naked. She wants to go and play in the front garden soon, so I am planning to get clothes on her before then
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