to hate the term 'full time mother'?

[MammaTJ]

Seriously, this really gets my goat. I work. I have worked most of my childrens lives. I like the work I do and choose to work nights so I don't miss out on things like sports days etc, just miss out on sleep.
This does not make me a part time mother!! I never stop being a mum and putting my kids first for a second!
Also, their dad 'babysitting' while I work. Does that mean I babysit while he is at work?

[scuzy]

work full time is opposite of full time mum in my eyes, same as sahm. so yabu there.

however HATE when dads say they are babysitting - they are YOUR kids!!!

[RubyFakeNails]

I see your point, but I feel an equal twat saying the likes of "I am a mother all the time, even when I am not with my children"

The babysitting thing is a pisstake though. He is with the children when you are at work he not the hired help is he, but I imagine some people will say yes as he is looking after them he is babysitting.

[scottishmummy]

agree.we all full time mums
I'm not switched off from dc when working

[scuzy]

i simply say i have one ds and work full time. they can take from that what they want.

[Pedigree]

I'm a full time mum, when I work I am caring for my child, I'm getting the money to put food on the table and a roof over his head.

Now the idea of the babysitting dad rings some cathedral bells here. It was a phrase in the like of "I have been babysitting for you for 2 long hours" that detonated the 2 hour conversation were ex and I decided to part with each other.

Poor suffering exH, he is no longer babysitting, he doesn't pay maintenance either so I suppose he still thinks nothing of the job I do as a mother.

[scottishmummy]

work ft is employment
housewife isn't full time work.isn't work

[MammaTJ]

Very well put Pedigree! Better than I managed. I guess what really winds me up is the people who sanctimoniously say 'Oh you work, I am a full time mother.
The fact that I work around my kids (lucky because of the job I do) and have great bosses who have arranged cover when my DS was ill, mean I can be available for them all the time.

[Pedigree]

Oh yes, I never ceased to be a housewife when I became a working mother, I guess that means I have 2 jobs.

It is my impression the same applies to most working mums.

[Winterdyke]

I had full time employment and now I have part time employment, but since I had dc I definitely have a 24 hour job.

Household tasks are still work to me, definitely not pleasurable.

[takingiteasy]

I hate any reference that links being mum to working. its not a job. Its just what we do!

[MammaTJ]

takingiteasy, I am not saying that being a mum is a job. Though I would never say that someone who doesn't go out to work does not work.

[Newyonker]

Fair enough. But could you rewrite your original post so that each of the six references to "work" more accurately refer to "employment" or "paid work"? Pedancy should work both ways, after all, and looking after little children isn't exactly recreation, rest, or leisure time. And can we totally exclude from conversation the idiotic phrase "stay at home mother"? Or at least, specifically limit it to those women (do they exist?) who do "sah" instead of filling the libraries, parks, museums, shops and school gates all day?

Quite seriously, what would be better? "I occupy myself full-time with mothering my children" makes it clear that it is the verb of mothering, ie, caring for one's own children, rather than the relationship of being a mother, which is full-time, but it's quite a mouthful.

The babysitting thing I totally agree with you on. Ridiculous.

[DizzyKipper]

Yes that annoys me too. When I get back from ML I'll most likely be doing sleeping nights as we can't afford childcare, and when I get home I'll then be "on" to look after my child whilst my DH is at work. So I'll be working FT and I'll also be the one responsible for the bulk of the childcare. It annoys me the implication that I'll somehow being doing less just because I choose to still be working and contribute financially to the household.

[RepublicaEuphemia]

I've never heard the expression.

[sadbuttryingmummy]

It Does seem to be the Term thats Used Most often in rl.
A registrar used that Term recently on an offical Form, when i explained what i did. So its the rl Term rather than the Online Term of sahm.

[Bucharest]

YANBU.

Women who work full time/are in paid employment/insert pedantic term as desired and who have children do not stop being mothers the minute they leave the house.

SAHMs are just that. With toddler groups thrown in.

Being a mother, once the initial choice to shag and make a baby has been taken is no longer a lifestyle choice. Working or not working is. Even when it's an economically based one. Therein lies the difference.

Do women really still refer to themselves as housewives? I haven't heard that expression in the UK since the 70s. (obviously almost every woman here is one- south Italy)

[tethersend]

If we have to start saying "Homemaker", I'm emigrating.

[SoupDragon]

Get over it OP. That kind of thing gets your goat, claptrap like ScottishMummy always posts gets mine. [shrug]

[exoticfruits]

There are lots of terms I hate - they are just a minor irritation. I think it better than housewife.

[Dprince]

I dislike fulltime mother. However its just a phrase so I try not to let it bother me. Dads 'babysitting' pisses me off. Dh has ds 2 days a week while I work. I am fed up of being told how 'lucky' for dh to babysit for 2 days while I work. I always point out that ds is his child too, its not babysitting and I am not lucky that dh takes care of his own child. Dh doesn't see it as babysitting and hates when people comment as such. What's worst its usually women who say this type of thing at work. Pisses me right off.

[MothershipG]

YANBU

The trouble is that there is no happy alternative to describe what you do if you are looking after home/family and not doing paid employment. So really the problem is not that you are any less of a Mother but that those of us who don't do paid employment outside the home are struggling to find a description of our role that we are comfortable with. I started a thread on this a while ago that got quite heated.

I, personally, do not like the term Housewife, to me it feels vaguely pejorative while all the alternatives sound frankly ludicrous, Household Manager etc.

Any ideas for an alternative?

[Dprince]

The difference to me is fulltime mum doesn't feel as though people are saying I am only a part time mum. But the dads babysitting seems indicative of societies view of woman and the role they must fill and any help with child care from their partner must be 'a favour' and women should be so grateful.

[suburbandream]

YANBU, we are all full time mums whether we are in paid employment or not. I'm a SAHM and it drives me mad when people ask if I "work". Yes, I do- 24/7 with no pay and no holidays - oh except for when DH babysits of course Grr

[mrsscoob]

I think it is just meant to describe a women who doesn't work and stays at home full time because she has children. I don't think it is meant to mean that anyone who works is a part time mum, no one actually says that, no one describes anyone who works as a part time mum do they?! I wouldn't let it bother you. What I find more annoying is why people are asked and therefore judged on the job they do for a living. It shouldn't have any bearing on a lot of things or what you are like as a person.