AIBU to think the Duggars are not actually raising their millions of children

[workshy]

just watching it because there is nothing else on and the parents are always swaning off and leaving the younger kids with the older girl ones

why have so many kids if you aren't going to look after them -older girls being used as childcare and the younger ones not spending time with parents

the mother actually seemed quite flustered when she had to deal with a little one and then said the 'testing' behaviour was ok because the child was in training -WTAF????

[takingiteasy]

YANBU they creep me out and the older girls seen moulded into mini mothers.

[bobbledunk]

I agree with you, it's not fair for the older girls to be forced into what is effectively teen parenthood, they should be out exploring the world not raising their mothers children.

[bibaleaf]

Totally agree. Weird and the older children are mini parents.

[McHappyPants2012]

I like the duggars, if the older children didn't want to look after the children then as most teens they would rebell

[anonacfr]

How can they rebel when those girls have been trained to be 'helpmeets' to men that will be vetted by their father? They're homeschooled and not allowed to go anywhere or see anyone without parental approval.
They have supervised access to TV and Internet as well.

Michelle Duggar has discussed their system before. The little ones are raised by the older sisters. The boys when they grow up get 'buddied' (as they call it) with one of their older brothers who will teach them 'man' things. And the girls just take on more of the family chores while their mother is busy getting pregnant/doing press/going on TV.

Lovely.

[McHappyPants2012]

So why do kids rebel then

[WhereYouLeftIt]

"I like the duggars, if the older children didn't want to look after the children then as most teens they would rebell"
But they are not "as most teens". They are indoctrinated.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

"So why do kids rebel then"
Because they can see that there are alternatives to how it is for them now. That things don't have to be as they are. But without knowing about alternatives, and what the rest of the world is like, it is very unlikely.

[rhondajean]

Unless you have been brought up with that sort of conditioning, it's hard to understand how it affects you and why you at the way you do.

[McHappyPants2012]

So because you have been bought up a certain way you won't have a child that rebels

[MarySA]

YANBU. When I first watched this I thought that's a good idea having the older ones look after the younger ones. I could have had 20 kids and coped. (Perhaps not!) But it's really a very selfish thing to do. I don't really like or approve of them. The children are indoctrinated and lead a very restricted controlled lifestyle.

[bogeyface]

McHappy, the problem is that as far as the Duggar girls are concerned, there is no other way to live.

Imagine that you were brought up knowing no more than what your parents and their church, told you. Imagine not seeing TV, seeing mates at school because you are homeschooled, not "going round town" of a saturday with your best friend, reading teen magazines, surfing the net, using FB etc.

You wouldnt KNOW that other people lived other kind of lives and that you do actually have a choice.

Thats why they dont rebel, because they have been taught that their way of life is the only way and they have had the fear of the devil put into them so fiercly that anyone who doesnt live their way will go to hell. Proper Hell.

:(

[bogeyface]

Oh and dont forget that their particular brand of Christianity advocates physical punishment for transgressions, including babies from the age of 6 months :( (Google blanket training)

Fear is what keeps them in line. They are the victims of the ultimate abusive relationship bcause not only do their parents abuse them, but a whole TV network does too because its good for ratings.

Makes me sick

[rhondajean]

No, that's not what I'm saying mchapoy, just tht there are other psychological factors involved from normal teenage rebellion.

And I should know.

[rhondajean]

Bogey it's more web than tht - you can know all tht goes on, but your told its evil and means death.

[rhondajean]

Tut.

It's more even than that.

Sorry.

[sashh]

I just had to google who you were talking about. Strange.

[CupsofTeaAndHandfulsOfCake]

Its like the film 'The Village'.
They don't know any different.
However I don't think they are terrible parents, the children are well cared for.
Sadly there are some very bad parents.

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

The older children looking after younger ones used to be common place though didn't it?
My parents had a friend who was one of 13 children (he was born in 1920s) his 2 older sisters were responsible for keeping him clean and out of trouble. (They made sure he did because they got a rollicking when he did)

[bogeyface]

Yes it did 70, but thats the point used to be

In the 30's my grandma and her sister had to have their twin baby brothers in bed with them (one sister and one twin per single bed). My grandma didnt believe in rubber pants so every night, regardless of school or work the next day, my young teen grandma and great aunt had to to get the boys up when they had wet, change the boys, change themselves, change the beds, put the washing to soak and then try to get back to sleep.

If you heard a 13 year old had to do that now with her baby brother whilst the parents slept, wouldnt you involve the authorities? Just because it used to happen doesnt make it right.

And thats sidestepping the fact that the Duggars dont handwash their laundry and could afford outside help on their massive income.

[bogeyface]

Sorry, my great grandma didnt believe in rubber pants.

[bogeyface]

How to train a child not to touch. The Duggars advocate this method


There is much satisfaction in training up a child. It is easy and challenging. When my children were able to crawl (in the case of one, roll) around the room, I set up training sessions.

Try it yourself. Place an appealing object where they can reach it, maybe in a "No-no" corner or on an apple juice table (That's where the coffee table once sat). When they spy it and make a dive for it, in a calm voice say, "No, don't touch it." They will already be familiar with the "No," so they will pause, look at you in wonder and then turn around and grab it. Switch their hand once and simultaneously say, "No." Remember, you are not disciplining, you are training. One spat with a little switch is enough. They will again pull back their hand and consider the relationship between the object, their desire, the command and the little reinforcing pain. It may take several times, but if you are consistent, they will learn to consistently obey, even in your absence.

taken from <a class="break-all" href="http://web.archive.org/web/20081119041414/www.achristianhome.org/to_train_up_a_child.htm" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20081119041414/www.achristianhome.org/to_train_up_a_child.htm its heartbreaking, I warn you :(

[McHappyPants2012]

But my point is that any child can rebel, from all walks of life.

[bogeyface]

OBEDIENCE TRAINING--BITING BABIES
One particularly painful experience of nursing mothers is the biting baby. My wife did not waste time finding a cure. When the baby bit, she pulled hair (an alternative has to be sought for baldheaded babies). Understand, the baby is not being punished, just conditioned. A baby learns not to stick his finger in his eyes or bite his tongue through the negative associations accompanying it. It requires no understanding or reasoning. Somewhere in the brain that information is unconsciously stored. After two or three times of biting, with the accompanying head hurting, the child programs that information away for his own comfort. The biting habit is cured before it starts. This is not discipline. It is obedience training.