To be annoyed DH wants to go on a Stag do to Thailand

[FedupwithDisney]

My DH has just announced that one of his best mates (was DH's Best Man) is having his Stag do in Thailand for a week later this year and he will be going.

I am pretty annoyed. Every time I ask him to book time off work to do something as a family I get "it's not a good time at work" "I'm too busy" etc. We do have some family holiday time booked, but it's been a battle to get him to do it. He hasn't even taken all his Paternity leave that he is entitled to as work is "so busy" (DD2 is 12 weeks old). He does have a good job and I understand the pressures but how come he can suddenly take off a week for this?

If he goes I will be at home with a 3yo and a 8 mo. Guess I'll cope, I don't see him much in the week as it is, but I'm annoyed that he'll be away having a ball and I'll be dealing with the kids on my own for a week.

I'm also annoyed about the money. Surely it will cost loads. We're comfortable, but certainly not rolling in it. He gets a bonus in August which he's probably planning on using but I can think of much better things we could spend this money on like trips for the DC's and stuff for the house.

AIBU to be annoyed? He knows I'm pissed off and is sucking up to me big time, making the dinner and tidying up!

[pointythings]

I'd be booking a week away of my own, with you leaving him with the DCs, to be honest.

[McHappyPants2012]

Book your own little hoilday :)

[Mrsjay]

WOW i had a thread a few weeks ago about spain and a stag do I was a bit miffed , but THAILAND jeez what happened to nipping down the pub eh , yanbu , I spose its his mates DO but ,,,,

[knowitallstrikesagain]

YANBU. I would not begrudge my DH a week away, no matter how old the kids (yes, you will cope fine) as long as there was the possibility of me doing the same at some point. But any major costs should be agreed on.

Get him to suck up to you by taking the rest of his paternity leave and letting you go to a spa. If he can't afford this time off, I would be asking him to take it as it is necessary and only go to Thailand for 3 days. Bet he finds the time.

[Shakey1500]

Same as pointythngs. That would be me saying a breezy "fine, enjoy" then straight onto the pc to book a week away for me.

[Calamityboo]

YANBU, book your own time away with the girls, and make sure he watches the Hangover part 2 befre he goes!

[Mrsjay]

and im still not sure how much Dhs jolly to spain is costing he keeps forgetting to ask but he is away in six week

[Shelby2010]

I think I'd be more than annoyed - absolutely livid to start with!

Might 'accidentally' misunderstand the arrangements though and start planning it as a lovely family holiday, because of course he couldn't have meant that he was going without you!

[AmberLeaf]

Yep..what ArtexMonkey said.

[DialMforMummy]

YANBU. I'd go mental! Thailand? Had the world gone mad? With 2 LO, had he no better place to spend his money (and his time)?
What's more, am not sure I'd like my OH int country famous for sexual tourism.

[TheBurderer]

"He does have a good job and I understand the pressures but how come he can suddenly take off a week for this?"

Ask him this. If he won't take time off (unless massively pressured) to spend with his family despite repeated requests then it's pretty hurtful to suddenly jump at this opportunity. Why should be able to get away with this double standard?

[Firawla]

yanbu i would be annoyed especially about the cost, it sounds like it would be loads to go to thailand and that is quite selfish when he cant find time to spend for family, to suddenly spend so much time and money on this.
to me a week away would be fine normally (not to thailand maybe something cheaper! unless for business) but for your dh to say he cant even take paternity leave, then to go and do this, is a bit much!
tbh its a bit much for the groom to arrange such an expensive stag do - i dont think that is right

[Aboutlastnight]

yuck, yuck yuck

If DP suggested this, my response would be we all go or nobody goes. Thailand's a proper holiday not a weekend in skeggy FGS

[Sausagedog27]

I'd be mega annoyed- would/could you do the same- no, because your part of a family and have commitments. It's not as if you were given chance to discuss. Thailand is a long long way away, flights will cost, and he should grow up! Grrrr! Am very annoyed on your behalf.

[LesAnimaux]

Good Lord, first Amsterdam, and now Thailand.

I would be cross.

[AmberLeaf]

Whatever happened to a pub crawl and a stripper

Now its a week in Thailand and prostitutes

[RosieBooBoo]

I can't explain it, but it just feels like a stag do in Thailand is really seedy!?! Agree that you should have your own week away. My DP is going to Dublin for a stag do and i've booked a weekend away with my friends a few weeks after that.

[maras2]

He's got to be joking.If not OMG. you are married to the worst man that I've ever heard of.Thailand!!!.Only one reason that 'Stags' go there and it's not the lovely beaches.

[FedupwithDisney]

Hadn't even thought about the whole seedy thing, now I'm even more annoyed.
It seems like such an extravagant thing to do (DH had a night in Bournemouth).

[lolajane2009]

lol yuk yuk yuk. yanbu.

[FreudianSlipper]

thailand is such a wonderful country to go on holiday to, you should all be going

it is not such a wonderful place for a group of men on a stag do you know what they will be up to even if not directly involved it is very very seedy and it makes amsterdam look all like a village tea party

[Bue]

Thailand?! My first thought was, wow the groom must really think a lot of himself to expect people to go all the way to Asia to "celebrate" him. Now reading through the thread, unfortunately I am also thinking sex tourism :( This sounds really, really dodgy.

[letseatgrandma]

Eww, that's a bit grim plus rather excessive! My DH had a night at the pub-what's wrong with that!?

If he can't find the time to take a week off to do family things, he's unlikely to take a week off to look after the kids and let you go away for a week with your friends, is he? It all sounds rather one-sided to me.