vegan mum at kids party was rude?

(400 Posts)
DoozerDrift Sun 15-Apr-12 20:42:24

Took DS to a young child's birthday party at soft play today, and there was a vegan mum with her DC there. When it came to cake time, there was no vegan cake, so the mum gave her DC a chocolate lollipop out of her bag.

OK, her DC seemed happy with the situation and asked to hosts to check what was and wasn't vegan. So no problem there I don't think (although I'll bet my bottom dollar they'll rebel and live on bacon sandwiches when they're old enough to ignore their mum!) grin

BUT AIBU to think that taking separate treats to a party is A) rude to the hosts and B) unfair to the other children at the party who might prefer what the vegan DC are eating?

YABU! She was being polite. She didn't expect you to have provided "special" food, but also didn't want her child to miss out, so brought her own.

Floggingmolly Sat 23-Mar-13 20:29:44

It would have better if she could have replaced like with like; rather than having kids wondering why they couldn't have a lollipop? She must have known the cake would be a problem.

Floggingmolly Sat 23-Mar-13 20:30:46

Oh God, it's a zombie blush

Maryz Sat 23-Mar-13 20:43:30

O Fuckit.

I thought Sue was back angry

tigerdriverII Sat 23-Mar-13 21:02:14

Bugger. Just read pretty much all of it and then saw how old it was. Anyway, YABU fwiw. Half an hour of my life I won't get back.

jellybeans Sat 23-Mar-13 22:04:50

YABU what about coeliac kids, nut allergy kids etc too?

OHforDUCKScake Sat 23-Mar-13 22:23:25

I actually thought this thread happened just here and now. Saw a post by Strandedbear and thought oh strandedbear is back!

Then saw the date.

LilQueenie Sun 24-Mar-13 00:30:04

YABU and 'inflicting' veganism on a chlid...hmm

My child is vegetarian. She doesnt go without I just supply an alternative. Its also healthier when taught to read the labels. I dont want my kid putting crap into her body just because "everyone else does it"

theodorakisses Sun 24-Mar-13 06:33:00

At least she took something for them. It is so hard, I want to scream "just give them the fucking cake" but it's none of my business how other people choose to bring up their child. I wouldn't feel the same if were a Muslim and pork so keep my trap shut and try to make it as unimportant as possible.

chocoholic73 Fri 10-May-13 13:19:40

LilQueenie, well put.

My little one is vegan; he has a fabulous diet, is not a fussy eater, simply adores food and I know his diet comprises good quality and highly nutritious food. What's more, I am not feeding him some poor animal that has been raised in horrific conditions and then killed for its flesh. For me, the matters, to other parents it doesn't. We have different views.

Any one who sees veggie or vegan kids as being somehow oppressed by their parents needs to acquire a decent, tolerant and inclusive attitude to life. To put meat, fish, eggs and milk in a babies bowl is also 'imposing' should we go down that line of argument.

Any decent parent who has a child with a 'different' diet will take, food or snacks to a party. I always take food out with me...even if we're just out and about in town, catching up with friends for a coffee, and the lovely thing is my son always shares his vegan food with his friends.

This might be an old thread, but I nevertheless feel like commenting smile

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Fri 10-May-13 13:24:33

zombie thread <yawn>

TheSlug Fri 10-May-13 16:44:18

me too, fuzzy Grr

chocoholic73 Fri 10-May-13 17:52:41

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes, some of us may still feel like commenting, if that isn't your thing then fine, let the rest of us comment without facing rude comments like 'yawn' !

gordyslovesheep Fri 10-May-13 17:54:48

people who search for threads that they can be professionally offended by ...that

Dancergirl Fri 10-May-13 18:03:07

I know it's an old thread but chocoholic why would eggs laid by free range chickens be unacceptable to you? I hope you don't mind me asking, I am genuinely interested.

TheSlug Mon 13-May-13 14:31:32

dancer I'm not a Vegan but a veggie, I believe that most vegans' argument against eggs is similar to the argument against milk, male chicks are killed (often put through a mincing machine, horrific) because they are of no value. x

MammaTJ Mon 13-May-13 14:53:52

I do not understand why you would have thought it rude. They have a diet they are happy with, whether the child rebels and eats bacon butties later on or not. hmm

They did not inconvience the hostess at all by demanding special food.

They did not have an upset child because everyone else had cake and they had nothing.

Mum had thoughtfully dealt with what could have been a difficult situation.

Why on earth would you think that rude?

IrritatingInfinity Mon 13-May-13 15:10:27

Fair Play, the OP has acknowledged that she was BU. smile

Which is good because she was being massively U grin and decidedly 'odder' than vegan Mum.

IrritatingInfinity Mon 13-May-13 15:12:03

Oh, BUGGER, the ZOMBIE got me.

Gggrrrrrr I must, must read threads properly. angry (with myslf$

Tau Mon 13-May-13 16:01:07

YABVU.
This mum gives her child a treat that she can eat if there are no vegan options.
She could also have demanded that the party organizers provide vegan food.
She could also have just left her child with no treats at the party, while others were munching away.
She could have kept her child away from a party where there are no treats that she can eat.

Would you have approved of any of those options? I guess not. My guess is that you reckon the mum should have followed this option: Forget all about being vegan and let the child eat everything at the party. If that is what you think she should have done, then you are suggesting that this mother and her child can only be polite if they live according to YOUR world views. How dare they have different ideas from you?

Seems to me that you are the one being rude!

Zalen Mon 13-May-13 16:20:17

Just seen how old this thread is but since I've read the whole thing I'm going to have my say anyway.

All those saying that 'It's not that they can't eat meat, it's that their parents choose not to eat meat'

In that case I assume that if you see a child whose families religious beliefs do not allow the eating of certain meats etc you would still expect them to eat whatever they were given at a party. After all it's not that they can't eat meat, their bodies are perfectly capable of metabolising meat, their parents simply choose not to because of their religious beliefs.

I fail to see how ethical beliefs are in any way less worthy of respect than religious ones.

Tau Mon 13-May-13 16:20:29

And about 'inflicting' veganism on a child:

With just as much validity you can claim you are inflicting meat and dairy foods upon your child. Or are they fully aware of the moral implications, like the horrendous suffering that the cute piggies and cows and calves and baby lambs go through to provide your meat and milk?

When your child is very young, you decide what they eat.
My view is that if a child wishes to eat meat, they can choose to do so when they are old enough to understand where it comes from and how it is produced, so they can make an informed choice.

loofet Mon 13-May-13 16:42:29

I know it's a 'zombie thread', just wanted to answer q about why vegans don't eat 'free range' eggs.

Free range doesn't actually mean free range. Free range to me is running around a field, truly free. But what they mean by free range is cramming hundreds into a big shed instead of seperating them into little cages. They have to trample all over one another and their own feces, urine and worst still dead chickens. Chickens are usually very clean creatures so this goes against their nature. Disease is rife because of the conditions they live in and they often die agonising deaths. Also they are killed when their egg production declines and yes as theslug said male chicks are violently killed, some are suffocated in a bag because they're deemed useless. Hth smile

OP was bu aswell but I think that was gathered a year ago wink

Tau Mon 13-May-13 18:23:02

Ahhh, so a zombie thread is a very old thread that has been brought back. I see. Learning something new every day.

And Loofet, true about the eggs. I do eat the occasional egg though. They are goose eggs from geese who are kept as cherished spoiled pets by someone who lives near us. ;-) I have no moral issues with that.
VERY large eggs though!

Joiningthegang Mon 13-May-13 18:46:26

Yabu
My son was dairy intolerant so would take him alternatives as he usually couldn't eat much - much more rude to make a fuss and demand food for my child's intolerances

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