could I be ASD???

[samesamebutdifferent]

another thread in AIBU triggered a possible light-bulb moment for me yesterday

I am 39 years old and always felt a bit 'different'; socially awkward and I always seem to have an alternative view on a given subject, than the majority.

Ive done a few of the online 'tests' and have come back as not ASD/ autistic. I have always had friends and I dont lack empathy; I have more empathy than others usually and can always see 'the other point of view', often too a fault. This is more apparent with people/situations that I am not close to e.g. news items. With personal relationships, although I am empathetic, I have less symapthy and patience.

My mind is very logical but I dont obsess about details

I remember discussing a subject with my parents one time and my mum got irrate and said, that I was just like my father-why did we always have to be different to everyone else? At the same time, we both replied in rather distressed tones that we didnt WANT to be different to everyone else. That conversation has always stuck in my head and bothered me slightly.

Im posting here rather than the SN section as I want to hear from adults that have ASD/ autism and what their experiences are; not necessarily from the parents perspective

Im ignorant of ASD/ autism/ aspergers so please excuse me if I use inappropriate terms etc

I have name changed for this

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Doesn't sound like it to me, maybe traits, which we all have?

Do you have any sensory foibles/hypersensitivities?

[WibblyBibble]

Most of the recent research suggests that people with ASD have sympathy (I think they call it 'affective empathy') but not the ability to imagine other people's situation (called 'cognitive empathy' iirc?). You seem like you're describing the opposite tbh, I'm not going to get in to what that's diagnosed as because people find it offensive even though it is just a disorder which you can't help either. However if you have functional problems in normal life e.g. the issues you describe cause you problems in occupational function or relationships then it might be sensible to seek a diagnosis of something so you can get help. If you don't have functional problems then tbh it's pointless.

[samesamebutdifferent]

i dont have any extreme or specific foibles fanjo but dont like noise or 'busyness' I like to retreat to my home. I enjoy solitude and have often wondered at friends that 'need' to socialise. My 40th birthday is approaching- I dont want to celebrate with other people in any way

wibbly i dont think I have functional problem- but it would be nice to understand myself in this respect. I feel bewildered a lot. Please tell me what that is diagnosed as - i mean having cognitive empathy but not affective empathy? PM me if you want to avoid confrontation?

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

I do think we all have traits...i have hypersensitive hearing and really like routine but am AFAIK NT.

[samesamebutdifferent]

a number of different people have told me that I am fascinated by the strangest things

[Kladdkaka]

Have you done the AQ test? My specialist says it's pretty accurate. If it indicates strongly yes or no, then it's most likely correct. Only if you fall somewhere in the middle does it require further investigation.

[DinahMoHum]

I dont think youre autistic from what youve said.
Weve nearly all of us got autistic traits, but a few autistic traits does not an autistic person make.
I have 2 sons with ASD and i do notice traits in myself, but im not autistic. I have a lot of the sensory issues, but im very empathic etc and in touch with mine and other peoples feelings.

[Kladdkaka]

AQ test for those who want it. (I also have links to all the other tests which were done as part of my assessement if anyone wants those too)

[samesamebutdifferent]

thanks kladdkaka I just did it and scored 31. So, nearly won!
I would be interested in the other tests

Dinah yes, 'with autistic traits' is probably how I feel about myself

[WandaDoff]

I got 37 on that. Apparently very high.

Which doesn't surprise me in the slightest. There is a very high incindence of ASD in my family.

[Kladdkaka]

McClean Screening Instrument - screening for bipolar

HADS Scale - screening for depression and anxiety

Yale Brown Test - screening for obsessiveness

EQ Test - goes hand in hand with the AQ test

RAADS - used as a 'second opinion' to the AQ and EQ tests

finally ASSQ Test - answers based on before you were 12 (shows issues were always there)

[VJayazzle]

I scored 32 on that test, and often regocnise my ds (ASD) doing things that I did as a kid, and still do. My dh says ds1 is just like me! But as far as I know I'm NT. It's interesting, I have good days and bad days where social situations are ok or I find really difficult.

[VJayazzle]

The AQ test I was talking about.

[Flightty]

Kladd, thanks for the links. I did the AQ a couple of years ago and scored 47. I did it again this year and got 47 again.

[Kladdkaka]

I scored 38 on the AQ and have a diagnosis. I have days where I'm 'normal' and others when I'm so autistic it's scary. Often related to how I've slept the night before. I'm more autistic in the mornings whereas my husband becomes more autistic throughout the day.

[Kladdkaka]

I also scored extremely high for anxiety and obsessiveness. The doctor said that normally this would require some sort of intervention but given the ASD diagnosis, it was fairly normal.

[Flightty]

I asked my GP about getting a diagnosis, but he just looked cross and said Autism is a 'children's disease.' wanker

So I haven't bothered. I'm glad you have got somewhere with it.

[samesamebutdifferent]

its really interesting that yous all have 'normal' days.
I feel like that. And some days I feel really like a misfit

Can anyone tell me their experience of feeling autistic?

If its too personal-ignore me and please accept apologies

[wandawings]

Marking my place as I think the penny just dropped.

[Flightty]

I think a lot of adults have learned such good coping strategies that they almost seem normal to a lot of people.

even DP says I am 'different' - I think differently, is what he says. But that's alright with him, he still seems to like me.

I spent my life waiting for someone to say I was totally normal, and then I find someone who actually loves me and he says I'm not. There you go. I guess I have to accept it at some point.

[samesamebutdifferent]

blinking 'eck- i scored 25 on the depression/anxiety test

[Kladdkaka]

SameSame, I don't feel autistic. I feel normal. Because being autistic is my version of normal. For me part of receiving my diagnosis was beginning to realise that my version of normal is somewhat squiffy.

eg Prior to diagnosis I would have said I have no sensory issues. OK I admit, I cut all the labels out of my clothes but that's because they itch, not because I have a sensory problem. Anyone would do the same, right? And yes, all my clothes are made of the same type of material but again, that's not a sensory issue, it's because other materials feel funny. And sunscreen was invented by the devil.

[TroublesomeEx]

Interesting.

I scored 36. I always think there's a fine line between slightly/definitely on these Likert scales. I find it really difficult to answer!

I don't consider that I have ASD/Aspergers, but it comes as no surprise that I might have traits.

I think my mum has strong traits too.

As does my brother.

And my son.

My husband and daughter don't.

But that's just individual differences between people and why it's a spectrum disorder. Most people show some traits.

[Kladdkaka]

Flightty I had to emigrate to get a diagnosis. Prior to that I was just palmed off with ever increasing strengths of anti-depressants which were as effective as tic-tacs.

[Flightty]

I don't think I ever feel normal, but that's because other people continually give me indications that I now recognise mean I am not.

It's not much fun.

When there are moments of feeling like I fit in, it's blissful, but short lived and usually I am very much aware that it will be short lived...so I rarely pursue friendships, knowing it's likely at some stage sooner rather than later, the friend will give me that look and stop calling.

And yet, I don't know what I do to cause this. As Kladd says it seems like I do what's normal but I know, somehow, it ain't.