To expect a new boyfriend to get back to me within 24 hours?

[equinox]

I was wondering if I am BU to expect a new bloke to get back to me within 24 hours if I have a health problem??

I went to the nurse at the surgery for a BP check it was 180 over 110 which is obviously shockingly high. I came home and emailed him about it he did not mention it whatsoever this was last Wednesday it was only Saturday he emailed me to say he had an overwhelming need to take care of me???

Am I being over the top to expect him to mention it speficially and sooner?

Why are men always on a time delay?

I have only known him since New Years Eve we met online on pof and I went down to his for 4 days in the half-term. He lives in London and I live up in the east midlands so we can only meet up monthly owing to petrol/schedule/childcare issues etc.

He has had a severe tooth crisis in that his top teeth were all knocked out last summer and he has had several dental treatments in January/February to see to the preparatory treatment prior to his new false ones going in permanently (I think they drill them in I am not entirely sure but they won't be ones you put in a glass of water at night lol!!). I have given him buckets of support over it I couldn't be nicer.

Am I overreacting?

The BP is a particularly touchy issue as both my parents are dead they both died of stroke-related problems and I am an only child.

Any thoughts you fine ladies out there I would so appreciate it??

Thanks!

[Nyac]

How do you normally keep in touch? Do you phone each other.

If he's had sex with you, then yes he should be more caring of your well being.

"we met online"

This may be your problem. Overwhelming need to take care of you sounds like a line. Who says stuff like that?

Sorry you've had bad medical news.

[FabbyChic]

Is he having implants? they put in steel bases and then screw the teeth in, it costs a lot, and he will have to learn to talk and eat again sometimes the teeth don't take and the gums turn black and they have to be removed.

If I had told a new bf that I was sick Id have expected a response within a few hours.

Why don't you text him, why email?

[squeakytoy]

why not pick up the phone and speak to him?

[PurplePidjin]

By that stage in a relationship I would expect most contact to be face to face or by phone tbh. You've known each other for two months, spent a significant amount of time together and i assume you've discussed where you see the relationship heading.

Thinking back to that stage in dp and my relationship (also online and long distance although no dc involved) we were texting daily, speaking daily, visiting weekly and had discussed the eventual possibility of moving in together. We'd met each other's close family including his young niece and nephew - took them swimming on our 3rd date which was the morning after the second because his family wouldn't let me drive home due to snow

[crystalglasses]

Does he understand the implications of such a high blood pressure reading? Not everyone is au fait with serious medical conditions

[PurplePidjin]

Oh and our first phone conversation was triggered by him being made redundant. We'd been chatting for a couple of weeks and hadn't met in person at that stage. So no, YANBU to expect a phone call (unless as tabby said he can't actually talk due to the teeth, but I'd expect to know that already)

[hatesponge]

It's odd you sent him an email. I don't tend to phone people but I would have sent a text. Has he even seen the email? I sometimes go 2-3 days without checking mine.

[equinox]

Hello again ladies

Thank you so much for the response. I am so glad it isn't me being unreasonable then!

We email daily and and do yahoo chat daily too. So sending a text isn't always the usual daily medium although we may do that too.

We invariably skype three times a week.

I am so put off that I have not been able to accept a skype chat this morning I told him in an email yesterday that I could not face talking to him.

I have been put off calling him direct as so many times he has not been able to pick it up and this must be about 3 times in 5 on the average ever since we first chatted. The 2 times out of 5 that he DOES pick up the phone he is invariably up to his eyes in it and can't stay on or he is in a crowded room full of friends/many other people.

I sent him a really shirty email today about how disappointed I was that he did not clock on about the blood pressure issue. Then I thought this was a bit terse so I sent one back to say I am not up to speaking and that we should defer any skype chat until next weekend.

I would just like to point out that I am very used to dating men in London as when I was down there over the years they invariably take a day or two to get back to you quite a lot even after seeing them a few months and this does not tend to improve until say after the 6 month mark.

I would also like to point out that he could not get it up during our four days today owing to nerves as he hasn't been on a date for 6 years as his last long term relationship the poor lady died and they were together 16 years.

Is he just not au fait with how to please a woman?

When I was down there it was as if he was treating me like a mate he would sit on his bachelor chair and had to be reminded to get off it and sit next to me on the settee however by the end of the four days he had become much better at that. And yet Thursday morning on the yahoo chat he said he is falling in love with me and had to get used to the idea - oh my God you could not make this up??!!

I have to say that London men are not at all unlike this it is all flooding back now what they are like and they take months and months to improve!

Other times he will mobile me straight back or email me straight back. It all depends.

London men aargh! However I can't take any other type I am just stuck with that type as I prefer the large city outlook.

Any other thoughts to all you fine ladies esp. those used to London men??

Thank you so much!

[Nyac]

Depends whether the other woman he's having a relationship with is around or not maybe whether he picks up the phone or not. You're making an awful lot of excuses for his unavailability.

Why would you even want to treat a man as a work in progress who you're trying to improve?

[PurplePidjin]

Love is not that much hard work.

He's not making time for you.

He isn't ready for a relationship.

He sounds like he's playing games.

Why are you bothering?

[AbbyAbsinthe]

Come on now, don't be naive. He's just not that into you I'm afraid. If he was, he would phone you. The rest of it is irrelevant. Or he's with someone else.

[SquidgyBiscuits]

Well I'd probably expect that if someone had a serious medical problem, they would pick the phone up and tell me about it, not send me an email about it.

Less than 2 months isn't really serious, especially when if you meet up once a month, you've actually met up once or twice???

[Nancy66]

Jesus Christ you sound insane - i expect he is running for the hills.

[fuckityfuckfuckfuck]

Bloody hell, no wonder he's not replied. You sound unhinged woman. You don't know each other at all less than 2 months in, long distance at that. Keep your search a bit closer to home. WHat do you expect him to do?? It's not like he can physically come and help you, and tbh high blood pressure isn't a dire medical emergency.

[Lueji]

Tbh, I wouldn't have considered high blood pressure as a serious illness.

Not sure why you expected him to contact you that soon.

However, if you keep in regular contact it is odd that he has kept away after that.

[higgle]

It sounds a very strange relationship to me where you don't talk rather than text or email. You have blown it now anyway by gettin arsey about this - and you are playing games.

[SarahDoctorIndyHouse]

Two things:

First:

I was discovered tp have really high blood pressure about eught years ago. The right medication once a day keeps it totally under control, so whilst it should be taken seriously, it really should not have anyone haring to be besde you straight away, ime.


Second:

What's with the London guys phobia?? Maybe he has picked up on it? But if on the one hand you can't stand London guys but on the other, you also can't stand any other type, the words rock and hard place, your are stuck between come to mind.


Take care

[Sapphirefling]

Wow. Just wow.
Am not sure if there is a future in this for you.
Have you had many long term relationships?

[MairyHinge]

Agree with Nancy66.
WTAF is a " london" man?
My hubby was born in Isleworth, but he has never behaved quite as strangely as either of you.
I'm a northerner, and so is he now, by default, but I've never referred to him as a London man!

[hatesponge]

I am a bit too.

There's no such thing as a London man. Men, irrespective of geographical location, are either interested or not, and this guy seems to fairly clearly fall into the latter category.

Frankly though given that you've had no sex at a stage when you should be shagging like rabbits and you have to tell him how to behave, he really doesn't sound like much of a loss. Honestly even if he looked like Bradley Cooper I'm not sure I could be arsed to bother with him.

[ImperialBlether]

Sorry, OP, but I think you both sound a bit strange!

[TrinityRhino]

there are no such thing as london men

and men getting better at sitting next to you on the sofa

he sounds a bit of a wank tbh

[solidgoldbrass]

You sound nuts, sorry. He doesn;t have a duty to drop everything for you, you've only seen each other a couple of times. He's probably already decided that you are a demanding bunny boiler and he's trying to pull away tactfully.

[EdithWeston]

In the "new bloke" stage you are auditioning him to see if he is good enough to let into a more significant place in your life.

Looks as if you think this one's a no.

No need to dress it up with wider theories of men. You want someone who will be kind when you are ill. You don't think he is. Now, are you going to drop your standards, or drop him?

[LaBoccaDellaVerita]

What's with all the 'fine ladies' stuff? Honestly - you DO sound completely bonkers. Or a fraud. Undecided at the moment.