Gah! Bloody sodding school!

[D0oinMeCleanin]

Dd1 informs me this morning she is doing gardening tis morning and needs suitable footwear. "Where was your letter?" I wail. She assures me there was no letter and they were only told yesterday. A phone call to the school confirms there was indeed no letter.

Now with a normal child this would not be a problem. You could just go into their wardrobe and get their wellies out, yes? But dd1 is not a normal child. She refuses to wear wellies, trainers, boots other than suede, faux fur lined fuggs, tracksuits or joggers, hoodies and many other things. Basically if it's not skinny jeans and fuggs forget about it, she ain't wearing it.

I have had several last minute requests from the school recently asking for tracksuits and trainers, sensible footwear etc. each time I have phoned to explain that dd1 does not have these things to hand because she refuses to wear them so in future we need notice to go and buy them.

So after having to run to town and back with money I do not have to buy wellies she will not wear, so she can sulk at the side of the allotment about having to wear wellies, while her friends have fun WIBU to write to the school and request that we have at least 2 weeks notice if they need dd1 have anything other than the aforemention skinny jeans, stupidly expensive jumpers and fuggs? We will need 1 day to go and buy the things and 13 days to convince dd1 that you cannot actually die of embarrassment

Well AIBU? AM I?

[Sevenfold]

how old is she?

[IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll]

Two days would be ore realistic than two weeks. Sometimes these things are last minute, impromptu ideas that just come up.

Your dd should have Welles though. My two only ever wear them when it snows, but they still have to have them for those times. I just buy cheap supermarket ones.

[WilsonFrickett]

You're not really going to run to town to buy her a pair of wellies are you?

[D0oinMeCleanin]

8 going 18. She has recently conceeded that if I can find a picture of Hannah Montana, Selina Gomez, Katy Perry, Rihanna, HRH Cheryl Cole et al (she is not permitted to dress like Rihanna) wearing a jogging suit then she might consider wearing one, but only if it is identical to the one they are wearing

[WilsonFrickett]

I would probably change your thread title to 'Gah, bloody sodding DD' tbh. It's not the school's fault she's a princess, is it?

[ExitPursuedByaBear]

I think you need to exert a bit of parental influence tbh. Letting an 8 year old dictate what she will and will not wear sounds a bit, well, indulgent.

[aldiwhore]

I'm all for allowing my 8 year old to choose his own clothes, and be comfortable, but there are times when he has to suck it up and wear appropriate clothes for the job in hand.

Time to get tough, if your dd is walking (in her fuggs) all over you at 8, its going to get a whole lot worse.

Carrier bags on her feet or wellies, no fuckingfuggs... her choice.

Sorry YABU. (Please let it be a wind up)

[mellowcat]

Wow 8 going on 18 blimey just blimey

As an aside...I love your use of 'Gah'! Infinitely better than the Grrrrrr so many in these parts seem to prefer - makes me shudder!

[KatAndKit]

YABU to allow an 8 year old to decide what she will and won't wear and to be so influenced by what celebs are wearing. I presume the school don't expect their gardening activity to be a fashion show.

[valiumredhead]

You are pandering to her every whim by the sounds of it. She IS a 'normal' child but just one that has been allowed to get away with murder by the sounds of it.

[SuePurblybilt]

I see Gah way more that Grrr on here, mellowcat. Maybe I hang out on rantier threads .

YANBU about the notice period/lack of letter or note in homework book. But your attitude to your DD's clothing and her choices sounds a bit odd. I am all for letting children choose their clothes and personal style within reason but it sounds as if she's running the show entirely.

[Flisspaps]

Buy her a pair of cheap trainers, a pair of cheap wellies, a tracksuit and whatever else she might need.

Send her into school with them in her bag if she refuses to wear them, if she won't put them on there, then she's going to look completely bonkers in front of her friends because she'll miss out on whatever activity is going on.

[D0oinMeCleanin]

Unfortunately it is not a wind up. I gave up trying to force her to wear things does not like years ago. Since then she has gotten worse. I shouldn't have given up, but it's done now. and I don't know how how to change it.

Dressing her for anything specific is a nightmare. The tantrums are spectacular. She will quite simply refuse to wear it. It does not matter what punishments or sanctions are threatened or carried out. If she does not like it, she is not wearing it. The end.

She doesn't trawl MTV looking for stars to copy or anything, in most other ways she is a normal 8yo and plays, runs, climbs trees etc. but she does notice celebs and does pay attention to what they wear. She has her own style, not really emulated from anyone, but she pays attention what is in her words "fashion" joggers and trainers are not fashion. I tried to convince her that Converse were fashion recently, she conceeded that yes it was, but no, she did not like them and was not a sheep so would not be wearing them just becasue everyone else is [head/desk]

[aldiwhore]

Agree also with wilson GAH, BLOODY SODDING CHILD AND STUPID ME would have been a better title.

First year of juniors = less paperwork from school, its annoying BUT its all about teaching the children some responsibility. Yes its a PITA, yes, things tend to happen at the last minute, but as my 8yr old has found out, if he doesn't give me notice (at least the night before) then he misses out. (We've bought him a diary, it works!).

[ChickensHaveNoLips]

It does get right on my bosoms when the school spring something on me with a days notice, tbh. But it is also a bit ridiculous that your 8 year old DD is dictating her wardrobe to this extent. She'd have to wear trainers if that's all she had

[valiumredhead]

Send her to school with nothing then and let them deal with her.

YABVU if you think it's too late to change her behaviour. Start with changing how you deal with her for starters. She is EIGHT! I am truly shocked.

[ExitPursuedByaBear]

How does she climb trees in fuggs?

And they are crap for her feet as well.

[BoffinMum]

She bloody well needs reminding who is in charge. Ignore all tantrums. This is ridiculous. if the adults tell her to wear wellies and do gardening, then she should wear wellies and do gardening.

Kit her out with what is normally expected for an 8-year-old, take the other impractical stuff away, and start implementing 1-2-3 Magic. Also get her outdoors more, doing muddy things at the weekends.

Do you want me to come over and give her a talking to?

[D0oinMeCleanin]

She has a pair of converse style shoes, I made her wear them on a dog walk recently. She took them off and went barefoot instead. That is preferable to wearing trainers.

She is very headstrong about what she wears. She always has been. I defy anyone to get dd1 to wear something she does not like.

Dd2 is an angel and would put a tatty sack on if you asked her to.

[AwkwardMary]

Doin my DD is 7 and like yours she won't wear wellies etc...she's excrutiatingly self consious and that's where this is coming from imo...the others all wear wellies etc so I can only think that my DD is worried she looks a mess....I am tackling this by MAKING her do extra curricular classes....she s getting YANkED out of her princessy comfort zone whether she likes it or not.

I advise you to do the same....mine is getting dragged to drama club in a months time....and she has begun swimming and I am looking to make her go to brownies asap....she's very lazy and likes to wtch tv and not challenge herself....I think it's all entwined.