Mumsnet Talk

Ok, so I read through the mumsnet boards even though I'm not a mum but this is my first post. I'm in a situation with my mum, so I was wondering who you thought was being U? Probably me but I thought I'd put it on here to make it definite and so my mum can clearly see my side of the story. Ok so here goes, (please don't be too harsh, only 15)

I have had my phone for a year now, never lost it for more then a few days and that's just me being forgetful. However I have now lost it for 2 weeks, I can't find it ANYWHERE! I knew this sort of thing would happen sooner or later because I'm getting quite stressed with exams atm and I allways get forgetful, clumsy etc when I'm stressed.

About a month ago, my parents put it forward that I could either have a £5 increase on my pocket money or a new contract on my phone. Now I barely use my phone, if I want to contact someone I use Facebook coz it's free, so I thought, oh I'm just going to lose my phone at some point and I don't really use it, so I asked for the increase in my allowance. They then gave me the contract instead, as apparently that was what they were trying to get me to have, but they wanted me to feel like it was my choice

I'm not trying to be ungrateful, I just think it's a waste of money, I won't use it and DON'T use it so really what is the point other then them spending money on me that I don't need, so now I feel really guilty! So now that i've lost my phone with the contract on, my mum has gone crazy and is yelling at me that I must find it NOW or I've got to get a new phone (a bad, cheap one) and new contract, that I must pay for myself.

So AIBU, to just NOT WANT the contract at all, to think that if I couldn't find it in 2 weeks, one afternoon won't be enough to find it, and that my mum should just cut me some slack?!

Any advice is welcome.

You are mad if you haven't cancelled a contract phone two weeks after losing it.

You lost it 2 weeks ago - what have you done to find it so far?

I know it's in the house, I remember when I last saw it, I think someones just tidied it away...

What scurryfunge said.
Also, you won't need a new contract, they can put the new phone onto it. My DD had a broken one we did that with.

Cardi, did you keep the same simm card?

YABU. Find the phone and apologise to your parents.

I think they're in the wrong.

You didn't want it and if you made that clear they should have listened. Also I'm very at the 'choice' given to you - that's really crappy.

I do agree that you should have to buy a cheapy (99p in some shops) phone as I don't allow my teenager out alone - and you do 'need' one a bit.

I don't agree you should replace the contract - they're winding you up - you just call and disconnect the other one and get another sim - there's no need AT ALL to buy another contract.

if any of this is to do with you room being too messy to find it then I don't have much patience with you but if it's just forgetfulness as you're studying hard then yes, they should cut you a break.

Your parents house insurance might cover your lost phone. Have you asked around all your friends to make sure its not at the bottom of someone else's bag? Dsd and her friends are forever leaving things - that suddenly become crucial - in each others enormous handbags!

doesnt your mum or one of your friends have an old one you can use, I can see why your parents wanted you to have the phone, if something went worng or you got stuck somewhere you need to be able to contact people. although if you know it is in the house get looking.

Hmm so you're choice didn't matter at all even though they offered you one???

Tell them to cancel the contract. You still need to try and find the phone then sell it. Ask them for your original choice of increased pocket money. You probably won't get it because you lost the phone though.

The phone company can send you a new sim card. Don't know how much this costs.

I am slightly on your side. Your parents should have respected your choice.

I understand that other posters will feel that your parents are trying to teach you about personal responsibilty. However, my dh recently lost his phone. As I predicted, the moment he cancelled it and ordered a new sim, we found it.

So, YANBU.

Can you even administer a contract if you are under 18? I think not, as it is effectively a credit contract.

1. Call mobile phone provider (or get parent to do it, if it's in their name) ask them to send you new sim.
2. If handset was insured can claim for loss also. If not, buy cheap one to appease parents for your loss, a bit careless but happens.
3. Suck up the fact they have conned you by giving you a false choice and then enforcing their wishes anyway, is out of order on their part on many many levels.
4. Or rent your contract phone to a friend for £5 a week and pocket the cash ;), ok that might not be a good plan.

When you are employed and finished with education, you get control over this stuff (search for a thread about why it's good to be a grown up). Teens best days of your life? I don't think so. Though mine were pretty great, truth be told

Just out of interest what was their reasoning for wanting you to have a phone on contract?

OK, not a mum for another 6 months but I'm with you on this. So you lost a phone - well, this happens to all of us, not just 'teenagers'. And you sensibly weighed up the choice you thought they'd given you and decided PAYG would suit you better.

I actually think your parents are being a bit weird and controlling over this - pretending to give you a choice and when you made your choice, telling you it's the wrong one.

My parents did this to me over something when I was about your age and it feels pretty crap. You need a phone - it's a safety thing, tell your parents to Google the Milly Dowler Safety Advice website - so if you can't find it then they need to get you a new one, suck it up and realise that this is part and parcel of family life.

And don't worry, in my experience teenage years were the absolute worst but they don't last forever and life after that just gets better and better.

I was almost 30 before I got a mobile phone, and I'm still alive rhinestone - I was a teenager before my parents even had a house phone.

Gosh really, how amazing PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom. Are you seriously telling me that teenagers won't spontaneously combust without one? Maybe it is just possible to live without a mobile phone, that safety advice must just mean that a mobile phone might be advantageous in certain circumstances rather than the actual elixir of life. Thanks soooo much for educating me.

I have another very old phone that acts up a bit but I could easily use that untill other phone is found

Have you checked down the back of the sofa?!

Even if you don't find the phone you'll probably find enough small change to buy a new one!

I suggest you dedicate this afternoon to turning out your room and anywhere else in the house it could be and being determined to find the phone. (TBH you sound as if you've made up your mind you won't find it in one afternoon)

Then, give it to your mum and go and buy yourself a cheap PAYG phone and use that instead.

As the real experts, the people who sell phone contracts and who control such things, don't allow contracts to under 18s, I would say that anyone who thinks they know better and takes out a contract 'for' an under 18 is being unreasonable. I have been that person myself and definitely won't do it again.

BTW, WRT "I have another very old phone that acts up a bit but I could easily use that untill other phone is found": it won't find itself. You will have to look for it.

Is this some sort of bizarre reverse AIBU?

Cos if it is, I'm confused

I think they were being unreasonable to make you take the contract if you are absolutely sure you are not spending more on payg than you realise.

But you are being unreasonable about the actual phone. We all lose things, but you need to be a bit more responsible about important and expensive items. Two separate issues there for me.

My daughters are younger than you, but we do have similar discussions about watches/ Nintendo DS etc, so you are not alone with this, but honestly, you all need to learn to look after things!!!

I'm actually rethinking a bit - the difference with my daughters is that it's things they desperately wanted they mislay. You really didn't want the phone. You are less unreasonable than I thought! But you still need to loom after your things, even if you are stressed, a phone is important and if you did happen to lose it outside the house, someone could run a massive bill up.

My parents say they did it because they allways wanted to stay in contact with me, and it's useful for calling them when i go out, I just dont text loads of my friends all the time like some people my age do. :/