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to honestly not want anything for Valentines day

(42 Posts)
Coconutty Sat 11-Feb-12 16:57:32

from DH? He can buy me flowers/Chocolates/Jewellery anytime he wants but please not just cos he feels he has to. AIBU? I dont want a card and never get him one either, I think Valentine Days overrated.

TwoStepsBack Sat 11-Feb-12 16:58:57

Have you told him this?

C0smos Sat 11-Feb-12 17:03:57

Me too, we usually do cards but I'm not even fussed about that. A surprise at any other time of year would be nice (flowers etc) but never happens. I never do anything nice for my DH though so I can't complain

Coconutty Sat 11-Feb-12 17:04:14

Yep, he agrees luckily. I just saw an advert on the TV for M&S Valentines meal deal and feel like the only person in the World who thinks its overrated.

Hence the AIBU.

peacemoon Sat 11-Feb-12 17:04:53

I agree it is over rated and really only for teenagers.Been with my husband 25y and we don't bother with it.You should tell your other half you love them whenever you want not just because a date on the calendar tells you too.Just another way for the card companies to make money!

We don't do Valentines Day. I see it as a bit of fun for teenagers. The idea is you don't know who the card is off isn't it? confused

usualsuspect Sat 11-Feb-12 17:12:27

I expect I will get my usual sackload of cards through the post wink

5Foot5 Sat 11-Feb-12 17:14:36

peacemoon DH and I will also have been married for 25 years on Valentines Day itself. How sloppy is that!! We do usually get each other cards and flowers actually - probably because it is also our anniversary on the same day. Not this year though. We are going to Iceland instead as a Silver Wedding treat. Yippee!!!

TwoStepsBack Sat 11-Feb-12 17:19:29

I think this thread will get quite big and you will see a lot of posters think it is over-rated.

DH & I don't really bother with it anymore - although we might use it as an excuse to crack open a bottle of bubbly mid-week grin. I hate all the "valentine" menus you get in restaurants around this time of the year which usually consists of pink food!

Are you going to treat your DH to some Greggs frozen sausage rolls and a Vienetta 5? grin

jamdonut Sat 11-Feb-12 17:20:57

Me and DH haven't done this for about 20 years (we've been married nearly 22!)

We both agree it is a waste of precious money. Anyway, we did our fair share of romantic gestures when we were "courting" smile

cherrypieplum Sat 11-Feb-12 17:22:25

Nah it's overrated. We try and do something for the anniversary of our enagagement instead the day after. And we're not getting presents for each other this year because we have our first baby on the way and stuffed pink bears are the least of my concerns! (Unless we're getting a pink one of course!)

I remember being at work and all the bouquets/teddies/god knows what arriving for people. How embarassing. Twelve overpriced red roses and a cheapo stuffed toy-sent to your workplace. <boak>

maybenow Sat 11-Feb-12 17:24:47

we don't 'do' valentines day at all... sometimes maybe a special meal cooked at home if it's a weekend but nothing at all on a weeknight.
this year i'm out at a work-related social thingy (gallery opening) and dh will probably be at his spin class grin

theincredibequeenofwands Sat 11-Feb-12 17:25:38

I think it's cute and quaint.

I buy my lovely man a few gifts and a card. He does the same for me. I usually cook a nice meal too.

I also understand anyone who says it's tacky and over-rated. It is. But I still like it!

grin

We do usually do cards but that's it. I'd rather have a hug and a heartfelt I love you than a gift I don't need.

YANBU smile

I dont want anything either.
I was thinking about it today. Does that make us happy or sad?

Does it mean we dont need this stuff or does it mean we cant be bothered?

I think it means we dont need it.

'special' days are a bit difficult for me anyway. I dont really like a reminder of yet another one without DD. I know its illogical because Valentines isnt a family thing. Still crap though.

Ironically OH used to be crap and special days. He would get really grumpy before and during. He ruined many a valentines and birthday with his sulking. As he grew up (v.young when we met) he got much better at that sort of thing.
Its me that wants them all to go away now.

Poor OH he must be so confused grin

I'm not bothered. DF and I do cards everyyear but have never done gifts (he bought me a gift this year though). I'm a soppy buggar and tell him I love him every day so it's not about the day itself. It gets overruled by the fact DP's son was born that day too! We'll cook a nice meal together, spend time together, give cards and have sex. Just like our anniversary/any other day we feel like it.

I like the concept of the day though I do think it's nicer to receive and give gifts out of the blue.

birdsofshoreandsea Sat 11-Feb-12 17:37:21

it;s far too commercial and the pressure to be a certain way / do or buy certain things, is a real turn off. I love giving and receiving presents but hate seeing the shops full of themed crap at this time of year. DP and I just do cards or occasionally tiny presents. We try to behave lovingly all year round, I hope, (know that sounds yuk but is true)

HavePatience Sat 11-Feb-12 17:40:32

I'm with the wand queen smile
Sorry, on phone and can't remember your full name and can't get out of message posting to look.
But it is tacky, over rated, romantic gestures should be made other days of the year...etc etc blah blah blah
Yet I love the special day set aside for us to celebrate love and do something romantic/nice for one another. Just a reminder, really. And can still be done throughout the year.
No need to be a valentine Scrooge grin wink

aldiwhore Sat 11-Feb-12 17:46:54

I agree coconutty although sometimes we do something... DH has got me a chocolate orange 'for valentines day' which I'll share... been hankering after one for ages so its good to have an excuse, any old excuse will do really!

If we do anything, we're simply using it as an excuse/licence to do what we usually do but mid week/school night. This usually involves staying in, cooking a posher than normal meal, playing cards/wii/something, drinking alcohol and hopefully a shag. Usual Friday night of choice, on a Tuesday, because its Valentines. Why not?

We don't do the schmultz or feel the need to do anything out of the ordinary. Any excuse to have fun is a good one, not that we always need one of course, but its nice to have one all the same.

fullofregrets Sat 11-Feb-12 17:47:32

Nor me, the tat in the shops gets worse each year!

Buying the crap they have filling the shelves and giving it to someone you are supposed to like? confused

elvisaintdead Sat 11-Feb-12 17:51:04

I think it's a commercial rip off personally. Who needs a particular day to be romantic and show someone you love them? Surely it would mean more to get a bunch of flowers or a nice dinner on a random day, unprompted?

Among my social circle, it seems that the biggest and most overblown valentines gestures are done by the people with the most issues/unhappiness in their relationships - it's as though one big thing on a set day cancels out all the drama the rest of the time hmm

DH and I both agree luckily so there is no awkwardness on the day

The thirteen year old girls will all be on Facebook with pictures of the gawdy offerings their admirers have sent them. grin

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