I posted in Relationships also but this place has more traffic. please be honest with me good and bad.
my partner is suffering depression and anxiety. i too suffer from depression but i feel am at the other side of it feel alot better. however i feel so unhappy in my relationship. this is not the man i fell in love with. i still love him sooo much but cant live like this. we have a 3yr old together.
he snaps at me, doesnt talk to me, basic conversation of 2 sentences or involving ds but thats it. he is in a serperate room for 2 years now and loves it.
he doesnt get up with ds ever (i work full time, he is self employed but in the bed every morning til god knows that time). he doesnt bathe him, barely plays with him, has never in his life done housework. yes i knew he was somewhat like that but now its the pits and makes my life hell.
last night i moved a tool that was dangerous for our son to be around onto a higher shelf and he went ballisitic. i was a bitch for doing it and what did he say before about moving his things (apparently i have to ask permission) and if i wasnt happy with that arrangement i was to fuck off somewhere where i was happy. we havent spoken since. he wont either.
he says he is not well, cant cope, wasnt ready for ds so its my fault and even though he does live him i have to rear him.
am at the end of my tether. how long do i live like this hoping he gets better. at this stage i dont know what is anxiety, stress, depression or just being a prick. have had arguments before where i said i was leaving he said go but your not taking ds. then he might say if i find him hanging from a tree it would be my fault.
friends and sis say leave him .... but they only hear my side. i know he is not himself but this is going on 3 years now with no sign if things getting better.
oh and to avoid drip feeding we are both seeing counsellors, both on anti ds, he is also on anti anxiety also. he is seeing a psychologist as well and is being treated for sleep apnea. so therefore nothing is his fault he is ill.
he was never like this before!!! i think i am partly to blame if not fully as i (have to say to give you guys the full picture and want honest advice) had an emotional affair years ago before ds was born. i got close to someone in work loved the attention i was getting. it never got physical but even until i had ds he said he wasnt even sure ds was his. i dont blame him how could he trust me? but i can honestly say i never physically cheated on him. though i know emotionally it is worse what i did.
so between business going downhill, a new born, and not trusting me and getting over what i did i feel it is mostly my fault and cant leave him. i want him around for my ds who he is good to. i do love him, plus who would want an overweight woman in her mid 30s with a 3 yr old. plus there is the other side that he may do something to himself as he does tell me i am his soulmate and how much he loves me (in the good days in between these every 2 week meltdowns).
i am torn .... we can go for a few weeks just existing (i call it that because even though i thought we were fine i can see from other relationships we are just co habiting) to these outbursts where i feel like i'm right back down in the pits of depression but have to snap out of it for ds's sake but he can take to the bed and call me a bitch and i will go home after work and cook a dinner as normal play with ds put him to bed and clean up while he vegs on the couch as he is stressed. and i am the cause of most of it so he tells me.
please tell me what to do? am i bu? am i a bitch? should i give him more time? he is mentally unwell. would leaving him send him over the edge? i am not strong enough to start over myself. i love him sooo much.
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I am lost and soo unhappy!
23 replies
scuzy · 06/02/2012 14:12
OP posts:
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