To Just Kill Them all? The Thoughtless Fuckers.

[Tortington]

1. I have problems with sleep - it is precious. i know you probably think it's precious to everyone, but it's more precious to me, i suffer from phases of insomnia. if i fall asleep on the settee - leave me
   
   if i fall asleep on the floor - leave me.
   
   dont ever wake me. E-V-E-R
   
   so when 19 year old thoughtless fuckhead of a son comes home at 1.30 am and breaks into my home via the velux window - i of course do not hear BECUASE I AM ASLEEP
   
   so in pantomine fashion...all together...what happens when i am asleep?.....that's right boys and girls - you don't wake me.
   
   if son had woken me, i would have seriously beaten him bow legged.
   
   but no, DH 'D' H gets up, wanders round the house after hearing noises, realises its fuckhead son, and starts shouting something along the lines of 'if you have broken that window.....dont ever break into my house.....i;m gonna beat you bow legged next time...'
   
   and
   
   wakes
   
   me
   
   up.
   
   I have gone from zero to boiling point, i am hugely angry at fuckhead son and dickhead dh in the matter of S SECOND.
   
   and i fume
   and i fume
   
   and now im up - awake.
   
   the best thing is i have this meeting with a staff member who is making my life a fucking misery at 8 am.
   
   fuck
   me
   
   and this is just the cherry on the cake which reads ' no one actually cares enough to give a shit'
   
   thoughtless cunts
   thoughtless fucking cunts
   
   
   there are layers
   and layers to this
   
   dont get me started on fuckhead son breaking in - no he cant have a key - becuase ....hes a fuckhead - trust me.
   
   lazy bone idle shit
   
   that fucker is getting up and being chucked out when i leave at 7.15 am - AND I DONT CARE THAT HE HAS NO WHER ELSE TO GO - becuase all his fuckhead friends are in bed til FUCKING MIDDAY.
   
   fuck
   me
   
   
   my dog died too on saturday and i am majorly upset in a big way which means i cry a lot and i have turned into a weirdo dog lady who cries over dogs
   
   and fuckhead son stole a tenner - this is significant becuase i have two sons and this one has never stolen from me. so i'm very upset.

[BadDayAtTheOrifice]

I know where you're coming from. So sorry for you, how inconsiderate.
I'm a shift worker, if anyone wakes me, woe betide them. I used to live on a council estate in north London and would constantly be awoken by a gang of 'yoofs' who thought it was a good idea to play music and deal drugs play music under my bedroom window. Myself and my faltmate ( a 56 yr old asian fella) would have regular 1am meetings in the kitchen to discuss how we were going to away with the buggers (I think crossbows were dicussed at length). Its a form of torture, sleep deprivation, you know!

[Tortington]

crossbow?

there's and idea.

[cornsix]

pmsl at weirdo dog lady that cries over dogs My ds won't go to the vet with me any more in case I 'cry like a baby.'

[my2centsis]

Is this a joke?

[Tortington]

dogs are nice - unlike people

[Tortington]

it wont be a joke to ds when i beat him bow legged and chuck him out in the cold at 7.30 am

[Thumbwitch]

I think crossbow might be extreme actually in your own home, custy - think of the potential for collateral damage!

But certainly retribution is in order. If it weren't for the fact you needed your sleep, I'd recommend waking BOTH the bastards next time they're in the middle of a deep sleep... actually, fuckit, chances are you WILL be awake in the middle of the night when they're not - go and wake them up! Preferably with a klaxon or something - I know, if you have a smoke alarm, burn some toast at 3am - and then open their doors so there is no escape, no hiding.

Crying over your dog doesn't make you weird. Not being sad because your lovely dog has gone would be weird.

[Tortington]

[Sparklingbrook]

Why has no-one come onto the thread to tell you 'seriously, you need to review your home security because your son could have been a burglar etc etc'

DS1 is 12. Is this what I have to look forward to? Sorry to hear about your dog. Good luck this morning.

[LadyWidmerpool]

I think you should call in sick and go and see your GP.

[mousymouseprice]

no crossbow, think of the mess.
I feel for you, have been up with one ill dc most of the night and when he finally fell asleep the other one came into my bed and started whining when I moved a toe.

[Tortington]

GP? not sure why? doyou think he has a crossbow?

anyway, i killed them with a pineapple corer

[Thumbwitch]

oo, creative! I like it. Don't blame you.

(I suspect LadyW thinks you haven't tried the GP before for your insomnia...)

[rhondajean]

Wowwwww you sounds even meaner than me when woken. I didn't think it was possible.

[MmeLindor.]

Itching powder in their beds.

it doesn't make you a weird doglady that you are upset about your dog. It makes you normal, I would cry for weeks if something were to happen to mine.

[SecretNutellaFix]

Did you use a strawberry huller for torture prior to despatching the fuckers?

That really is taking the piss.

PS- I still get teary over my old dog. She died a almost a year and a half ago. So you are relatively normal.

[GoingForGoalWeight]

Life is really shyte at times. So sorry. I hope the meeting goes your way x

[Salmotrutta]

I love the klaxon idea ...

I'm a poor sleeper and I completely sympathise.

When I eventually fall asleep after hours a long time I could cheerfully murder either DH or DS (who likes to crash around the kitchen cooking shit meals at odd hours).

And I don't even work shifts or anything. I am just a seriously grumpy bastard.

[Salmotrutta]

Oh. And I am really sorry about your dog and the missing tenner.

[Tortington]

seriously grumpy bastard - that sums me up exactly! i like it.

what in the name of all holy is a strawberry huller?

[Tortington]

[http://www.flavourgasmic.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/huller.jpg oh the damage i could do]]

[DougalDaydream]

It's not weird to cry over your dog you so recently lost. Let yourself grieve.
It's also not weird to feel pissed off because your children have stolen from you - I know that feeling [mad]
I'm liking the klaxon idea.

[DougalDaydream]

Bugger. It was meant to be
duh.

[Tortington]

oh the damage i could do

[Strawberrytallcake]

You sound really nice and stable.