to think about asking to be induced early?

[kiki22]

have posted in pregnancy but would like some more answers AIBU seems to get more traffic and in need of quick help/answers

I have my 40 week appointment tomorrow with the midwife and am having a serious dilema about if i should ask to be induced or not i could really do with some advice about it i have asked my mum and gran but mum is pro gran is against DP says it's up to me.

The reason i'm thinking of asking to be induced sooner rather than later is my grandfather is dying he was told last week he has 4-8 weeks to live but nurse says today she would say more like 4 weeks or less he is getting worse by the day, i really want baby to get here a) so my grandad can see him before he goes b) i'm terrified of going into labour on the same day he dies c) I'm worried how i would cope with labour if he dies days before i give birth d) ideally i would like my baby to be as old as possible before i go though the grief of losing him (i know that might not happen) i feel it would be easier if i'm not pregnant or just given birth

Also have been getting painful BH for almost 3 weeks as well as sickness, diarreah and period cramps and stabbing pains so bad i can't walk in my fanjo and bum! it's getting old fast!

On the other hand i've heard not so good things about induction and wonder if it's fair to push for baby to be delivered early when he's not ready because of the circumstances. I'm so stressed and upset i really don't know whats for the best i really need some help with this.

[kiki22]

anybody??

[Moominsarescary]

Maybe ask for a sweep and see if that helps things along, sorry about your grandad x

[MustControlFistOfDeath]

Talk it over with your mw tomorrow, I'm not sure if they will induce before 41 weeks.
I asked my mw to induce me at 40wks as DP had to go back overseas but I had to wait until 41+4. DS refused to play along so I ended up having my waters broken at 41+6

Sorry to hear about your grandfather

[IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll]

I wouldn't tbh, but I can understand why you feel like this at such a hard time.

[ItsTimeToBurnThisDiscoDown]

I think a lot of hospitals won't induce until you're a certain amount over, so they may not do it even if you ask. If you're having diarrhoea and cramping you might not have long to wait though! Sorry I couldn't be more help, hope your baby comes soon and gets to meet your grandad.

[kiki22]

i doubt they would induce me before 41 weeks but with him having weeks left to live being induced at 41 instead of 42 would make a big difference. My heads just all over the place at the moment the thought of having to deal with the challanges of a brand new baby and the grief is enough to make me cry, i keep thinking if i ask to be induced as soon as they are willing then i may at least have a week or 2 to get into the swing of baby befor i need to start worrying about a funeral etc. If i go the full 42 weeks then that will have been 3 weeks since his 4 - 8 week diagnosis.

[scaryhairydroopytits]

Sorry about your grandad.
I would avoid an induction if possible though. You are more likely to need a cs following induction and the recovery time for that could be long.
It sounds like things might be moving along anyway for you. I hope so. Good luck with your new baby.

[NoMoreMarbles]

im sorry about your grandad i lost my lovely grandad on christmas day and that was (and still is) very hard. i cant imagine dealing with that and a brand new baby at the same time.

i would talk it through with the midwife and see whether they would be amicable to do this as they may say yes and get you in straight away. if you want to be induced early then i say theres no harm in asking...

good luck and congratulations on the baby

[valkilly]

Sorry to hear about your grandad. I was 40+8 and had severe SPD (or whatever they call the pelvic pain now). I physically couldn't walk across the room unaided and had to sleep propped up on pillows as I couldn't lie down. I asked to be induced but the midwife manager said no as it was against hospital policy due to it being something they only do as a last resort.

She recommended that I try acupuncture. I was sceptical but desperate. I rang an acupuncturist who specialises in women's health and she saud she would do a "labour induction" procedure. She assured me that it would result in labour within 72hrs. That was at 2pm on a Friday. By 9.30 the next morning DD was born...

I had never had acupuncture before but it wasn't in any way sore - in fact it was very relaxing which may be just what you need right now.

Good luck with it all.

[maddening]

I personally would go for sweeps ( and drink pineapple juice as beleiver in let's) - know more people who have had harder births following inductions than not

[GinwillFixit]

I was induced with my first because of low amniotic fluid. It was a very very quick birth. I was terrified it would be long and drawn out and end up in a c-section. It was fine. However, many of my friends who had inductions ended up with c-sections. I would recommend trying some more natural methods. With my second I went for foot reflexology because my feet were so swollen about 2 weeks before my due date and within 24 hours I had delivered my second. I swear the foot rub encouraged my baby to arrive early.

[SlinkingOutsideInFrocks]

I would ask for a sweep immediately, as well as an induction date for as soon as possible. Maybe just having the date, even if it's not as soon as you'd like, might remove some of the anxiety and stress.

I was induced for my two, so don't know any different in terms of pain in labour. As long as you insist on being able to move around during contractions, rather than being strapped to the table to be monitored, it's manageable.

So sorry about your Grandfather and good luck with your labour. :)

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I had an induction and then a c-section. Not pleasant. However, there's lots you can try without that. Foot massage, acupuncture and all that. Also, try to seek help early if you feel hopeless or bleak. The combination of a new baby and a sad loss of a loved one may be poignant and help your grief or it may be very hard. Keep talking to people.

[Canella]

I was induced at 40+5 with dc3 - with both other dc I had been induced at +12 and +10 and I was sure it was going the same way so I burst into tears at my 40 wk appointment - I couldnt bear to wait another 10 days - and they offered to do it at +5. He was born the next day in an uneventful delivery. But there is always a risk that inductions can lead to intervention deliveries.
Sorry about your grandad.

[Shangers]

that's a really tough call - what a horrible situation for you. I was induced on my due date (different country so no idea about NHS policies etc) because my very trusted (English speaking) doctor was going on holiday! I know it's a ridiculous reason but I couldn't face a room full of non-english speakers.
Anyhow, i haven't done it any other way but from talking with other people, I'd say it got more intense quicker than if I'd gone naturally and I think I would have managed without an epidural if I wasn't induced but I have absolutely no regrets - I loved being prepared for it and not having to wait another two weeks possibly with the same end result. I know the stats say there is more chance of a csection but that's stats for you - it may or may not be the case for you - if you're going to do it you do need to be prepared either way.

If I were in your position, I would be doing everything possible to get things moving (sweeps - I had three!! - accupuncture, foot massage, sex if you can face it!) - if nothing else it will help you feel like you're doing something.

The other thing to remember is that within a couple of months it's not going to make a huge amount of difference. You'll still have your baby and you'll still miss your grandad. I know it feels like it's massively important now because it's about the only thing you could have some control over, but whatever you decide to do, it will be the right thing.

[TroublesomeEx]

Sorry to hear about your grandad and I can completely understand how you feel.

Speak with the MW about it and see what she says.

I was induced at 38 weeks because stress had caused DS to stop growing. Shangers is right, it does get more intense more quickly because your body doesn't have time to release pain relieving endorphins. I went from lying on a bed to crawling out of a room on my hands and knees searching for a person in about 30 minutes once labour had started.

Good luck with it all.

[CustardIsMyNemesis]

I was in a very similar situation as you when pg with my DD. My Grandma was very ill and we didn?t know if we had days, weeks or months with her. She passed away a week before DD was born.

I was really sad that my Grandma never got to meet her only great grandchild, however I had the impending birth/raising of a baby that took my mind of things iyswim? I felt that she was ?there? with me during those first few scary months (I even used to speak to her when doing night feeds!).

I have no advice on whether you should ask for an induction, but please try and focus on the happy times that lay ahead. xx

[HorribleDay]

What an awful time for you all. Def speak to MW - worst they can sy is no, and at least she may be able to try a sweep. Would pack as much 'alternative' stuff in too before then - I have no idea if any of it works but curry, sex, acupuncture, foot rubs, special tea, blimey praying to the nearest oak tree - if it might work, try it!

I was induced at 38 weeks or medical reasons - 38 hours later I had an EMCS. Still immensely happy with my birth despite the 'oooo poor thing, didn't work then?' sympathy I've had since...! Inform yourself of all the pros and cons first - hopefully if you're 40+something it'll work easier than an early induction.

Good luck and stay strong xxx

[Brambule]

Sorry to hear about your Grandad. I hope your baby arrives intime for them to meet one another. Re induction, I think it will depend on how understanding/flexible your hospital is about your cirumstances. Policy here is minimum of 40+10. I was induced at 40+14 and the labour itself was intense but okay (but then I've never laboured 'naturally' so can't compare the 2).

Best of luck.

[kiki22]

Thank you all. I spoke to the midwife this morning and she's given me a sweep cervix is 1cm and favourable, she said she could have broken my waters today if she had to, am booked in monday to see the consulatant to ask to be induced early but hoping it will kick off before then. MW said she was hopeful it would.

[olgaga]

I sympathise with you OP, but I think the MW will say you have to think about what's best for you and your baby. I wouldn't hold out much hope that they'll induce for any reason other than medical necessity.

Remember your Grandad has lived to see his own newborn children and Grandchildren, and while it might be nice for you both, it might also be the case that by the time you get there with your new baby he isn't really aware of what's happening anyway. There is no actual guarantee that these events go smoothly and to plan and you'll be up and out of hospital in time to see him anyway.

It's easy to be emotional at a time like this even without being in late pregnancy. I think the most important thing is you give your baby the best chance, by allowing her/him to develop as much as possible in those last few weeks before birth.

Good luck.

[olgaga]

Well that's great news, OP, I'm sure you're much relieved. It sounds like you might not have to wait until Monday anyway!

[FiveHoursSleep]

I was induced at 40+1 with DD3, because she was going to be big and I went into hospital at 40+3 to be induced with DS because of lack of childcare. SO yes, some places will do it. I asked for induction and cried a lot which seemed to help.

[kiki22]

fivehours i can see me crying if i want to or not lol I've been very weepy!

Fingers crossed to go soon

[SaraBellumHertz]

Sorry to hear about your grandfather.

I was induced with DC4 for "social reasons" at 37 weeks, my consultant was very sympathetic re my desire to have my DH present.

I had done a lot of research and discovered that there is no greater risk of an assisted delivery following induction if the baby is not your first.

My induction was great: pessary and sweep and DC arrived 40mins later.
Good luck