How much is too much time to spend with your parents and in-laws?

[Ohnoredundo]

DS 10 months now and the understandable initial excitement from both sets of parents is showing no signs of abating. My mother is round most days and PIL are round every third day. I feel I can tell my own mum when I really don't fancy seeing her but AIBU to tell DH that occasionally I don't want a third nightly visit? Sometimes I just want to slob in front of the TV with spot cream on and not talk yet once again about whether DS is teething or not teething. They are all lovely people - and we love them - but spending this amount of time with them means that they are all really starting to grate on me. Once a week would be far better...

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Any amount of time with my ILs it too much, my parents get a bit tiresome after three days.
I would ask your visitors to cut down a bit. You sound over whelmed TBH.

[FredFredGeorge]

If they want to spend time with DC, can't you just get them to look after the baby and you go off and do something else. They'll likely get bored sooner once that way.

[mmmerangue]

Can you ditch leave the kids with them one day and have time to yourself/ with partner alone?!

I see my parents every weekend and MIL/FIL once or twice a week, as well as MIL taking DS for an afternoon, but I go to them they don't just 'stop in'. Often feel I'd like to have Sunday lunch at home, actually, but feel guilty my parents don't see as much of DS as IL's do :/

[Ohnoredundo]

I feel like a bitch as they all do so much for us but even Mother Teresa would be annoying me at this stage. The truth is though DH would rather die than ever have a semi stern word with his parents...

[Aniseeda]

Oh goodness, I couldn't cope with that! My in-laws are lovely but once every month (or two) is plenty!

Could your DH take the baby round to theirs on a Saturday sometimes, while you slob out catch up on a few jobs?!

[TidyDancer]

There's no hard and fast rule really. I'd be happy to see my mum and ILs whenever they wanted to come. I see them all at least twice a week, frequently more.

Are you asking to limit ILs to once a week, but your mum can come every day unless you say you don't want her there? You might run into some issues if that's the plan.

[mojitomania]

YANBU. Have a chat with DH.

[Ragwort]

Why don't you go out and leave ILs to babysit?

[mrspepperpotty]

Once a week for my parents, a weekend every two months with my ILs (they live further away ) is perfect for me!

Maybe not a stern word, but a simple 'not tonight please, we're really tired / have other plans but looking forward to seeing you later in the week' repeated a few times till they start to get the message?

[Ohnoredundo]

Oh he works of a weekend mostly but that's a good idea. But the truth is everytime we're all off on a Sat we'll walk round ILs with DS anyway! I just feel I have no say in the visits - and then there's the way they open the door without knocking...Really gets to me! Must be a 'woman of the house' thing.

[Ohnoredundo]

Re. Babysitting - they do it every other Fri night! Yes...the my mum/ his mum access thing is definitely an issue. As my mum doesn't work and they both do their visits are always on the night, when I'm knackered and crotchetty. It also feels like its taking time away from me, DH and DS. My mum visits on a day when DH is at work.

[mmmerangue]

Lock the door ;)
That'll knock that on the head!!

[mmmerangue]

the walking in without knocking I mean... not the visits lmao!

[Ohnoredundo]

Pah shagging on the stairs! I'd be lucky!

[PosieParker]

Have they got keys?

[Ohnoredundo]

Oh yes Posie. I don't like it but they do. My parents don't.

[Ohnoredundo]

Lol at mmm!

[mmmerangue]

Oh wow, they have keys... My plan is thwarted >.>

[dandelionss]

Can't DH entertain them while you have a nice long bath or something?

[dandelionss]

How long do they stay?
could dh take him round to his parents?

[YankNCock]

I haven't seen my parents for nearly two years, and though I miss them, if we lived close I would never see them as much as the OP.

We are about 4-5 hours drive from the inlaws and have whittled visits down to about 4 times a year. And it's too much. DH was so bloody depressed after last time, I'm in no hurry to go down again.

[myBOYSareBONKERS]

LOck door and leave your key still in so they cant unlock it

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

Next time they're round suggest that if they would like another grandchild (seeing as they love this one so much) then they're going to have to give you and DH more time alone. Watch them run away! [evil cackle]