To ask what Mumsnet in the eighteenth century would have posted if Jean Armour (Robbie Burns' wife) could ask for relationship advice?

[Cristiane]

Oh clever women of Mumsnet, please help me with my reply to the toast to the lassies!

[tiddlerslate]

Leave the bastard?

[AgentProvocateur]

I don't envy you. I heard a great reply a couple of years ago, by, I think, Karen Dunbar. Have you youtubed for inspiration? Maybe if you start off with a first paragraph others will help you here. Starting is the hardest part.

[Cristiane]

Karen Dunbar? I will you tube it. I can't believe I ever thought this would be a good idea!

[AgentProvocateur]

Sorry - it's not on youtube, but there is a very funny one called "reply from the lassie" with a glamorous, slightly tipsy woman reading it in a gorgeous house. It might give you inspiration.

[Cristiane]

Ok thank you agentprovocateur

[Cristiane]

Bumping for the evening crowd...

[Nevergarglebrandybutter]

Where did she live? If it was Dumfries I'd definitely be complaining about that in my toast.

[Nevergarglebrandybutter]

...and about the amount of time he appears to have spent in the pub.

[Cristiane]

Sorry for being dim, but what would you be complaining about in terms of Dumfries?

[blackoutthesun]

whats wrong with dumfries?

[AlbertoFrog]

apart from the annual floods?

[cidrenomore]

maybe the several children he had with other women, could be a little cause for complaint? Just saying...

[Nevergarglebrandybutter]

what's right with dumfries?