Because after a year in which I was v ill due to pg and he coped with the panic of impending fatherhood by having an affair, and after other issues the year before, he was Mr Partyman earlier and is now snoring.
My friend was here and was going home to see midnight in with her OH who was at home (still) nursing a hangover from last night, and my parents were here and said in advance that they would be leaving about tennish as Dad isnt very well. So, it was known in advance that we would see the NY in just the two of us. He was Mein Host, laughing, joking, centre of attention (which he loves being) and within ten minutes of my friend leaving, he was snoring like a pig because he was pissed as a fart.
I look at him and think "this was supposed to be a sign of our new start, moving on into a new era of our marriage. What it is is you being a selfish drunken twat who doesnt care enough about me or about what you did to even stay sober enough to see the NY in with me"
I have been thinking more and more recently about this, and tonight I am really at the point where I think that perhaps I should just say "bollocks" and get a divorce. It wont be easy but atleast I wont have the piss taken out of me will I? :(
Happy New Year. Same as the last....................but atleast this year i know what situation I am in, last year I was a blissfully ignorant, although v unhappy, idiot :(
I have just texted him a video of him snoring like a pig with the NY live thing on the TV in the backgroud with the words, HAPPY NEW YEAR. Hopefully it will wake him up about 5am when it finally gets to him!
AIBU?
to think that perhaps I am the worlds biggest twat?
Bogeyface · 01/01/2012 00:05
You're not a twat y'daft twat!
Aside from the shitty reasons surrounding why you made it, I love the video you've sent him 
DD1 suggests you post in on YouTube
He's the twat, not you.
My Ex-P also coped with impending and early stages of fatherhood by risking further impregnation of other women!
I've been on my own with DS now for 6 years, I'm happier than I was then. Not easy but you can do it if that's what you do want.
LOVE the text. Second you tube.
That really freaked me out seeing my post and thinking 'I don't remember posting that 
'
I was hoping for better news as I scrolled down.
It's so easy to say LTB on a thread, but when you're so entwined with someone else's life it's harder than you think.
Have you thought about how you might start the process of separating from this fuckwit over the past year? And I don't like to say that about someone I don't know, but just from this short thread you can see how miserable he's making you.
He shouldn't be doing that.
He should be enriching you life, noticing when you need a bit more from him, making you feel good about yourself.
Is the cost of the things you'd have to do to break up with him relative to the happiness and peace you'd feel if you did the deed?
Thankfully I didn't have the DDs when I was living on benefits, but it makes my blood run cold wondering how people manage on the pittance they give you when you've got shoes/food (that actually matters with vitamins and that, I used to live on beans and jacket tates (I was slimmer then )) and all the other million extras you really can't not buy for them.
But the strain of that on top of knowing how be betrayed you at the time when he should have been supporting you the most, would be hard for me to forgive and forget.
Maybe it's time you started writing down the wonderings you have when you're thinking of how to get yourself out of this shit?
Look at what you can feasibly do to make you're life more content.
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Hehe, I feel smug now that although I'm pissed at least I can type kind of coherently
I love you
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