to be really, really annoyed at someone I hardly know for unfriending me on facebook...

[Goldrill]

I have no idea why this is getting to me so much!

We've had a small business for the past decade. It has all gone fruit-shaped and we are closing next week. I will be going bankrupt shortly after. It's fine: in many ways I am quite relieved as I am fed up spending a huge amount of time worrying about it and it has been a long slog with little reward for most of the way.

We told our two casual staff last week and they are fine. We didn't tell our cleaner (who does 10 hours a week) as she had already handed her notice in after finding another job. I would have liked to tell her as she's really nice, but it was something we needed to keep very quiet. She came in mid week and said she hadn't actually got the other job and could we keep her on. So business partner said no and explained why. And now I hear that just about everyone in our small town knows we are closing and it seems there has been a picture painted of huge debts and us ripping loads of people off - this is absolutely not the case and the person who comes off worst in all of this is me. And the source is our cleaner. And then she had the bloody cheek to unfriend me on facebook!

I am so annoyed, but I am not sure why it's getting to me so much. I thought she was nice and we did our best to help her out with flexible hours, loads of sick pay etc, but she has helped us out too and usually pulled her weight. I had no illusion we were good friends, but she was a pleasant acquaintance. I can see why should we be annoyed at not being told and why not being able to come back would be a pain - and so i can also see her reaction is probably to be narked at me in particular. So WHY am I so wound up about it?!

Please help me to get a grip. I have so much work to do this week it's untrue, a poorly DD, a slipped disc and a cold and stewing over this is the last thing I need. And now I'm rantng too....

[usualsuspect]

[Hassledge]

It's getting to you so much because someone you liked and trusted has turned out to be a malicious gossip at the first sign of trouble. It was a shit way to treat you - I don't want to say get a grip, because your reaction is completely valid. I'm sorry you're going through all this.

[fergoose]

I think the unfriending on Facebook is the final straw to be honest

I reckon you are more upset about the malicious rumours and gossip to be honest, and the facebook bit is the straw that broke the camel's back. Do you think she unfriended you because she was scared you would confront her about the lies?

[cece]

I think she has done you a favour - you would probably unfriended her anyway.

I think she sounds like a nasty gossip and I can undrstand why you are upset about this. No one likes to be talked about in the way she is doing it.

[NoOnesGoingToEatYourMincePies]

It could be the final straw on a mountain of rocks.

You've had a lot to cope with and it sounds like you have been coping well, but with so many big problems to deal with it's left you feeling too tired and stressed to deal with such a little one (the unfriending part).

I think that's perfectly normal under the circumstances, because it's just so petty and unnecessary and that's probably the issue. When you are already facing so much, you don't need someone you liked and trusted to turn out the be a nasty, lying gossip behaving like a 13 year old on Facebook or anywhere else.

Sorry you are having to go through it all.

[TartyMcFalalalalalalalalarty]

I take it you won't be offering a glowing reference [evil]

[SuePurblybiltbyElves]

You're upset because a malicious gossip no longer has access to your FB? Sounds like a win, if you ask me.

[snowmummy]

Someone you thought was a decent person has proven herself otherwise. You're bound to be wound up. Its disappointing. Sorry you're going through this.

[LatteLady]

I couldn't read your post without posting you a hug. I am so sorry that your business did not succeed and I do hope that things get better for you very soon.

I think you are behaving with great dignity... I am sorry that your cleaner could not do the same.

[BastedTurkey]

Won't tell you to get a grip as it sounds like you're having a shitty time.

And agree with Tarty, she will regret her actions when she needs a reference

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

I'm so sorry to hear about your business, OP. You didn't need this trusted member of staff/friend to treat you this way on top of it all. I'd feel the same way as you do.

I really hope that you can have a peaceful Christmas, knowing you've done your best. Fingers crossed for you that 2012 brings you new and rewardng opportunities.

[Goldrill]

Gosh - thankyou everyone. I have had it put into perspective by DD (1yo) being massively ill since about 30 secs after I posted the original bit - just a cough and sore throat bug but she has been very upset and not had a lot of sleep. That is important and cleaner is not. And I shall drink the bottle of posh vodka we got her for Christmas. Hah.

Hope everyone's having a lovely day and thankyou for improving mine no end

[Chandon]

yanbu.

Hope your DC recovers soon!

[Binfullofgibletsonthe26th]

Ignore the rancid cow,you are going through enough. And who in their right mind resigns before they actually know they have a solid contract for a new job? She doesn't sound like the shiniest tool in the shed does she?

I agree with other posters, maintain your dignity, she did you a favour de-friending you and doesn't sound like the most loyal person to have around anyhow.

[TeapotsInJune]

So sorry - hope the new year brings some cheer for you x