To think that parenting support/ health visiting has improved in the last ten years

[reallytired]

I have two children, ds is nearly 10 and dd is two.

In the past there were far more health visitors and in my area first time mums got visited for the first 6 weeks whether they needed/ wanted it or not. I found it very stressful as I worried about the state of the house. The health visitor gave me lots and lots of "advice" which was just her opinon. She was well meaning but totally and utterly undermined my confidence.

The health visitor I had nearly 8 years later is much better. She used reflective listening techniques and encouraged me to find my own solutions to problems. I have had far less of her time, but she has used it better. Sometimes less is more. For example a ten minute phone call may be as effective as one hour visit.

I think its good having a team of health visitors instead of one. It reduces the risk of emotional dependence and provides more eyes and ear for spotting problems. It also means that if you don't get one with one health visitor you aren't stuck with her.

I think its good there are more groups like surestart and breastfeeding support groups. I think that parenting classes through the children's centre really empower mothers.

The system is not perfect and more complex than ten years ago. One major disadvantage is that it is very confusing to know how to get help. I also think a lot of mothers do fall through the net as you have to be quite proactive to get help.

[Floggingmolly]

Are you still in regular contact with your health visitor, with a two year old? I never saw mine past 8 weeks or so with any of my kids - oldest 11, youngest 4.

[TroublesomeEx]

I don't know.

Mine are nearly 13 and 5. I didn't see the HV past the first few weeks when the home visits stopped.

I do think that the MW care I got the second time round was better and they didn't look at me like I was a bit odd when I said I wanted to BF.

I've never used anything like surestart, BFing groups, NCT, ante natal classes or the like. I didn't have any kind of relationship with my HV, she weighed DD and I nodded when she reminded me of back to sleep and all that, and then I just got on with it!

[Diamondback]

No experience of ten years ago, but having had a baby recently, the support from the HVs has been brilliant!

[reallytired]

My daughter is tiny and we last saw the health visitor eight months ago when dd was two years old. DD is 0.4th centile and her weight has been monitored by the hv because I didn't want to see a paediatrian. I didn't want dd being prodded and poked just because she is tiny. My work days have made hard to get to clinic. Hence the hv made other arrangements.

I have been impressed that the information that I have been given is research based rather than opinon. My hv is confident to say when she doesn't know something, but she know how to find out. For example she is happy to admit that she is not a breastfeeding guru and refers mothers to the right person.