To feel a lot pissed off and feel like a mug?!

[OTTMummA]

Started work in a retail chain just over a yr ago, at a lowerly management level, woked my arse off and got rid of some dead wood, got a promotion, my shop has had massive sales growth and operational standards can't get much better.
When we got rid of the "dead wood" who were actually my managers i ended up working 50-60hrs a week for about a month, being the only manager in the shop.
The shop then got a manager from another site and things have got better and better, my manager is tough, hard, and unforgiving, but i have a lot of respect for them, and so i thought they had of me, however the last few weeks, they have been taking the piss, asking me for favours, and forgetting to leave keys with people which ended up with me having to come in on my days off very early to open up shop, and waiting 3-4hrs for them to drop off keys after a my shifts end.
I was not happy about this and made it clear last week, not shouting, but pointing out what i thought was unfair behaviour.
Then they stared to just ignore me and be passive, non responsive etc which actually upset me as we had previously had a good working relationship.
Things cooled off and they were talking to me again, but today i started the morning shift, had a pretty stressful morning because a member of staff was making things extra difficult and basically saying because i come in early and get some things ready in the morning for them, they shouldn't expect to have to do it when i don't feel like it! ( yeah, i went F*ing nuts ).
They then continued to mess me about all morning, being deliberatley difficult etfc.
I also had maintence problems to attend to and breaks to deal out.
I had a short shift today, as i was owed hours from last week, when my manager comes in they go off on one about how i hadn't done the banking etc, and why was so and so doing this, when its busy etc.
Now my manager knows the 2 memebers of staff i had in are slow, they never hurry up, even when they ask them to, they just don't speed up,, ever.
They also know that one sometimes behaves in a manner that screws up the routine we have.
I stayed btw and did the banking, but they were telling me to go home, i ignored their comment and got yelled at, so i told them not to talk to me, ive had enough.
Now they are acting like im being unreasonable.
My manager didn't even ask how the morning had gone, so they didn't ask for a reason, just shouted out statements " what i don't appreciate is that the banking isn't done" blah effing blah.
The thing that really gets to me, is how they speak to me though, like im a piece of shit, when really they know i work dam hard, and am always giving, giving, giving, so why talk to me like that?!

Im done now.
What would you do?

[OTTMummA]

Oh, and i don't mind being told i should of done someting etc, but its they way i was talked to i resent, they also know i would of done it anyway without the shouting, they wouldn't of even had to of asked, they KNOW this, i am feeling sad and angry at the same time.

[LineRunnerSaturnaliaCometh]

I think they treat you like this because, sadly, you let them.

When's the last time you had an appraisal?

Can you ask Head Office HR for a 360 for everyone? (How big's the company?)

It sounds like crap, but there are things you can do about this.

[OldGreyWassailTest]

You're in a 'management position'........and you say "would OF" ????

[squeakytoy]

And you're

[OTTMummA]

i came on here for support, not to have me failings pointed out again, and again, thank you so, so, much for making my day even worse.

[eaglewings]

I'd heard from my step sister that retail was a bitch to work in but this is horrid

No ideas how to help other than, there are more important qualities in life than Grammar and spelling, like tact and empathy!

Thankfully OP you seem to have more of the latter than some :)

[blackoutthesun]

working in retail you really do need a thick skin

my advise would be stop being a mug

the best thing i ever did was growing a backbone

so go home when you have finished your shift

[EightiesChick]

Crikey OldGrayWassailTest I'm as big a grammar stickler as you'll find, but I generally don't like to kick people when they're down.

You need to draw some boundaries here. Can you go in tomorrow or whenever you are next in work and ask to speak to your manager privately and say calmly to them that you have been going the extra mile, but now feel this is becoming too much of a burden for you and that other staff are not pulling their weight, so you'd like to take a fresh look at the arrangements? Don't refer to them shouting yesterday, or get upset. Just calmly state the facts.

If that doesn't work, I would think about putting your concerns in writing to the manager above yours. But you need to approach your manager about it calmly first and give them a chance to sort it.

[EightiesChick]

After the first para of that post, the rest is, of course, addressed to you, OP.

[fedupofnamechanging]

If it's a big company, I would suggest that you speak to HR. Failing that, it's time you started to work to rule, so no doing them any favours. If it's your day off, then you don't come in to open up etc. If they've failed to leave keys with the proper person, then tough shit - it's not your problem.

Screen your calls - and don't take theirs when you are not at work. Literally do your job and not anyone else's.

If you have people working for you who are inefficient, then as a manager, you need to address that as the buck stops with you there. You can't do their work for them.

Sorry you've had a shitty day.

[MangoMonster]

agree with eightieschick. Ignore the people who seem to come on aibu or mn in general to kick people when they are down. It's an ugly trait.

[LineRunnerSaturnaliaCometh]

Crikey, what's with the sarky posts above? thus obliterating my words of advice by default

OP, did you have an appraisal during the last year?

[OTTMummA]

The thing is, i like to work hard, i love seeing our sales grow and grow, i come in early partly because i can't sleep much from nerve pain, and when i don't have nerve pain, i know that if i go in early, i can get more done, make the day run more smoothly and increase sales etc.
I like my job.
I don't feel like im a push over, because when im mad, i let people know, i just like to get stuff done.
Im obviously giving out the wrong signals though for people to think they can speak to me like that, but i can't see what it is.

[Jix]

I'm afraid I don't have much to add beyond what others have said, but just wanted to post my support. It's awful and soul-destroying to have to work with total shits and I agree with other posters that maybe you have to stop 'giving' so much, as your efforts aren't appreciated.
Also to say I can't believe other people who are picking up on typos? Honestly, have you guys nothing better in your lives than to read through people's posts and nit-pick??

[OTTMummA]

Yes i had an appraisal in the summer, we have a points system and i got more points than any other managment in my area.
The only issue that was pointed out, was i don't delegate enough, which i agree with, but it is getting better, mainly because i can't physically do a lot some days, so i have no choice.
I was asked to apply for a senior managment role, but i can't do it at the moment, perhaps looking at that next year.

[OurPlanetNeptune]

OTTMummA Sounds like in all other aspects you love your job and are very good at it.

If someone speaks down to you can you pull them up on it? I simply ask people "What I have done or said that makes you feel justified to talk to me like that?"

Do not take any calls from work when you are off. Just don't. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

Eightieschick wrote some great advice:
You need to draw some boundaries here. Can you go in tomorrow or whenever you are next in work and ask to speak to your manager privately and say calmly to them that you have been going the extra mile, but now feel this is becoming too much of a burden for you and that other staff are not pulling their weight, so you'd like to take a fresh look at the arrangements? Don't refer to them shouting yesterday, or get upset. Just calmly state the facts.

If that doesn't work, I would think about putting your concerns in writing to the manager above yours. But you need to approach your manager about it calmly first and give them a chance to sort it.

You sound rather distressed, I hope you sort it out.

The posters commenting on your grammar, when your distress is clear in the OP, remind me that there are some truly ugly personalities in the world.

[OldGreyWassailTest]

OTT - I apologise from the bottom of my heart for being so scathing. I am very sorry. It was, as you say, totally unnecessary and I hope you manage to resolve your problems at work.

[ShockinHolyTempers]

Seems pretty much par for the course in retail. Management won't be grateful for your slogging. They'll just see you as a mug to exploit and take credit for your work while undermining you to their superiors up the ladder. It's dog eat dog.

Actually, office life is pretty much the same, just a lot more underhand.

Never be a martyr to a job, you'll get no thanks.

[wherearemysocks]

Your day sounds like its been quite sucky, and your bosses sound like dicks.

I am a manager in retail and I don't understand why any manager would treat a good member of staff like crap. I have one girl who works for me who is always reliable and comes in early and often go above and beyond. Basically she makes my life easier so why would i not appreciate it and show her that I do?

It sounds like you have some difficult staff too who do not give you or your position the respect it deserves. Do you have any scope to hand out any kind of disciplinary action? I would agree with others that have said that you need to request a formal meeting with your bosses, and make sure that you mention that they need to back you up with dealing with other members of staff. I hope that when they shouted at you that they didn't do that in front of any other staff either.

As for doing the extra little jobs that a staff member would normally do, unfortunatley that can come back to bite you on the bum. My dh (joint manager) started doing some of the tasks that would normally be left for staff to do and I warned him that they would come to expect him to do it and so it would always get left for him, and sure enough now he is moaning at me that no-one does x,y and z anymore. It does show team work etc to pitch in and do non managerial tasks but do make sure you delegate too.

[OTTMummA]

Gets better, i have just been accused of being racist, as the person i had problems with the other day, ( not my manager ) is saying i am picking on them because they are not British!
I can't believe this, my manager is standing up for me though, which is good,
i don't think they have much of a case, as this member of staff is the only one ive ever bought bday and xmas presents for, and also made them a cake for their bday this yr, even learnt some of their mother tounge and wrote them a happy birthday card in their language!

[AnotherEmptyNest]

Reading your post, OP, I began to think that they are trying to make your life unpleasant so that you give in your notice. You have done nothing to warrant their sacking you so the only way for them to get you to leave the company is for you to resign.

I suggest that you speak or write to your Line Manager first and, if you get nowhere, go further up the line. If the work is not done because of others who are deficient in work ethics, just keep yourself going if you like the job and ask for an appraisal system to be put in place.

[LoveBeingAFirework]

don't delegate enough

Maybe the reason your manager was annoyed that the banking hadn't been done was not because you hadn't gone but because you hadn't made sure someone had gone.

[KittyFane]

Right, I am with you OP.
There is nothing worse than awkward colleagues. You are having a crap time and there is some good advice here.
But I want to ask one question...
You say I don't feel like im a push over, because when im mad, i let people know, i just like to get stuff done.
How do you talk to them when they make you angry?
Are you always professional?
If you are then you have a really good case to complain to senior management.