Background: I am the oldest of 3 children. I have 2 DC and am expecting number 3, younger sis has 3 DC and younger brother has none (only 19 years old). We all have partner's that we live with, I am in a same-sex relationship that my dad disapproves of. All in a similar financial situation, not exactly rich but not exactly struggling either.
Younger sis has mental health problems and as a result has a lot of help and support from other members of the family in caring for her children, means my parents are closer to her children than mine IFSWIM as her children sleep at my parents 3 nights a week.
My youngest child suffers from Autism, ADHD and Global Development Delay, as a result he does not talk and is not potty trained. Not massively relavant but my dad is old fashioned and 'dosn't believe' in the conditions and thinks he is hard work and deliberately rude to not speak to people. As a result he is not close to my children AT ALL.
All 3 of us drive, my brother has just passed his test and does not have a car yet. I passed many years ago but do not have a car as can't afford to run one. Sis has a cheap little run around.
All 3 of us live very local to each other and we are a close family.
Phew that's it I think, don't want to drip feed!
Anyway my dad has just bought a new car (great for him) and told me my sis was buying the old one from him, again fine with me. The old one is 3 years old, excellent condition and worth around 6-7 thousand.
Anyway was chatting to sis who then told me that actually my dad was GIVING her the car, wasn't too happy about this as felt it was unfair considering she was the only one to already have a car and felt it would be better for dad to have sold it considering he could do with the money.
Anyway mentioned it to my dad who told me 'she needs it for the kids' not sure why as she has the little car and lets face it not many people NEED a car unless of course you work out of town etc. which none of us do.
Left it at that as I thought about it and I wouldn't have wanted to car anyway as I can't afford to run it so pointless to argue about. Although my dad knows that I am in the process of saving up for a cheap run around as with my DS having SEN it is hard to get around sometimes.
Anyway a week later sis SELLS THE CAR that has been given to her and keeps her little run around, the reason being she could not afford to insure it.
I am not fuming and think why on earth has she been given this car, to sell on and now have a few grand in her pocket. It seems my dad knew this was the plan and gave it to her anyway.
AIBU to think my dad is a complete twat and is clearly favouring one child over his other's. I am apparantly being a spoilt brat and should count myself lucky.
To make matters worse sis is has been saying all week how pleased she is because now she can afford a holiday after christmas and is going to buy a puppy with the rest. So it isn't like she had essential debts/ rent etc to clear.
AIBU?
To think my dad is a complete twat. Long sorry!
SacreLao · 06/11/2011 01:14
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Vivi Thank you very much 
MissPiggy I'm not going to let it bother me, life's too short and way too busy to care. I suppose I wanted reassurance that I wasn't being a spoilt brat to feel hurt by this but sod it, what's done is done.
I like to think I can be the bigger person and hold my head up, at least I can say I stand on my own two feet.
It sounds like you've got a really healthy attitude. Like you say, hold your head up, and concentrate your soon-to-be extended family 
.
I asked my dad to give me a lift to my son's appointment as it was out of town and DS dosn't do well on buses and he refused saying it wouldn't be fair to my brother and sister as he never gives them lifts anywhere
That alone makes your Dad a complete twat in my book!! It amazes me the crap parents you read about on here :(
YANBU to be hurt by your Dad giving your DSis a few grand. It's not fair. I don't think it's necessary for parents to do the same thing for all of their children at the same time, but I think it's essential to be 'fair'. In this case he should have sold the car and kept the money or given you each some. There was no reason to give the money solely to your DSis.
WRT your Dad not accepting your sons SN dx - a lot of people of his generation think that they're just 'naughty kids' so I'm not surprised to read it (upset for your and your kids though) but what struck me is that he feels this way about your kids, but presumably accepts that your Dsis has mental health problems - what's that all about then??
... and yes, it was a well written OP, but by para 36 I was wondering when we were going to get down to the cat & his take on this 
Chipping I could write a novel sometimes everytime I post on here though I get told off for drip feeding so now start all AIBU posts by giving everyone a life story
The not accepting my son's SEN is just his age, it didn't exist in his day and age so that's that.
My sister's mental health issues are slightly more complicated, she dosn't have 'diagnosed' mental health issues but as a result of an ex-partner physically / emotionally abusing her she has a lot of issues, proberly PTSD / Depression or something similar if she were to see a doctor.
My dad accepts this as it has a 'cause' so to speak and to be perfectly honest without the help she gets from the family her children would be on the social services radar hence why both parents are so involved and give her the help she needs.
Maybe you should write a novel!! It's my own fault I know for telling you the other day that it would have been better if you'd put it in your op - I'd forgotten that LOL
Maybe you should tell your Dad you dropped your DS on his head when he was a newborn...
My parents aren't much better. My Mum has a friend who has a teenage boy with SN, they stayed with her the other week and some of the stuff my Mum was saying afterwards ... as much as you try, you know you might as well just hit your head against the wall and be done with it :( Fortunately it was over the phone or I may have had to thwack her over the head with something heavy!!
Lol, so had I actually I just remember getting told off but not by who.
So it is OFFICIALLY Chipping's fault for the long OP!!!
Parent's eh, they drive you mad.
Makes you wonder if my kids will be posting things moaning about me in 20 years time or so.
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