AIBU to want my DD's with my family this Christmas.

[Zacsbird]

It's my ex's weekend this Christmas, which means I won't wake up with the DD's again, as it was his weekend last year too.

I have to admit that Christmas hasn't been shared between us in the way that many couples do, mostly due to the fact that he couldn't be arsed or he didn't have the space for our two lively dd's. The offer was always there and he eventually took an interest when he met his now wife.

I just really want to say no to him this time, I really missed them last year, I live alone and woke up alone and very sad. Also my mum is pretty ill and 76 now so every Christmas is more precious, she adores the DD's and has looked after them since they were babies, she is more of a parent to them than he ever was.

So would I be unreasonable to tell him they are staying with me this year?

[ecclesvet]

Yes, YABU. If that's the arrangement you've made and it's working for the rest of the year, leave it be. Do they live with you in the week? If so, you get them 2012-2015.

[birdynumnums]

YANBU in my opinion, though I would ask to split the day if possible. If I seperated from my partner, I don't think I could not see them at all Christmas day. If split days are not possible, then I think alternating christmas days are fair depsite whose weekend it was.

[Zacsbird]

Thanks for all the replies, I have decided with some discussion with the DD's that I can cope one more year without them with me. They are happy to go so I am happy to let them. I will see them Christmas just later in the day, and as ecclevet pointed out I have many years when it's not his weekend!

[SacreLao]

Me and my ex alternate Christmas, so if he has the children one year then I have them the next and so on, REGARDLESS of who's actual day it is.

This means that we never go more than the one year without the children.

Also whoever has the children for Christmas will have them Christmas Eve and Christmas day. They then go to the other parent's house at 6pm on Christmas night to wake up and having Boxing day with the other parent.

This works so well for us and means that we both see them on Christmas day, take it turns to have the big present opening / meal and everyone is happy.

Might be worth talking about starting something similar?

[whatever117]

SacreLeo - that sounds like the perfect arrangement. You could otherwise end up with the NRP's w/e always falling on xmas for some reason.