I will try and keep this as short as I can whilst also getting the facts across.
About this time last year I was living with ex-p in an expensive rented house which we could only afford as we were both on equivalent salaries and could both pay half the rent.
We moved 2 years ago when his job moved across country. I had to leave everything, get a new job which I wasn't happy with and found it very difficult but was committed to the relationship, wanted to make it work etc.
However, over time I became depressed, started taking anti-depressants. I was probably a bit of a nightmare to live with.
Last year he decided he wanted to leave me. His job meant he could get accommodation for next to nothing through work so he moved out and left me with the house which I couldn't afford.
Although I was upset I quite quickly realised it was better for me. I started feeling less depressed, got off the anti-depressants and with A LOT of emotional and financial support from family, I decided to buy my own place that I could afford.
Buying took a long time and I spent nearly 6 months in the rented house on my own before I could move. It was a struggle for me to pay the rent but just about managed it with zero disposable income and selling a few possessions.
In that time I also met new partner and fell pregnant - bit quick I know!
Anyway, ex-p had paid the deposit on the rented house (which was substantial) and when I finally left the house the landlord made some deductions from the deposit. I did my best to leave the house in a reasonable standard but there was some damage that had been done at the point when we both lived there.
Ex-p now wants me to pay him half the amount the land lord deducted from the deposit which amounts to a few hundred pounds.
I can see his POV, we both lived there so share responsibility for the deposit but I am now in a VERY different situation. He made the choice to leave me which left me in a very difficult situation financially where as he was much better off by leaving.
To top it all off soon after finding out I was pregnant my new partner was made unemployed through no fault of his own so now my salary has to cover the whole household expenses with a baby on the way.
Ex-p is still single, paying virtually nothing for his living costs. So although I'm sure he would like the extra cash, he's not going to be struggling on the breadline without it.
Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to pay him? Or should I just try to scrape the money together/ not buy as much for baby / be even more austere and get him off our backs so new partner and I can get on with our lives?
Thanks for sticking with me if you read all that and I won't take offense at honest opinions.
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55 replies
emmam25 · 02/11/2011 14:18
OP posts:
RealityIsADistantMemory ·
02/11/2011 14:30
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
NatashaBee ·
02/11/2011 14:34
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