I genuinely don't know if I'm being unreasonable to feel like this and am getting quite bitter so value some honest opinions.
My son is nearly 2 and has had over 25 hospital admissions. He gets respiratory distress with every cold and is frequently blue lighted in for Oxygen/Nebs/antibiotics. He's needed lumbar punctures in the past and gets really sick. I have another child and a self employed dh whose business is sinking from all the time off he needs.
Being in hospital is so draining and emotionally exhausting and I get about 1 hour sleep a night due to the usual alarms, hourly meds etc. I do hospital alone as my husband needs to work/ look after my dd.
We have ironing up to the ceiling, we don't eat properly, the dog rarely gets a proper walk, the house is a tip and we are sinking.
We have both lost our mums and my dad lives in Scotland. My dh family live within 5 miles and never, ever help us. Friends used to offer to help but when I'd say can you walk the dog, get some shopping there would be some excuse.
Now I know people have their own lives and children and don't have the time to help us regularly. People were good the first admission but since then it's become normal for us to be in hospital.
I do tell people we are struggling but I'm so conscious I just sound like I'm moaning. The hospital ask every time about 'support' but how can they help- come and walk the dog?
We pay for as much as we can afford, cleaner etc but I just want someone to knock at the door with some bread and milk or a lasagne! I'm starting to cut off family and friends because I'm so bitter so really need some perspective.
I'm also trying to hold down a professional job with very unsympathetic managers (phoned from the ambulance on thur to say I couldn't make
My nightshift and was told tough, leave him with the nurses)
And before anyone says it I'm not depressed just struggling to cope in a really difficult situation without any support.
So AIBU to feel pissed off at our family and friends?
A bit long sorry .......
AIBU?
To want our family and friends to help us?
Knackeredmother · 16/10/2011 11:43
Knackeredmother - I so understand how you feel. When PFB DS1 was diagnosed with aplastic anaemia aged 3.5, and my twins were 1.5, we received very little help from our families. He had to stay (thankfully only) four weeks in an isolation cubicle in GOSH after chemo and bone marrow transplant, followed by a year of immunotherapy and enforced imprisonment in the house, to avoid the germs liberally spread around by people who don't realise the implications of sharing their chicken pox etc. etc. During that time, we needed any help we could get and I became very bitter indeed that DH's family, all of whom had late teenage children, did absolutely NOTHING to help, even though they all live within 10 miles of us (he had two older brothers and an older sister). My family, such as it was, tried their best, but my mother's idea of 'helping' was to split the twins up, my sister lives 100 miles away and already had her hands full with an epileptic 10-year old needing brain surgery and a toddler, but at least she offered to have the twins, which was much appreciated, although I couldn't bear the thought of the whole family being apart. So very luckily for me, a wonderful friend, who had three DC of her own, then aged 6, 4 and 1, took the twins while DS was in hospital, enabling DH to carry on working and to swap with me at the weekends so I had a break from the hospital, and got to see the twins. What a great friend, and a wonderful thing to do for us. I was disgusted with DH's family and have had nothing to do with them since; as far as I'm concerned you can choose your friends but not your family.
You will look back on your hour of need and be proud that you got through it, but you need to accept that some people are fundamentally selfish, whether they are your family or not, and others would help you even though they are not related to you. I was bitter for a long time, but it is a pointless and negative emotion, try to conserve your energy for your DC and DH as much as possible, and well done for keeping working too, that must be really hard, at least for me I didn't have to try to hold a job down at the time.
Good luck, hope things get better for you 
I'm sorry you are being so let down by family & friends - sadly it's fairly normal :(
Throw as much money at it as you can. Do whatever you can so that DH can keep working properly.
How about an Au Pair? I know it's not ideal having someone else in the house, but it's another pair of hands and if you choose the right one, they will be worth their weight in gold.
Definitely sort out getting the cleaner in more.
Ditch ironing - I used to iron everything. I currently don't own an iron!!
Employ someone or use a volunteer to look after the dog - another thing the AP could do!!
Make a list of things you need someone else to do - ask friends & family to do them or pay someone to do them.
Do not spend any energy on family & friends who are not there for you. Just don't.
As for your boss - 
you definitely need to talk to someone at work and get this sorted out. I appreciate your job is important and you are probably not easily replaced when you can't go in, but shit, they need to understand that no matter what - your kids come first. End of.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.