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Wiping cock on hand towel...

(273 Posts)
Graciescotland Wed 14-Sep-11 10:02:36

Title says it all really. DS is fascinated by watching DH pee so he follows him off to the bathroom and the door was left open. I walked by to see DH drying his penis on the hand towel. Apparently it's what he always does, news to me though.

This is rank, right? Or is it a universal thing?

also, overuse of word penis.

I'm so glad you decided to sign up for mn just to post that beautifully written piece of "cock on towel" prose. Just lovely.

margaery Mon 17-Jun-13 14:04:46

cleanhelmet i really do think that one could do with an absolutely clean towel to wipe clean willy on, as oppossed to the dirty hand towel. Could call it The Willy Towel. It would have it's own special rail to hang on, with a sign above stating "Towel for clean willies only", just incase visitors with unclean willies felt tempted to wipe on your willie towel.

wash hands as to not contaminate clean penis
Oh dear god, he registered to post this little gem

CajaDeLaMemoria Mon 17-Jun-13 13:16:29

I have sobbed laughing at this.

Everyone now thinks I am very drunk and the waiter is giving me funny looks. I'm resisting the urge to try to work out how to ask him if he wipes on the hand towel in Spanish.

Zombie thread.

cleanhelmet Mon 17-Jun-13 10:37:03

A Guy's Perspective

I feel that you should all have this from a guy's perspective, i am a guy, and I'm here to set you all straight. There is nothing wrong with wiping your penis on the hand towel. I know it sounds pretty bad but when you think about it, its actually not. This is the sequence of events that occur when I go for a pee.

Step 1: Wash hands as to not contaminate clean penis...hands are actually dirtier as they come into contact with a lot of stuff during the day, however the penis rests happily in clean underwear.

Step 2: Pee. I'm house trained so i do indeed lift the seat and close it, but only because it has a mechanism that allows you to close it without it slamming, it practically closes itself. Google: 'soft close toilet seat' for more info.

Step 3: Shake, then rinse penis head, this isn't something that you need to spend a lot of time on, just a splash of water will do, i like to think that my Mrs could surprise me to a BJ at any given moment, so i like it to be 100% clean for her, also i don't want any residue to get in my boxers. I do this at home, if i'm in a public loo, i just leave it, no big deal.

Step 4: Dry/dab on hand towel, the reason we don't use toilet paper is because it sticks to the water and then sticks to our helmet, also you have wet hands, and you cant really grab the loo roll without wetting it all, so the towel is more convenient.

There is nothing wrong with wiping a clean penis on a towel. Unless the towel is not clean.

ChocolateBridesmaid Sat 16-Mar-13 09:02:21

This was one of the first threads I read when I joined Mumsnet, it had me crying with with laughter -Willy in a Dyson too funny smile

It's a big thread over in chat. Called Muntersnet.

HardlyEverHoovers Mon 11-Mar-13 20:00:55

Not got time to read the whole thread so someone might have already said this BUT is this a cultural thing? My DH washes with water after weeing and THEN dries on a towel. I clicked onto this pretty quick and now leave a towel right next to the loo, different size and colour than the hand towels, washed regularly! The joys of intercultural marriage. And we have a watering can next to the toilet. grin a small one obviously

Otheregos Mon 11-Mar-13 19:59:47

I need to read at a slower pace. I thought the title said"whipping" not wiping!

Saggy I couldn't access your link. Any chance of a summary?

TiggyD Mon 11-Mar-13 17:33:31

Some people are disgusting.

Wiping your hands on a cock towel. Yuk. Poor cock.

I love this thread, where was I when it happened first time round?!

fififrog Mon 11-Mar-13 15:03:47

I don't care if this thread is old I am off sick, in bed, bored as hell and this has given me my first laugh in a week! Tears of laughter, no less grin

VioletCherry Mon 11-Mar-13 14:43:38

WTF! YANBU, and I hope this is not universal.
Our 2yr old ds often follows dh off to the bathroom for pee supervision. Next time I hear them having a right laugh in there I will suspect rank towel wipeage...boke
Maybe I should start following dh into the bathroom too?

cumfy Sun 10-Mar-13 14:58:19
Mrsrobertduvall Sun 10-Mar-13 13:47:32

* fanny teapots* oh that's funny

Areyoumadorisitme Sun 10-Mar-13 12:54:11

I haven't read he whole thread but didn't have hand towels in the bathrooms for several years after I once caught DS1 doing this and then wipe wee off the floor with it. I immediately took all towels out! I am pretty sure DH doesn't do it though!!

We only put hand towels back a year or so ago and DSs are 9 and 12 now! grin

Might have something to do with this

Fallenangle Sat 09-Mar-13 22:44:28

The thought of possible reasons for thebresurrection of the thread bothers me more than the thought of where my DH might wipe after peeing. But then I don't have curtains.

CuttedUpPear Sat 09-Mar-13 22:36:43

What shocked me about this thread was that hardly seemed to realise that washing your privates after pee/poo is the norm for many other (large) eastern cultures.

It's why cutting off a hand for stealing (although obvs a terrible thing anyway) was extra bad because you would have to eat with the same hand that washed your bits.

ToothGah Sat 09-Mar-13 22:18:01

Weird Zombie threadishness hmm

But trashcanjunkie, in all seriousness, if your wee smells enough to make your pubes smell after a wee you do need to get that checked out by a dr. It shouldn't smell, especially if you drink a lot of water.

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot Sat 09-Mar-13 22:06:08

Weirdo thread reviver

bathroom not batch room!

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