to hate being a SAHM/on maternity leave

(85 Posts)
NoGoodAtHousework Wed 31-Aug-11 15:21:45

I love my son, but I hate being a housewife/SAHM whatever you want to call it. I hate housework at the best of times but being home all day kinda puts an expectation on me.

I feel bad (and am often made to feel guilty fordoing so)asking my OH to do things, shitpick, sorting out the back porch(like he promised ages ago) etc when hes home as hes working full time and he does muck in with littleun when hes at home.

I dont really know anyone with kids, I have started mum and baby groups but they are only once a week and I cant spend all the time with mums I've met and having just gone onto SMP coffees and lunch out are not really an option, also I hate having people round as my house is rappy and I have a big dog which I have to lock out who just barks his head off the whole time.

I feel so alone through the week and no one seems to be able to understadn how I feel, Jay is only 6 week old and I already wish Iwas back at work (which is saying something as we're going through restructuing and redundancies!)I know everyone says get out of the house etc but I ont actually find it helps.

Dont know what to expect of anyone just feeling down today....and my son seems to hate me as all hes done is cry every time I go near him.

ledkr Sat 03-Sep-11 21:46:40

hoovercraft i struggle with the whole childcare juggling act but i do miss work a bit,i am hoping to return part time next year.

hoovercraft Sat 03-Sep-11 21:47:32

I am part time and am still struggling sad I do have a lot of extra work though

ledkr Sat 03-Sep-11 21:56:29

I want to like being at home cos it is such a hassle to work with kids but i love the money and need to feel usefull.I have a nice job tho,i do adoption support and meet some nice people and can pop to the shops and stuff when im out.It the running about after school doing the clubs after a work day that kills me.Dh does it but works shifts so often not here <sighs>

babeinthewood Sat 03-Sep-11 23:10:13

Nope! it has taken me three years of being at home with the little darlings to make a life for myself, I worked when DS1 was little then when his brother was born my step daughter also moved in, she was at school so it completely ruined my plans to go back to work after DS2. So here I am three years later making the best of it.

Do whatever you feel most happy doing, Happy mum happy baby IMO smile

Xenia Sun 04-Sep-11 11:50:48

ledkr, in fact it's better fi you get on with things. We used to have loing "lying" in periods after birth and doctors agreed that wasn't best for women. They now get you out of hospital and up and morinv around much sooner. There is an argument that getting quite soon back out "into the fields" is better for women in terms of recovery after child birth.

Anyway the major point is if women want to return to work in a week or two let them and good for them. If they don't I also support the 6 weeks at 90% pay maternity pay we have in the UK for employees as it does take that long for most recovery, the 6 week check at the GP etc. Also if you are rich enough or married a rich enough man to take m ore time off on the very low maternity pay of £110 a week or whatever it is for longer that's fine too but these are all choices and you have the right to go back sooner and if you think other mothers will criticise you don't let that be the reaosn not to go back sooner.

Nicolamilo06 Sat 20-Apr-13 22:26:39

I went back to work 5 weeks after I had my little boy I was so demented
Sitting around. I just worked shifts around my partner felt amazing to have adult time! I've been on maternity leave now 34 weeks as I work in a busy bar which is no place for a bump to be now at 38 weeks I'm begging my boss to let me do something as little boy is at school and only so much tidying one can do ! I would never like to think anyone would judge anyone returning to work so soon! Everyone is different and don't feel gulity about it. Huge respect for stay at home mummy's as its full time job in itself I just couldn't and won't be doing it again made me resentful of family partner and friends as felt very alone despite having a lovely baby to cuddle

norfolknic Sun 21-Apr-13 07:36:15

Op yanbu. I felt like you do. Dd is 16mo now and much more interactive, still doesn't sleep through the night though! I found having some time at the weekend to sleep/shop/read whilst Dh looked afterdd really helped.a couple of hours each day.also going for walks with the pram now it's sunny :-)

I returned to work after a year, working part time on 3 days a week. I love it now as I get my adult time, earn money again and enjoy my days off with dd so much more.

maddening Sun 21-Apr-13 08:45:14

Use your cb to hire a cleaner and enjoy your baby.

I didn't get much housework done when in sole charge of ds - he napped on me even so no chance and then the rest of the time we were out and about having fun doing stimulating things for ds - swimming/baby massage/baby then toddler groups etc

When dfiance got home he got some fun time with ds and I tidied and did one task - eg bathroom or hoovering etc. Dfiance then cooked dinner and bathed ds and I tidied up from dinner - I guess we tag teamed but dfiance got his choice of tasks being that he was at work. I got lie ins more often as ds was bf and I did all (several times a night) night feedings - dfiance has had 2 years of unbroken sleep - I have not had a single full night of sleep in that time - so it works out for us.

When I am back in work we'll balance it out again (and dfiance is sleep training ds while I recover from my op so hopefully we'll both be getting more sleep)

aftermay Sun 21-Apr-13 09:01:29

Old thread, the baby must be 2 by now.

maddening Sun 21-Apr-13 09:05:35

Damm and blast

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