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AIBU?

to want to settle into our own home

8 replies

Gonzo33 · 26/08/2011 15:43

DH is a crown employee, we have been trundling around the world for the last 3 years and tbh I am now wanting to settle into our own home when we get back to UK. DH would have to weekly commute for a couple of years but it would only be 2 hours from where he works, so not dire.

I currently have a home which is rented out which we could sell (will give us decent deposit) and DH could get a mortgage to cover the rest on his salary. We will have savings to cover the legal fees and EA fee's (leeches).

I think this is a goer because it cuts out moving twice in two years, DS could start senior school in the same school he will finish in and I can get a job that I wouldn't have to transfer/leave 2 years later.

Obviously my dh and I have to talk it through properly but wwyd?

OP posts:

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bubblesincoffee · 26/08/2011 15:58

I'd want to settle as well, especially for ds's sake if he is about to go through teenage and exam years.

But then when my dh and I moved in together he had to do a 2 hour commute each way for about a year. It really did start to take it's toll on him, he was exhausted and fell asleep on the sofa after dinner most nights, so I wouldn't choose that for him if I could help it.

Tough one really! Sorry - I have been no help whatsoever!

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louroucas · 26/08/2011 16:01

Do you mean commute every day or just once a week?

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cat64 · 26/08/2011 16:08

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izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 26/08/2011 16:09

only be 2 hours from where he works

Do you mean he'd have to spend 4 hours a day commuting? And is the '2 hours' by car or by a direct transport link (i.e one single journey that doesn't involve changing trains/buses) that can be accessed within easy walking distance of the house?

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PeriPathetic · 26/08/2011 16:20

What Izzy asks.

Another Crown family here. Can completely empathise. Our "settling" won't be for another 4 years though, if at all.

Schooling for your DS is a priority at that age though. Friends of mine who've just moved back have done exactly what you're thinking of doing. So far it's going well, but mainly because her DH isn't seeing it as a permanent life and they may well move again for his job.

A 2 hour each-way commute is do-able, but it's pretty damn hard tbh. I've done it myself. If it's door-to-door then it's less stressful than one with changes / tube / whatever. I slept on the train so I was able to function in the evenings. Had no kid then though.

I think you have to be prepared that your DH won't be around much for your DS. He'll have to leave home really early & return late. Then again, it's only for two years.

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Mumwithadragontattoo · 26/08/2011 16:29

If you mean your DH will live away from you during the week and then be at home at weekends for 2 years. Then he'll move back to your house which would then be near his work after those 2 years then I think that's OK. Not ideal but better than your DS having two moves instead of one and changing secondary schools again.

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Sn0wGoose · 26/08/2011 16:47

2 hours each way, on top of an 8-hour (at least) day, is going to be pretty horrendous imho.

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Gonzo33 · 26/08/2011 17:29

No, hubby won't be commuting daily (he couldn't due to his job) he'd be coming home on a Friday night and going back either on a Sunday night or a Monday morning depending on what is going on at work. Plus for at least a year of this time he will be in another country working as well :(

Hubby will have finished his work after 4 years, and I will be the main wage earner until he finds another job in the area we live in.

cat64 we don't have family in the area where dh's job is, and it is not a place I would really want to settle my children anyway. Plus we could not afford the size house we would need in that area either.