To not throw a first birthday party?

[Wossisface]

Within my circle of friends it's become a kinda statement who can throw the biggest party.

We are skint! And I just wNt to invite family round, i mean surely these parties are for the adults not the baby who won't remember?! I realize nice photos etc will be nice for her to look back on. Friends are horrified that im not going to throw one and that I'm not organizing it all already, it's the endof October!

Here is where it gets a bit complicated. We have decided to throw a halloween party for our kids and inviting all there friends over and we have loads of stuff from last year and I am able to make decorations my mum will cater it, with Halloween type foods. Dp thinks we should do a first birthday party over a Halloween party I do see his point I suggested a joint party for both but he thinks that wouldn't be fair

Would it be unreasonable to just have a small family party for dd2 1st birthday and then have a halloween party the following weekend? Should I just be be having one of these extravagant 1st birthday parties?!

[DialMforMummy]

YANBU

[mummymccar]

It is completely up to you - if you can't afford/don't want to have a huge expensive 1st birthday party then don't. Your friends will get over it.

[Gonzo33]

My daughter was 1 in Feb and we just had family, a small buffet and a cake for her. She has a picture of her with her family and "1" cake. She won't have a clue what she did for her 1st birthday when she is older so what does it matter?

I have kept her cards and things, but I don't remember what I did for my first birthday and I am not scarred by it.

[biddysmama]

my ds2's first birthday was on weds, we didnt have a party. insteadwe are taking him off to blackpool for the day to see the fish because he loves them :) yanbu

[oreocrumbs]

My DDs first birthday was last week we had a small buffet and cake at my parents it was great, if I were you I would just have a birthday tea at home on the day and have your halloween party - much more fun for all the ages in my opinion!

[halcyondays]

Yanbu, I did a family party for 1st birthdays. I thought most people did, I don't know why your friends are horrified, it's up to you if you want to have a party or not.

[elliejjtiny]

YANBU. I had PND with my eldest and I worried I would cry at his party if we had one so we just had a low key day. DH took the day off work, we went to soft play and took loads of photos with his presents and cake. DS2 has special needs and the idea of having a party with a load of walking one year olds when DS2 didn't even have head control was my worst nightmare so we took him and DS1 to longleat instead and had a great day. I think it doesn't matter what you do as long as you take loads of photos.

[AngryFeet]

I did a big party for Dds first birthday. She slept through the ENTIRE thing! I had fun though. For Ds I did nothing. He may not even have had a cake. He didn't seem very bothered by it . your friends are mental.

[CMOTdibbler]

For ds's first birthday, dh, ds and I had lunch at a restaurant, bought a cake in M&S and we took a picture of him blowing his candle out. We were all happy with that.

[Mumwithadragontattoo]

I would definitely avoid kids parties for as long as I can. We had a family BBQ for my DD's 1st birthday. For my DS's we were away skiing so we had a little tea party with cake for him with the other families we were skiing with. The chalet hosts made him a personalised cake which was lovely.

[jenrendo]

YANBU my DS is 1 soon and we are having the family for an afternoon in the garden and only our bestest friends dropping by with their kids if they like, between 1 and 4pm. We are having tea/coffee and cupcakes, with a little homemade cake for DS. 2.30pm is his nap time so he will be asleep half the time anyway. We will stick a candle in the cake and get him a small present and that's it. Have the Hallowe'en party of you have older children. It's up to you. I hate the way it a fricking competition between mums as to who has the biggest/best party with the most presents etc. Really, we are only even doing this for the GPs, Aunties and Uncles that want a bit of a fuss :)

[kenobi]

Frankly from age 3-18 (and possibly beyond!) you're going to have to make a big fuss over it so why not save yourself the hassle for a couple of years? DD was ill over her first so we did absolutely nothing.

and I'm considering the same again for her 2nd except with cake...!

If you feel you must I think combining is a great idea.

[Dozer]

YANBU.

[EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions]

YANBU
I'm not doing a party for DS's 3rd birthday. I'm taking the day off and H and I are taking him out, his uncle and aunt are coming over for tea and it will be lovely. My friend's DD turns 3 the following week and she's spending ££££ doing a big stressful party. Plenty of time for party stuff when he gets to school.

[MaMattoo]

In my culture the first bday is the day to call everyone..DHs mum had 118 people for his bday. However we did nothing..I made a cake, got him a trike. Asked neighbours kids (2 kids) to come for cake as we play together nearly everyday. That's it. Our logic : he is too little to enjoy, I don't want the stress of bday management and planning, don't want to compete with other nct mums who's parties we have been to. Have no space at home, and no money to hire grand venue.
So..MIL pissed off, all calked to ask 'what's the plan' and went away disappointed. My mom flew here for a week to celebrate..well mom, dad and DS share a birthday (yes I did a hat-trick) that's it.
Do as you please...and as you can manage - time, money, energy-wise.

[seasidesister]

YANBU do what YOU want. Your friends sound insecure. Let them be HORRIFIED

[DuelingFanjo]

yanbu. I feel lucky that my son was born in Dec so I can plead lack of venue/bad weather and just have a small family thing with a cake. Though the thought of even family tramping through my 2 bedroom house fills me with dread so I may just make a cake for me, ds and dh and tell people not to come all at once!

[aldiwhore]

YANBU at all... DH and I celebrated our eldest sons first birthday by getting my mum to babysit and going out for a meal.

[raffle]

Your friends would be horrified by our appalling attitude to birthdays :o
DS is 3 in October and he yet to have a party or indeed presents from us! He gets so much from friends and family it is stupid, I see no need to get him more stuff just for the sake of it.

[monkeysmum79]

It's all about competition, who can throw the best party and is therefore the best mum!!! What a load of bollocks!
YANBU, just sensible. Small gatherings of family that matter are much better than big public displays!
Do what you think matters!

[BikeRunSki]

YANBU I didn't, we just had cake with neighbours (who also have a DS the same age). DH took the day off and we had a family day out. DS is now very nearly 3 and the competition in a certain circle of friends is driving me up the wall.

[Ephiny]

YANBU, I've never heard of first birthday parties being anything other than small family occasions.

I'd just have family over for tea, maybe buy or make a nice cake, take some photos for her to look back on. No need for any great expense or fuss, she won't understand or care anyway!

[Fatshionista]

YANBU. DD1's first birthday was a garden party with a small bought bouncy castle, finger foods and family. It was a great day and one I will look back on with fond memories.

This year I am skint so DD2's first birthday is going to be cake and party hats with some homemade tidbits of food and as many family members as I can fit in the lounge.

[EssexGurl]

Nooooo YANBU!!! I hate the whole competitive first birthday party thing. A friend of mine had entertainer, disco, hired hall etc etc. Madness. It is purely for the parents.

For both DS and DD we just had the grandparents around for lunch, cake and bubbly. Lovely photos but nothing more. For DS (my eldest) it was difficult for me as I was going back to work 2 days after and I did have a few teary moments that weekend. I could not have coped with anymore. But even with DD I liked the idea of a small family gathering. Don't get bullied into anything more.

[Wossisface]

Thanks for everyone's replies I was worried of getting flamed as my friends seem to make it seem like the norm to throw a big 1st birthday party. Thanks for replies.