AIBU to think that bunnies are fluffy but not velvety?

(392 Posts)
ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 11:01:13

grin a place to hide from extreme opinions and comtemplate fluffy things like bunnies and kittens.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 11:02:27

And errrr no pedants pointing out spelling mistakes allowed ok?

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 11:05:15

Well, it depends on the bunny. I have encountered some velvety ones. but then there are lots of fluffy ones. ARGH.

This is kind of like in the TV show How I Met Your Mother when they have a HUGE fight over what's better, ducks or rabbits (ducks, obviously. They're ridiculously tasty)

Dependson the breed, some are.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 11-Aug-11 11:08:11

I think bunnies & kittens are neither velvety nor fluffy but mostly scratchy. Especially bunnies

culturevulture Thu 11-Aug-11 11:09:16

Rex rabbits are velvety not fluffy

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 11:09:39

Perhaps bunnies that have had a shave but it's just growing back would be velvety? But otherwise they would definitely not be velvety as their fur would be too long and more fluffy.

In general I'd agree that bunnies are fluffy rather than velvety. And I'd include hamsters and guinea pigs in your fluffy category as well.

On a slightly divergent note, I'd also assert that new-born baby guinea pigs are the cutest animals ever found. They have along gestation, and are born fully fluffy and with their eyes open, unlike baby bunnies which have to grow into their cuteness.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 11:15:40

Dammit you're right Rex bunnies are velvety

Apparently I was BU sorry.

culturevulture Thu 11-Aug-11 11:18:04

That is the main comment everyone makes when they stroke our Rex

Sheepling Thu 11-Aug-11 11:18:18

Ive encountered a very, very velvety bunny. It was wonderful. And made me want a bunny.

cookielove Thu 11-Aug-11 11:20:15
ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 11:21:55

I want a bunny now too. Makes a change from wanting a kitten though.

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 11:22:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 11:23:56

I want a pet lion after reading this, particularly when you want the video at the bottom of the article.

DP's still insisting on a pet lynx.

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 11:24:04

LOVE this thread!

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 11:26:21

Yes the lion story is lovely. Not sure I would have stood there as a wild lion came running towards me though.

Simon King did the same with cheetah cubs, they were rereleased and he went back and they were jumping all over him too.

I wonder if lions and cheetahs are velvety?

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 11:31:00

I imagine they are. There's a lion sanctuary near Johannesburg where you get to play with lion cubs. I've seen tons of pictures of friends and relatives doing it, but haven't had a chance. It's a dream of mine. I imagine they're fluffy.

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 11:38:52

When I'm sad I go to the pet shop and look at the guinea pigs.

I'm going to do that today.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 11:42:26

Been thinking about it further, leopards would be velvety but snow leopards would be fluffy without velvetiness.

Guinea pigs on the other hand have ears made out of butter soft leather.

NasalCoffeeEnema Thu 11-Aug-11 11:43:37

Our rabbits are fluffy and velvety

cookielove Thu 11-Aug-11 11:44:10

The lion story, there is a documentary on that it was really good. Love it

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 11:44:25

God. I love guinea pigs so much. I wish I WAS a guinea pig so that I could have sex with another guinea pig.

Yeah.

superjobee Thu 11-Aug-11 11:46:13

most bunnies are fluffy we had one yeeeeears ago that was velvetty and speckled looking but she commited suicide ..

<brings down thread>

MissPenteuth Thu 11-Aug-11 11:46:33

24 posts to get from fluffy bunnies to guinea pig sex grin

MissPenteuth Thu 11-Aug-11 11:46:56

Bunny suicide? Really and truly?

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 11:48:11

How did your bunny commit suicide? That's very sad.

DP's budgie committed suicide while masturbating.

superjobee Thu 11-Aug-11 11:53:13

grin shock at masturbating budgie!!

we had one of those metal cages with the lid at the top and one morning she must have been trying to escape sh'd basically hung herself sad we'd only had her 3 days!!

<im really not a bad owner i promise even tho 7 hamsters 3 goldfish 2 rats and a rabbit beg to differ >

superjobee Thu 11-Aug-11 11:54:00

guinea pigs are ace i dont hink i'd do one but they are ace ..

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 11:56:47

Oh squee at the cute GP's but I'm worried that Shirley's now having improper thoughts.

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 12:02:26

grin

Quenelle Thu 11-Aug-11 12:09:34

My friend's guinea pig had spirally eyelashes.

I didn't want to do him, but friend's rabbit did, frequently.

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 12:14:55

our hamster is very velvety <hopes the animal species change won't be construed as a hijack>

but ironically, is called 'fluffy'

Lancelottie Thu 11-Aug-11 12:17:36

Oh stop it with the supercute GP photos!

All we have left is a grumpy, baldish old guinea sow who charges, teeth bared, at any new 'friends' we try to introduce to her <mutter, grumble, humph>.

piprabbit Thu 11-Aug-11 12:19:06

My Dwarf Netherland had the most gorgeously velvety ears.

He was very very soft and would cuddle my hand, so cute - then I realised he was actually trying to shag it.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 12:19:26

AM poor thing must be very confused about it's identity, cruel hamster owner.

purplepidjin Thu 11-Aug-11 12:20:47

There's a pic of my house rabbit on my profile. He's definitely fluffy. Also, pics of Mango (RIP) who was also very fluffy. Mille (no pics, will put up if asked) is more velvetty because she is short-haired.

The fish are just a bit slimy wink

DNephew's hair is velvetty, if that helps? He's very cute!

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 12:22:42
AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 12:23:17

<narrows eyes at 4yr old DD>

yes, she is rather cruel, ClaireDeLoon grin

fluffy won't try to shag me, unless she's lesbian and fancies older women

<ponders lesbian hamsters but doesn't dare google>

PeterSpanswick Thu 11-Aug-11 12:26:35

I hope you all realise that rabbits are feckless societal parasites?

All they they do is sit around on their fluffy, velvety arses all day, breeding more and more offspring which they have no intention of supporting and expect us harddoneby tax payers to pick up the bill for the extra straw and rabbit food.

Burn the bunnies!

grin

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 12:27:23

I can confirm that googling lesbian hamster does not lead to cute hamster pics.

Suncottage Thu 11-Aug-11 12:29:27

Koalas and kangaroos are velvety

Cheria Thu 11-Aug-11 12:30:02

Wild rabbits look velvety. But rabbits bred for fluffiness like angora etc are obviously fluffy.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 12:31:57

<ignores unkind daily mail type bunny stereotypes>

Hmmm, maybe I should get a spreadsheet going. Koalas very cute but I find kangaroos a bit sinister.

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 12:35:44

O. M. to the motherfucking GEE.

I CANNOT BELIVE YOU SAID THAT ABOUT RABBITS. YOU FUCKING RABBITIST BASTARD!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!
?

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 12:37:20

Claire you didn't you? <winces>

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 12:38:49

What comes up when you google lesbian hamsters please?

Suncottage Thu 11-Aug-11 12:39:04

Deer antlers are velvety

PeterSpanswick Thu 11-Aug-11 12:40:09

I'd shoot those rabbits myself if the bleeding-heart-liberal armed response unit hadn't wrestled my gun from my hands the other night. Right in the face. They deserve it, lawless destroyers of this fine country.

I also don't think it's any coincidence that most of the rabbits I have seen lately have been black. Huh?! Huh?!

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 12:40:19

Would you believe porn? <tuts>

ExitPursuedByAGryffin Thu 11-Aug-11 12:40:37

What about the velveteen rabbit then?

This thread seems to be veering off course somewhat.

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 12:41:12

they are suncottage, until the big musky daddy-to-be deer rubs all the velvet off in a big horny rage

[smelly randy male animal emoticon]

(see what i did there? horny? i'm here all week. unfortunately)

flaminglip Thu 11-Aug-11 12:43:06

Aren't Guinea Pigs, hairy ? as opposed to fluffy? I find their pelt to be most like human hair.

Puppies ears are the 2nd most velvetyest thing in the world. After velvet itself and horses noses.

I like this thread smile

Suncottage Thu 11-Aug-11 12:44:51

The Velveteen Hamster may not have been such a popular book

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 12:45:40

Oh yes horses noses! Very velvety. I love horses and their noses.

Suncottage Thu 11-Aug-11 12:45:59

Newborn babies' ears are quite velvety as well.

PeterSpanswick Thu 11-Aug-11 12:46:39

<< gives up and goes for a nice lie down with a cool flannel >>

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 12:47:04

<sighs> @ new born babies


<recoils at sore nipples, piles and the smell of sick>

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 12:50:03

Claire - what SORT of porn though? Hamster porn? Or human/hamster...actually I don't want to talk about it. wink

Peter - are you mad? I bet you are a member of the BNP (BUNNIES? NO! Party) aren't you? You make me sick.

LoopyLoopsTootyFroots Thu 11-Aug-11 12:50:37

Guinea pigs are nothing but sex toys for rabbits who aren't allowed to reproduce.

We went to the zoo the other day and I can confirm that okapi are velvety.

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 12:51:06

Yes, horses are velvetty.

Now, I wonder about penguins. Again, DP would love a pet penguin <exasperated sigh>, but are they velvety? They're birds, but they're not feathered.

I'm so confused.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 12:51:45

Loopy you're confused, rabbits are sex toys, I've never heard of a 'rampant guinea pig'

LoopyLoopsTootyFroots Thu 11-Aug-11 12:52:26
LoopyLoopsTootyFroots Thu 11-Aug-11 12:53:09

That's because it's the rabbits who are rampant. The pigs just satisfy their need.

Penguines are feathered - they just don't fly. Or they sort of fly, but in water.... I think they'd probably be pretty oily rather than velvety.

Verahaspurpletwuntypants Thu 11-Aug-11 12:56:11

Horses noses definitely velvety

This little rabbit is defiantly fluffy lionheadrabbit.net/

Suncottage Thu 11-Aug-11 12:57:13

Snapdragons are also velvety and when I was I child we called them 'Bunny rabbit flowers'.

Coincidence? I think not.

Pansies are velvety also.

[Thread veering way off course now]

Verahaspurpletwuntypants Thu 11-Aug-11 12:57:17

That should read definitely . blush

grin at defiantly fluffy.

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 12:58:45

My pussy is both fluffy and velvety. He is all velvety round the ears and all fluffy on his little fluffy belly. God I love my cat.

PeterSpanswick Thu 11-Aug-11 12:59:09

I'm banned from Pets at Home. They can't handle the cold hard truth.

VictorGollancz Thu 11-Aug-11 13:00:38

Any poster claiming that a rabbit's fur is velvety needs to take a long hard look at themselves. Think of a mole's fur; THAT is velvety. Is a rabbit's fur like a mole's? Is it? No, no it is not.

Same goes for hamsters and guinea pigs and any other fluffy mammal out there. Think to yourself: 'is this like a mole's fur?' and if the answer is negative, why, then it is fluffy.

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 13:01:31

Thanks for the clarification on penguins.

So, keeping one in the bed would be a bad idea? They're not very cuddly? Damnit.

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 13:02:22

Think you got it right first time Vera grin.

I want a lionhead bunny now!

As well as a sea otter. Love sea otters.

Suncottage Thu 11-Aug-11 13:04:19

If there was a contraceptive pill for rabbits would you trust them to take it?

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 13:05:28

Maybe otters would be a tad smelly?

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 13:06:29

and they have very sharp teeth

ferrets are quite velvety in places, but also have sharp teeth

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 13:06:36

baby lynxes seem to be fluffy.

Verahaspurpletwuntypants Thu 11-Aug-11 13:06:53

Thanks scrambledsmegs grin

Sea otters very cute. Ew at hairy moles. wink

Oh and my lab puppy has velvety ears.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 13:07:10

I also just checked my cat for velvetiness and he is definitely more fluffy but his nose and ears tend towards velvety. He's now in a right mood because I disturbed his kip.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 13:07:44

Oh yes lab puppies are velvety, especially the andrex ones.

LoopyLoopsTootyFroots Thu 11-Aug-11 13:08:32

I think between the oily feathers and the fishy breath, I'd not be that keen on sharing my bed with one grin

Verahaspurpletwuntypants Thu 11-Aug-11 13:10:03

Mines a borneville.

hmm at rabbit being trusted to take contraceptive pill.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 13:11:58

Adds handholding otters to my cute animals 'want list'

Verahaspurpletwuntypants Thu 11-Aug-11 13:12:26

Thanks loopy soooooooooo cute.

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 13:13:28

To be honest AMum, I wouldn't notice the difference between the penguin and DP grin (I joke. He's not oily and doesn't often smell of fish)

Hopefully penguins don't snore, because snoring in stereo ...

piprabbit Thu 11-Aug-11 13:14:39

I have no idea what this is, but it is fluffy.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 13:18:18
Verahaspurpletwuntypants Thu 11-Aug-11 13:33:07

piprabbit by the tiny bit of face you can see it's either a rabbit or a Guinea pig. hmm
Definitely fuffy. And very funny in a adorable fluff ball sort of way. grin

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 13:41:50

I wonder if newborn baby baa lambs are velvety? Are there any farming mners who can answer this important question?

piprabbit Thu 11-Aug-11 13:42:53

Baby baa lambs are not velvety. They are slightly wiry, a bit like a green scouring pad.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 13:43:30

Hmmm disappointing.

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 13:52:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 13:54:49

Polar bears look hairy

PIGS are the worst. In your brain they're all smooth and, yes maybe a bit velvety, but in reality they are as bristly as a broom shock

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 13:57:24

Baby polar bears are fluffy but not velvety.

I think giraffes are probably velvety though.

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 13:58:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 14:02:08

Snakes feel awful - warm and scaly. They freak me out.

Now baby meerkats are probably fluffy. I feel they would also make a great pet awwwwwwww

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 14:02:47

Yes to giraffes being velvety. I bet fawns are velvety.

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 14:11:12

moles are velvety grin

i like moles

I smoothed a penguin. It was smooth and a bit velvety.

I wish I was a floaty otter.

LoopyLoopsTootyFroots Thu 11-Aug-11 14:13:20

Sounds like a euphemism - floaty otter!

Oh I love the feel of snakes - like warm leather!

oaty flotter

Cor I don't arf have an oaty flotter today

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 14:18:39

They're velvety if you shave them, so I'm told.

Vicar would you like another slice of oaty flotter?

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 14:19:34

Hahaha floaty otter!

Verahaspurpletwuntypants Thu 11-Aug-11 14:19:39

Butterflies are velvety. I'd presume, I haven't actually stroked one.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 14:20:23

Please, no butterflies, I have a phobia.

Verahaspurpletwuntypants Thu 11-Aug-11 14:28:27

Odd you should say that. My friend does too. I was shameless and used to tease her, but it soon lost it's appeal.

Change of subject. My mum has a fluffy Persian cat that gets a hair cut in the summer like this one www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=shaved+persian+cat&um=1&hl=en&client=safari&tbo=d&tbm=isch&tbnid=aaBxmHk3YCMALM:&imgrefurl=http://www.meatheadfilms.com/blogs/bd/2007/09/01/New-Kid-on-the-Block%25253A-Stacey-Rachdorf/&docid=URrl_xustu8YpM&w=320&h=270&ei=fc1DTrSBEsSx8gP0wq3sBQ&zoom=1&biw=1024&bih=690

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 14:30:45

So, we're agreed?

Velvety - moles, giraffes, fawns
Fluffy - ducklings, baby meercats, baby penguins
Wirey - sheep, polar bears.

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 14:33:39

Agreed.

Now baby cows. I feel they'd fall into the velvety category, but I have no RL experience on this matter.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 14:34:00

And bunnies on the velvety list

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 14:36:47

I don't know - I believe bunnies fell into both fluffy and velvety lists <sits on fence>

Baby cows are velvety but their tongues are like sandpaper.

<starts thinking about other animals to go on the sandpaper list>

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 14:38:59

No bunnies are too contentious at the moment so I've left them out for the time being.

I thought we'd come back to it later.

Now...Dolphins. Slippery?

Verahaspurpletwuntypants Thu 11-Aug-11 14:42:11

Cats tongues also on sandpaper list

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 14:44:26

Hedgehogs and pigs on the bristly list.

reelingintheyears Thu 11-Aug-11 14:45:16

The rabbit ate all my lupins.

So i ate the rabbit.

Well,not really but i did threaten him.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 14:45:26

Dolphins = rubbery.

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 14:45:55

Bloody pigs and they're bristly backs.

Goats are also wiry

VictorGollancz Thu 11-Aug-11 14:46:27

I've often thought how lovely it would be to hug a lion. I can only assume that people who work in zoos manage to resist it, otherwise there would be more fatalities. I suspect that, if the lion needs vet treatment, they probably send it to sleep, then everyone gets in there for a good hug, and then the treatment commences.

Tigers are probably velvety. Like a giant mole. Only cat-shaped.

VictorGollancz Thu 11-Aug-11 14:47:10

Baby cows are rough-ish, like horse hair.

I love baby crocodiles. Not velvety, or fluffy. Snappy.

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 14:48:02

*their. Not bloody 'they are.' tut.

Dolphins - rubbery? Interesting. What else is rubbery?

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 14:48:25

i don't like dolphins, everyone thinks they are loving and kindly but they are vicious bullies <gavel>

Ha ha Victor at the sleepy lion hugging!

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 14:49:11

Reeling I was momentarily confusing lupins and lapins reading your post.

VictorGollancz Thu 11-Aug-11 14:49:18

Adult seals are probably rubbery. Anything that lives in water and has good fatty watertight skin.

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 14:49:44

I wonder if I would be allergic to a lion. I have cat allergies. So I bet I would be.

I'm totally having that put on my medical records 'allergic to lions' RARRRR

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 14:50:47

Dolphins are lovely. They're born all folded up and have sweet fold lines on them as babies. I refuse to believe bullying stories.

usualsuspect Thu 11-Aug-11 14:51:39

Baby seals are fluffy and cute

Sharks are rubbery and not cute

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 14:52:06

Porpoises, sharks and whales are probably rubbery.

Donkeys are bristly, particularly if you're riding them bare back wearing shorts. They also have a very prominent, VERY hard spine <ouch>

VictorGollancz Thu 11-Aug-11 14:52:50

I thought sharks were sandpapery, usualsuspect? A rubbery shark is somehow less menacing...

usualsuspect Thu 11-Aug-11 14:53:33

I've never felt a shark so I could be wrong .they look rubbery

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 14:54:11

Would lizards fall into the sandpapery category?

I've always wanted a miniature herd of elephants on my desk. I think they'd feel like erasers. Do big elephants feel like rubber?

Is it true that sharks are sandpapery?

VictorGollancz Thu 11-Aug-11 14:55:29

Neither have I! I have stroked a stingray though, which was sandpapery, and the aquarium guy told me sharkskin was similar. I do like the idea of a rubbery shark.

I think lizards would be more ike snakes - so in the "leathery" category - dry and smooth.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 14:56:00

I was just going to suggest hippos as rubbery.

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 14:56:15

i've stroked a ray and thought it was a bit like stroking liver

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 14:56:37

hippos look as thought they are made of pure liver!

southeastastra Thu 11-Aug-11 14:57:50

bunnies aren't really fluffy, (though some are) mostly just furry

and rex rabbits are definitely velvety, I saw loads once at a rabbit show and they didn't flince, i wonder if they were sedated

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 14:58:21

I don't think they are made of liver because cats love liver and so the lions would just eat them. I feel that having skin made of liver in area with so many big cats would be an evolutionary error.

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 14:58:38

I think elephants are rough - they're very wrinkly with bristly hairs. I suspect dry hippos are similar; wet ones would be rubbery.

We really need an MN zoo outing, where we get to touch all the animas. I can picture it now, lots of random women descending on the zoo and touching the baboons going "now, is this wiry? Or just hairy?" with pondering faces

I can confirm that dolphins are rubbery, they feel very much like a wet wetsuit.

And sharks are sandpapery. So much so that their skin was used as sandpaper during the war.

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 14:58:49

Claire someone at work solemnly told me that 'people think dolphins are nice but most of them are gay which isn't nice at all.'

He then wandered off without waiting for a reply. Maybe it was a Tourette's-style outburst which didn't require a response. The rest of us called him Daft Ian. You could say it in his earshot and he'd smile and nod.

reelingintheyears Thu 11-Aug-11 14:58:58

Hippos are mean.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 15:00:50

Again if all dolphins were gay then that would be another example of an evolutionary error?

VictorGollancz Thu 11-Aug-11 15:01:46

Manatees are definitely an addition to the rubbery group.

Verahaspurpletwuntypants Thu 11-Aug-11 15:02:20

Elephants as erasers. grin

Suncottage Thu 11-Aug-11 15:03:16

Starfish are nobbly but not sandpapery

Can bears be fuzzy?

Fuzzy-Wuzzy was a bear
A bear was Fuzzy-Wuzzy
But Fuzzy-Wuzzy had no hair
So he wasn't fuzzy, was he?

See, it must be true.

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 15:05:16

Claire what you mean like Daft Ian who makes me doubt the theory of evolution every time I think of him?

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 15:05:38

not all dolphins are gay, but they bully gay dolphins

i'm sure i saw that on one of those 'animal planet' documentaries

I thought dolphins were one of the species that prove things like gang rape aren't a purely human idea?

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 15:08:25

We actually have a manatee on MN (OTheHugeManatee) - we should ask her if she's rubbery or not

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 15:09:18

yup, see MumInScotland knows <nods knowingly>

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 15:10:13

Start a thread to get her attention Abs.

'Oi, OTheHugeManatee, are your rubbery'

So dolphins are homophobic?

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 15:11:54

do dolphins read the daily mail?

Yeah, I might just PM her

reelingintheyears Thu 11-Aug-11 15:12:34

Drakes gang rape ducks aswell.

I read that somewhere.

LoopyLoopsTootyFroots Thu 11-Aug-11 15:13:05

Sheep aren't wiry, they are greasy.

No no NO to using sharks as sandpaper SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots. Massive cruelty to sharks. Surely that can't be right. Anyway how on earth would you hold the shark against the bit of wood without it biting your hand off?

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 15:14:16

yes, they are sad

I just got a splinter off a bit of wood on my decking. Oh...just pass me the shark from the toolshed would you?

OH ! reeling

AuntieM has just promoted this thread as an 'oasis of calm' and look !

Bullying dolphins and gang-raping ducks.

Not feeling very calm now.....sad

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 15:16:26

ffs, you don't rub wood on a live shark shock

you hold the wood under the water and let the shark swim up to it.

the water takes away any sawdust and is therefore a very clean and asthma-friendly way of going about the whole operation!

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 15:17:10

Yes let's go back to fluffy things. We need pinot to come post pics of her kittens to restore balance.

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 15:18:19

cute

awww

sweet

<saves thread from horribleness>

I have pictures of fluffies in my photos, if you would like a look.

Suncottage Thu 11-Aug-11 15:19:18

Sharkskin is used on many things under the name shagreen. It was very popular as a covering for the handle of a sword as it stayed dry no matter how sweaty your hand got during a sword fight.

I have also seen it on decorative clocks etc etc.

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 15:19:26

mrsdonkey i'm sorry, i was trying to get dolphins off the 'cute' list

it's not my fault they have a false persona

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 15:20:17

This is like the thread when I found out that the character Ross from friends was creepy and controlling.

I'm never going to look at ducks in the same way again sad

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 15:20:21

shock

What's happening here?

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 15:21:57

Ross was creepy and controlling.

Nope.

<fingers ion ears>

I need my happy place I need my happy place

It's alright, AuntieM smile

I have heard before that dolphins are vicious buggers, I think it's the 'smiley face' pictures we are used to seeing, that misleads people.

Think happy thoughts about fluffy ducklings. Don't worry about what they might grow up into. No duckling would have dark thoughts.

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 15:24:08

I love Ross. He's the BEST dagnamit.

I love my kittens more and I confirm, with appropriate pomp, that kittens fur is silky.

<strokes kittens as proof>

reelingintheyears Thu 11-Aug-11 15:24:25

Sorry..blush

AMumInScotland started it.

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 15:24:50

and the fact they were used by navies to plant bombs on boats?

<opens tin of dolphin unfriendly tuna>

see, they are meant to be intelligent but they are hitmen also! shock

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 15:24:58

AuntieMonica You mean there's a cetacean version of Richard Littlejohn spouting about about publicly-funded, gay-only mackerel-hunting frenzies held in parts of oceans owned by all of us, not just the rubbery woofters with sinister smiles, yet cordoned off with nylon ropes.

Oooh, I said spout and rubber and ropes. <<Quiver>> Oooh, I just said quiver.

Agree about Ross being creepy and controlling.

It's because he was the favoured child, you know. [winks]

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 15:25:53

Maybe we should stick to land mammals? Thus avoiding the tricky question of rapist ducks and homophobic dolphins?

And I'm still not convinced that baby baa lambs are wiry. Just look at the pic that Abs posted, does that look wiry to you?

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 15:25:56

Ooh spooky Claire - "We need pinot to come post pics of her kittens to restore balance" - and as if by magic I appear!

I NEED A FLYING CARPET.

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 15:28:37

Yay! Pinot's here!

very envy of you getting to stroke a kitten as part of the experiment.

Chickens are soft, but their beaks aren't.

Oh sorry, that's not a mammal. Hmm.

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 15:30:12

not quite the same, limited but i fear similar wink

yes, can we look at some kittens please pin0t

how were your jollies btw?

Timpson Thu 11-Aug-11 15:30:13

Is it time to bring out the finger monkey yet?

Claire

Lambs feel like carpet. Or badly matted hair. They are not fluffy. smile

Abs Go look at my pics, you can 'feel' the fluffiness through the images !

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 15:31:03

Camels appear to have velvety noses but I don't know for sure because their teeth put me off. And they spit. And they all have syphilis, according to DH.

A keeper at the London Zoo camel house once gave me a bag of camel hair on a school trip. My mum was so pleased when I got it home and opened it.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 15:31:20

Finger monkey saves the day!

Finger monkey very sweet.

Timpson Thu 11-Aug-11 15:32:53

exhibit B

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 15:33:04

Pinot have you been away? I could have kittensat! I would have returned them honest. Really.

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 15:33:36

Yay finger monkey!

True mrsdonkey. There's fluffiness all over the place.

Fooffy Thu 11-Aug-11 15:34:47

Bunnies are scratchy and scrabbly.
Ducks are evil.
Dolphins are the Master race.

rays have just about the cutest faces ever so cute

reelingintheyears Thu 11-Aug-11 15:34:55

Finger monkey sounds rude.

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 15:35:04

I would swap my HUSBAND for a finger monkey and want one for Christmas. Santa <snaps fingers>

'Ello Abs my darlin <snogs>

I have sat on a camel and they SMELL. Of weird, wet stuff. And the bloke who helped me up squeezed my bum, but thats another story.

I apologise for all the capitals, I appear to be all LOUD now I'm home (jollies were lush thanks AuntieM - I drank Sud de France dry)

They were, admittedly, much fluffier when they were all puppies and kittens, but still !

Fluffiness personified. grin

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 15:36:44

oooOOoooo - Pinot, YES!

silky Silky is a great descriptionh for some furred creatures.

What else is silky? I think Llama's are probably a bit silky.

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 15:37:19

Claire I've been in France for 3 weeks - I had to wrestle the kittens back off my mother yesterday. A head lock and a sharp kick in the shins did the trick eventually. They've grown though & Meows fur has lost all the kitten fooffy feeling, it's now all shiny & silky like a Timotei advert.

Hi Fooffy smile

You should have raggies, Pin0t.

They never lose the kitten fooffy feeling.

<smug>

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 15:38:45

<snogs pinot back>

sud de france - NICE. I'm heading there soon to be overfed by DP's mom.

don't worry, next time I'll kittensit the kittens and you're not getting them back

startail Thu 11-Aug-11 15:38:58

My tail is fluffy smile

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 15:40:33

My (sadly departed this world) long haired cat was silky, she was described by my lovely niece as 'soft like a bunny rabbit' which was quite a cute description in itself.

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 15:41:23

Llamas are quite silky but not as silky as vicunas, especially in the throat and belly area.

Sadly they are another creature that greets friendly advances with big greeny of surprisingly deadly aim.

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 15:41:31

Where in the south are you going, Abs? Can I come too?! We stay at my inlaws house in Languedoc - the village actually has the brewery for Mont Tauch wines (loud glug noises)...I luff it there. I heart life where bread is a meal and wine is appropriate at any time of day.

MadameDB - raggies are lush, you are vair lucky. What does Rocky feel like?

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 15:42:20

vicuna? Weren't they the baddies in Star Trek? <shows age>

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 15:42:42

oh limited - you made me do a big GUFFAW at syphilitic camels.

Afghan Hounds - they are WELL silky.

OTheHugeManatee Thu 11-Aug-11 15:43:10

We actually have a manatee on MN (OTheHugeManatee) - we should ask her if she's rubbery or not

Nope. Not rubbery. More like the texture of a plush-covered wetsuit.

<nods sagely>

<slips back under the trackless waves of the AIBU Straits>

Timpson Thu 11-Aug-11 15:44:55

Agree Finger Monkey does sound rude - but not as much as the Latin name for the Common Shrew - Sorex araneus

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 15:44:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 15:45:23

Provence. Erm, yeah, you could. It would be a bit awkward. you could bring the kittens! but they'd have to fight it out with DP's cat.

thanks Manatee. That was very educational

superjobee Thu 11-Aug-11 15:45:27

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!! finger monkey!! is that a marmosat/set thingymibob? so fecking cyoooooooooot!!

Pin0t

Rocky 'feels' silky ? is the best way I can describe it.

He is becoming a very handsome young cock, he is slowly but surely getting a very yellow head !

Did you like the muttleys ?!

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 15:45:42

"I just stroked my fish"

ARF!

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 15:46:01

I just wanted to say again, how very much I love this thread.

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 15:47:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 15:48:11

Do you think pandas are fluffy or wiry?

Wiry.

Probably a bit like my sibes fur. Looks very fluffy, but when they are changing coats, feels actually quite rough.

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 15:49:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 15:49:58

I think pandas are really a mass conspiracy. They're all animatronic. Ergo, they feel like synthetic fur like on a FurReal toy.

OTheHugeManatee Thu 11-Aug-11 15:50:20

<reappears above waves>

<eats StrandedBear 's fish>

<dives>

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 15:50:29

Panda's are wiry.

<gavel>

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 15:51:54

i hate animatronics.

especially human-like ones <shudders>

i think pandas feel like really cheap gonks <shows age>

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 15:52:06

Pin0t

The only 'soft' FR toy I know is 'Butterscotch'. All the others are horrible.

Pandas are cute though. Who remembers the sneezing baby that made Mummy jump ?

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 15:52:26

i thought manatee's were veggie?

That is toooooo cute, Claire !

Mummy/Daddy looks so proud......like a Simba moment !

Fooffy Thu 11-Aug-11 15:53:10

Hi Pinot, nice to see you back. smile

Hoping against hope that Fooffy in this instance once again doesn't allude to a Fanjo.

Fanjos aren't silky.

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 15:53:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 15:54:05

Aww yeah the sneezing panda cub. That was squeeeeeee worthy. Fake though, obvs.

DS2 once wanted the animatronic Triceratops - I swear when it moved in John Lewis I did a bit of wee. Hateful things. (And it was £300) (So it stayed at JL)

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 15:55:29

Fooffy I never allude to fanjo's <clutches pearls> I is a lady innit.

BarbiesBeaver Thu 11-Aug-11 15:55:43

I like ducklings but it makes me want to cry when they fall on their backs and do that bicycle pedalling motion. I have to hide when that happens on "You've Been Framed".

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 15:56:47

Naw Claire that otter mama is sweet! That raises the cute quota nicely.

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 15:56:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I got Butterscotch off ebay. No bloody way was I paying £200 ! 'She's' nice, but not that nice !

DD luffs her though, that's the main thing.

I have seen the dino.....scary as hell !

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 15:56:56

Aw Claire - that is ADORABLE. Look He looks like he's squeezing it to death giving it a lovely lovely cuddle.

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 15:57:54

Hair combed by virgins from the belly of the vicuna has been used for centuries to spin cloth of such surpassing softness that eastern potentates would willingly pay all the gold in their kingdoms, plus some from the vanquished kingdom next door, just to buy one pair of gossamer-fine underpants to caress the buttocks of their favourite catamite.

That's what it says in my leaflet from the Vicuna Marketing Board.

BarbiesBeaver Thu 11-Aug-11 15:57:55

Bear I think Beavers are wirey <snigger>.

I have actually spent most of this afternoon (besides being on here) watching 'youtube' clips of 'talking cats' with DS.

Tres amusee !

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 15:58:13

<fnar> @ Shirls

I think pandas have to be the same as other bears (they are just bears really, even though they paid extra for the fancy paint job). Did we decide bears were fuzzy or wiry?

Shirley ! <snort>

I likened it to The Lion King, when they introduce Simba to the world.

Completely spoiled it for me now.

AMum

Pandas are not actually bears.

Useless fact for you. smile

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 16:01:51

What about red pandas? They're cute so must be fluffy.

We need more velvety really.

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 16:02:04

I don't think the bear issue has been cleared up yet AMum. I was pushing for Polar Bears to be in the "hairy" category...but arguably they might be silky.

Oh God, I just don't KNOW anymore

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 16:03:31

There's a youtube clip (will post later as I can't access YT at work), of a mother cat hugging a kitten, then the kitten has a nightmare, so the mother hugs it more. Cutest. Thing. Ever.

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 16:03:42

i'm a bit sad this little fella isn't velvety enough

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 16:03:54

Pumas/mountain lions surely must be velvety?

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 16:04:47

AM he's in the bristly list I'm afraid.

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 16:04:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

How do you link to pics like that ?

I am so useless at all this....

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 16:06:17
AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 16:06:59

he can be whatever the fuck he wants to be, Claire i'm not going to argue!

I wouls say velvety, yes.

What about an adult tiger ? Do you think they would be velvety ?

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 16:08:18

A Panda Bear is not a bear?

<reels>

*would, sorry

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 16:08:51

Who would have thought that a thread pondering the relative fluffiness of different animals could get to 260 posts ...

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 16:08:57

I've just discovered pygmy goats. Silky. Cuuuuuuuuute.

I've heard things about ducks. Not wanting to de-rail, but <whispers> is it true they're sex offenders?!

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 16:09:27

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw4KVoEVcr0 This is Abs cat/kitten video - it's on my kitten thread toooooo]

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 16:09:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 16:09:52
ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 16:10:55

I want a Pygmy goat.

No I'm pretty sure Giant Pandas are (genetically speaking) bears. And Red Pandas are raccoons IIRC. At least that's what genetics was saying 20 years ago when I studied that sort of thing. I suppose they may have changed their minds again of course!

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 16:11:27

Cats - noses and ears velvety, tum fluffy and often silky.

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 16:11:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 16:12:41

Anyone willing to volunteer to try and stroke a tiger's tummy to see if it's fluffy? I'm still traumatised after trying to zerbert our cat's stomach and having him remove part of my ear.

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 16:13:49

The only thing I know about polar bear hair is that it's not white but colourless. I think it's hollow, too, for insulation purposes, but please don't quote me on that.

I do know for a fact that one mouthful of a polar bear's liver would fell an elephant owing to its toxic levels of vitamin A.

<<Leafs through childhood copy of Wildlife of the Arctic>> <<Page on elephants seems to have gone missing>>

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 16:14:07

I think that mountain lions are probably prickly rather than velvety.

The pig in a tea cup - although micro pigs are lovely and cute they are BRISTLY not velvety.

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 16:15:04

i know Abs, but it's been a fabulous antidote smile

a bit like the fb event, 'anti-riot - have a cup of tea'

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 16:15:37

Polar bears are HOLLOW?

Timpson Thu 11-Aug-11 16:17:20

i wonder if the police released a load of puppies, miniature pigs and finger monkeys during the riots it would quell them a bit (apols for mentioning the R word)....like the policeman with the sooty puppet behind his riot shield....

Aww cute kitten.

AMum

In 1870, scientists examined a (giant) panda skeleton and decided it was more like that of a raccoon. This is because some features resemble the Red Panda, that had previously been grouped with raccoons.

The GP looks like a bear but does not behave like one. It does not hibernate, and rarely roars.

Recent studies indicate that bears are the pandas nearest relatives, hence
why we call them bears.

It would appear that it is a subject up for debate !

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 16:18:32

Yes, shirley except for at easter when they have chocolates in them.

Timpson Thu 11-Aug-11 16:18:34

PMSL at Hollow Polar Bears - like white chocolate ones....

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 16:18:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 16:19:42

Every day is a school day on MN.

<pulls Abs pigtails>

I think I read somewhere that Polar bear fur isn't white, in the true sense ?

Something about them having black skin, which makes the fur appear white ?

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 16:20:36

Only some big cats can roar, tiger, lion, leopard and jaguar. The rest can't.

I would be up for stroking a tiger's tummy.

Growing up I would have loved to have been Joy and George Adamson's daughter !

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 16:22:42

That would be the reason why small cats are more popular as domestic pets, not the big ones.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 16:23:38

I would like to stroke a snow leopard.

Actually I'd like to see a wild, pure Scottish wildcat most of all on my list of cat 'want to dos'. Yes I do have such list.

Yup, the PB skin is black, allowing them to absorb heat.

The fur is translucent and hollow, and allows heat and light through, trapping warm air.

Sometimes in zoos, the fur traps algae and the PB's coat can have a green tinge. In the wild, it often appears yellow, which is from oil stains from seals.

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 16:24:25

the policeman with the sooty puppet behind his riot shield....

Timpson, please say there be a You Tube clip of this.

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 16:24:27

Number 4 on my list is steal cuddle pinots kittens.

Wildcat ClaireDeLoon? I'd settle for seeing a live badger or red squrriel.

Saw my first wild (non Richmond park) deer last year, t'was magical!

Mrs DB - interesting, sounds like there's some overlap there.

On a cuter note baby animals and more cute animals

Why don't the police just print some piccies out and stick them to the front of their riot shields. WHo could attack someone with a picture of a bunny on him?

Timpson Thu 11-Aug-11 16:25:57

My 'want to do' is to see a Basking Shark in the wild....

....i wonder what they feel like?

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 16:26:05

is not be. Arrgh, Jim lad, where's my parrot?

Speaking of parrots, we've already ruled out non-mammalian species, haven't we?

Timpson Thu 11-Aug-11 16:28:42

Limited - sadly no. It's on hearsay only from a fivelive interview. Apparently they were all in a row with shields facing what was basically a bunch of angry kids and the cop in the middle produced a sooty puppet over the top of his shield. It was a rioter they interviewed so likely to be true.

AMum Yes, very interesting, cannot find any more info. unfortunately !

The huskies in your second collection of pics is what mine looked like as pups ! Many years ago !

Afternoon, Woman ! grin

Hello Donkey!!

I had extra rasins in my museli this morning, made me think of you & your grapeless nutless grape nuts! grin

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 16:32:55

Arf at Sooty.

AMum - thanks for those links, I've already lost quite a lot of time to Cuteaddict.com, today is definitely a write-off!

On the positive side I now have a list of all the animals I would like as pets.

1. Lionhead rabbit
2. Sea otter. Will jkeep it in the paddling pool.
3. Finger monkey
4. Pygmy goat
5. Manatee. May need a bigger paddling pool.

Timpson Thu 11-Aug-11 16:33:07

AMUM - why on earth are those chicks all a different colour?? confused

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 16:34:50

<pulls out tongue at Pinot>

So these big cats that can roar, do they make fun of the ones that can't?

giraffes can't make any noise. They don't have a voice box, but they do make noises with their neck. And it's hilarious watching them trying to put their head down to drink water.

Yep, Woman, I had my bird grit, like a good, regular girl should ! grin

I had a lionhead rabbit, Scrambled. He was called Merlin, because with his little tuft of fur, he looked like a wizard !

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 16:36:16

Love that idea AMum. And if they do still attack, we know they're heartless bastards.

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 16:36:42

shock <clutches kittens to my bosom to evade theft>
grin

Timpson Thu 11-Aug-11 16:38:42

<steals Pin0t's bosom>

Timpson - I have no idea! I guess maybe they were at a petting zoo or something?

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 16:40:08

grin @ the idea of baby animals on riot police shields.

God, if we'd only got together before the riots we'd have been able to do something.

OH THE FUTILITY

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 16:40:11

i think a cheetah's 'call' is rather pathetic for such a killing machine too grin

<lowers tone to killing and violence again>

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 16:40:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scrambled, I have a lionhead cross..they make amazing (although slightly skittish) pets!

My DH has said no to a goat, a ferret, pigs, chickens and a llama. Although we live in a two bed flat atm, so a llama is probably slightly ambitious.

I wanted goats, and donkeys.

I thought it would be a good way to keep the grass down.

But to no avail. DH says no.

Git.

You wait till I win the lottery. wink

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 16:42:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 16:43:35

donkeys aren't velvety though are they?

when if i win the lottery, i'll buy you some, mrsdonkey

<ponders irony of poster's NN>

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 16:44:00

When I win the lottery the first thing I'm going to do is punch Jeremy Kyle and the second thing will be to buy some guinea pigs.

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 16:45:17

Ferrets don't half whiff though!

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 16:45:29

envy at mrsdonkeybucket and Awomancalledhorse. I only ever had lops, had no idea lionheads even existed.

I will buy one. I will call him Leroy. Even if he's female.

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 16:46:16

I want chickens, but DH is scared of them. Says they're dinosaurs or summat confused.

Bear, get a giant rabbit & tell DP it's a tiny shetland pony.

Job done.

Donkey, I'd love a donkey too, but their faces always look so sad that I'd invite into the dining room at dinner, so he felt happier.

Shirley, when I win the lottery could I pay you to punch Jeremy Kyle on my behalf? He's going to America to film a show over there, so there's a holiday in it for you too!

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 16:47:26

Awoman, I currently want kittens, a baby lynx, penguins and a couple of baby meerkats, and live in a one bed flat. Two bed is luxurious! (sent an email to DP today with the pet shopping list and said "I think we might need to look at properties with a garden. And a pool - i don't want the penguin living in the bath")

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 16:49:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 16:50:45

Meerkats! Yes!!!

<adds to list>

story about the multicoloured chicks - apparently they put a harmless dye into the eggs. The colour doesn't last long though, so you'd be disappointed if you bought a bright pink one then a few weeks later it was just ordinary chicken-coloured!

Bear, I can see where the LL was coming from, fish are renowned for chewing skirting boards & tearing up carpets.
Although they usually only do it when they can blame it on another pet, like a dog.

Penguins are lovely! Plus with the whole pregnant waddle thing I've got, I won't feel as self-concious. Will ask DH when he gets home (whenever that will happen)!

ShirleyKnot Thu 11-Aug-11 16:52:19

Awoman - I would do it for free TBH.

Joolyjoolyjoo Thu 11-Aug-11 16:52:45

I have read this thread and have a few comments/ observations

1. If any of you (god forbid) do have the urge to make love with a guinea pig, be aware that they make the oddest (and slightly unnnerving!) noises throughout!

2. My friend has a pond, and says that frogs also indulge in gang rape/ orgy behaviour, often cumulatiing with the poor female drowning shock And frogs are definitely slippery.

3. Rex rabbits are oh-so velvety, and in fact are the only thing more velvety than a beagle puppy's ears. And they (rex rabbits) have the most adorable curly whiskers

4. Am upset to hear about the malicious behaviour of dolphins. feel a bit let down by them now. I bet they have been jeering at porpoises for years and knocking their glasses off, because they're not so popular sad

5. My nurse has an angora rabbit- far far cuter and fluffier than a lionhead smile so there.

What is the name of the breed of chickens that look like they're wearing fluffy legwarmers?

Google can't work it on based on the above question hmm

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 16:54:37

We visited here, the penguin sanctuary bit (we didn't go swimming with them unfortunately). next time ...

Aww, AuntieM Thank you !

I would have to have 2, as otherwise I would worry he would be lonely. Unless you also bought a huge plot of land to build me a lovely house with an extra bit for the donkey to visit.

NN is not relevant to donkeys at all ! Comes from a CBBC show. blush

'Big Babies'. "Donkey bucket" is used as an insult. DCs and I found it thoroughly amusing.

Scrambled. You just cannot call a female lionhead Leroy. How about Lucinda ? grin

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 16:56:11

Yes a chicken is a direct descendant from the T-Rex <nods sagely> I read it. In a newspaper and everyfink.

We had a lionhead rabbit - it was lovely. Think it was a boy, so HE was lovely.

Oooh, oooh how about an Angora Goat ?

Fluffy and cuts the grass. Cute and has a purpose !

Suncottage Thu 11-Aug-11 16:57:16

Does a bat's wing feel leathery or rubbery?

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 16:57:21

silkies? (legwarmer chicken)

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 16:58:25

joolyjoolyjoo Is a Beagles ears more velvety (velvetyer?) than a Vizslas ears? Huh? Huh?

(Note - I think my vizsla is perfection personified)

Timpson Thu 11-Aug-11 16:58:45

suncottage - leathery and quite smooth (but i have only felt a dead one)....

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 16:58:48

Are a beagles ears.

Dammit.

Joolyjoolyjoo Thu 11-Aug-11 16:59:01

OMG- I had no idea! its true!

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 16:59:37

Agree with Timpson - we rescued a baby one on holiday 3 years ago. Le Bat. Bless.

Yep bats wings are leathery, but quite fragile-feeling too. I picked up a live one once, which had got stuck in a church during renovation works. We popped it in a box and left if with the verger to take outside once it got dark!

Joolyjoolyjoo Thu 11-Aug-11 17:02:47

Those chickens are silkies

And pinot, on a velvetiness scale of 1-10, while I concur that a visla's ears may well be an 8.5, beagles ears are a 9.7. And I am an expert, and must therefore be right

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 17:04:33

<weeps>

<uses vizsla pups ears to dry tears>

<notes how extraordinarily velvety they are>

wink

Abs THANK YOU!! That's the one!!

Donkey, posted another picture of our lionhead cross (called Lela) looking fluffy & ginger eared!

What's the worst feeling animal you've touched?
My vote is for Sea Cucumber, freaky vegetable bastards.

Pin0t Thu 11-Aug-11 17:05:45

That silkies link is how I look after a night out.

Woman Lela is gorgeous !

Worst feeling ? I think it has to be a snake. I don't like them anyway, and I haven't held one for years but the memory.

Urgh. <shudders>

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 17:11:31

Aw, Mrsdonkey I've always wanted a pet called Leroy sad. I want to stand in the park with all the other owners and their Hectors/Oscars/Bathshebas (really) and shout 'LEROY'!

Maybe Leronda?

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 17:12:20

I have begged and begged and begged DP to help me steal a highland coo calf when we're in Scotland but he won't let me. I bet they are very fluffy in a silky way.

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 17:13:41

And yes, I have used my poor bunnies as dog substitutes. DH hates dogs.

Joolyjoolyjoo Thu 11-Aug-11 17:16:55

The worst feeling animals I have ever touched? Close run thing between

skinny pigs

and swans. With lice. Big lice, that crawl all over your hands. and once you see one, you realise there are 10,000 shock

the worst thing that has touched me, on the other hand, was a big gropey elephant trunk which came in through the sunroof of our jeep and had a good feel around with its hairy prehensile snout- eeeek!

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 17:17:15

Agree with snake.

and elephant - I rode an elephant last year on my birthday (that will really take some topping this year!) and it freaked me out.

I'm a delicate soul me

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 17:20:52

No to penguins as household pets.

Their shit streaks out in a jet. If you fed them one part fish to two parts lighter fuel you could use them as makeshift flamethrowers in the event of attack by zombies or looters (probably the same). In that event I might let them live in the bath.

Sorry for mentioning the L-word.

Otters are really stinky which is a shame because I sometimes think I'd like to be reincarnated as one. Being an otter looks like fun. My own stink wouldn't bother me but the smell of the others would get me down a bit.

Meerkats are sinister.

Snakes are just wrong. They just are. Horrible things. They are ugly, and they feel bleurgh.

Scrambled Leronda is much better ! Or Lerondie ?! grin

ClaireDeLoon Thu 11-Aug-11 17:24:18

I could never touch a snake. Or lizard. Or giant hairy spider.

I don't think I've ever touched an unpleasant animal because why would you when there are fluffy ones around?

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 17:30:37

jooly I didn't know that about swans shock.

I used to live near Theydon Bois, Essex, which is populated by the some most irritating, busybody snobs on Earth. Sorry, if anyone lives there but come on, you must admit it.

They were thrilled when a pair of swans set up home in their village pond almost certainly because it would be wonderful for property prices. It's not a village, btw, but that's another moan.

The swans set about liquidating the pond of all other species. I wouldn't have let a small dog or child get too close either.

Then another swan, a male, set up home too. Instead of driving off his rival the initial male cosied up to him in the manner of those dolphins we were discussing earlier.

The female hopped it. Theydon Bois deserved a pair of vicious gay swans swaggering about the village green.

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 17:33:01

"Their shit streaks out in a jet. If you fed them one part fish to two parts lighter fuel you could use them as makeshift flamethrowers in the event of attack by zombies or looters (probably the same). In that event I might let them live in the bath."

You redeemed penguins right there! imagine, your property's being threatened. You send the penguin out. It waddles over, poos, you throw a lighted match and KABOOM

I had no choice about the snake. I was wearing a summer dress, very thin material, at a school fete thing.

Someone in the 'reptile room' told me to sit down, and placed this 'baby' python on my lap.

It makes me feel a bit sick thinking about it now. I get goose bumps all over. They are warm(ish) which you kind of don't expect, and although they aren't, they 'feel' slimy.

I certainly didn't stroke it !

Never, ever, again.

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 17:38:53

I storked a tarantula once. It was at some sort of 'kids, meet the creepy bastards' event at a zoo. Was furry, not unpleasant. I got some a bit of sloughed-off snakeskin to take home with me.

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 17:39:11

Stroked blush

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 17:40:50

arf @ storking a triantula

yes, i said triantula grin

from the same dictionary as skellington and umberella

Joolyjoolyjoo Thu 11-Aug-11 17:44:12

Loving the vicious gay swans grin I can see them now, mincing about the village, criticising people's interior decorating!

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 17:45:20

Agree mrsdonkey - it's the warmth that's freaky. And also they're so muscly

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 17:46:10

LOVE the gay swans as pay back.

Mwah ha ha.

Apparently there's a very vicious goose in St James Park in Lahndahn.

A grey squirrel bit me in Holland Park, Kensington for trying to feed it a Quaver.
Ungrateful little Yank.

Nature is very dangerous, Geese hissing is possibly the scariest nosie ever.

DioneTheDiabolist Thu 11-Aug-11 17:53:18

I read Watership down. They are not fluffy or velvety. They are nasty, violent, facist rapists.

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 18:06:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frogs indulge in some very questionable behaviour. That's why it's called frogs porn wink

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 18:27:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StrandedBear Thu 11-Aug-11 18:27:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 19:53:39

I'll take that vicious goose in St James's Park and raise you a cannibal pelican Abs. It scoops up pigeons whose death struggles in its pouch are viewed with dread fascination by tourists clutching their toddlers by their side.

Actually, its neck pouch is a bit Burchillian. But that's for another thread.

Donner Thu 11-Aug-11 20:33:29

This ones not a rapist!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSFB2ytWJLQ&feature=related

Oh my goodness gracious me, i want one of these and my rough brutish toddlers are never getting a shot!

LadyBeagleEyes Thu 11-Aug-11 21:22:34

Beagles have the velvetiest ears ever.
Tarantulas are fluffy, I also stroked one once. Think fluffy hamster.
It's the eight horrible legs that put you off, they're ok if they're sitting perfectly still but they scurry along in a horrible spidery way.
If they had little bunny legs they could be quite cute.
<shivers at the memory>

Abs

Muscly ! What a good word !

Not what I want when I am holding something against my will that could, potentially, kill me !

AuntieMonica Thu 11-Aug-11 21:25:33

but some have hairs they shoot at you, in manner of poison darts! shock

There were vicious geese in our local park.

So vicious were the little sods, there was a campaign and they got moved. They were literally terrorising the local families, which doesn't make feeding the ducks a fun pastime !

Having said that, I think there is also a sign now asking people to not feed the ducks, as they are getting too fat !

AuntieM

Lovely !

<passes out at seeing Scrambled willingly has snake skin in the home>

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 21:31:29

There's also dive-bombing pigeons or one that accidentally flew into my face in Green Park.

That's another one - PIGEON. They feel awful. They're just filthy and covered in grossness

Pigeons = Rats with wings. grin

MadameLupino Thu 11-Aug-11 21:34:51

My ducks used to eat frogs, it made the frogs squeak really quite loudly.

And my rabbits are not fluffy or velvety, they are crispy like a wank mitten because they have overpowering homosexual love for one another. I would wash them but it's too cold so crispy they stay.

AbsDuCroissant Thu 11-Aug-11 21:35:14

Now, imagine that flying into your face.





exactly

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 21:45:18

grin mrsdonkey I was 10! I'm pretty sure that snakeskin has either crumbled to dust or was put in the rubbish by my mum years ago. I did think it was pretty cool though, and was indeed the envy of all my friends for about 48 hours!

No, pigeons are lovely. They're friendly and plump. The fetid things we have in London are actually Rock Doves.

<snaps out of encyclopedia mode>

Holland Lops are cuuuuuuute! Me want! <melts>

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 21:51:33

Rabbits are keen on the homosexual love <nods sagely>. Interspecies not a problem either. We looked after a friend's guinea pig and rabbit (both male).while said friends were on holiday. The rabbit was buggering the poor guinea pig so vigourously and frequently that the guinea pig was going bald with stress.

We seperated them, and the guinea pig perked up no end! Bunny didn't really notice he was gone and proceeded to roger his seed bowl on a regular basis confused.

Abs

I feel your pain. Must have been a most unpleasant experience.

I would have been gargling mouthwash and spitting for days. Also carting round a huge plant spray filled wirth acid to 'get' any subsequent flying rats that I saw !

Scrambled Oh, OK, I'll let you off then !

Still gross. Why would anyone want the dead skin of anything ?

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 22:12:27

mrsdonkey, because when you're 10 it's awesome! Just ask a passing 10 year old grin.

No, it's dirty and wrong.

You DO NOT touch dead skin.

Dirty people you know ! grin

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 22:21:27

If it makes it any better it wasn't off a dead snake, it just sloughed it off when it outgew it.

<clutching at straws>

Nope, no better ! I know how snakes shed !!

(I'm no' a ficko, I'm no') grin

<thinks Scrambled should give up trying to justify disgustingness>

<<thinks 'disgustingness' might not even be a word but doesn't care>>

wink

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 22:34:29

You are right mrsdonkey. I am ashamed of my digustingness.

<cries a little>

Joolyjoolyjoo Thu 11-Aug-11 22:36:55

Aw scrambled, one of my dad's friends in the US showed me a rattle from a rattlesnake once when I was 9, and I thought it was "well cool" I'll bet a 10 yo me would have been duly impressed by your snakeskin!

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 22:52:13

<nuzzles Jooly>

'Fank you smile.

I don't have a snakeskin (but I'd like one if it was a British species for school) but I do have a little crunchy collection of eggshells and skulls and bits of creatures that DD finds, tufts of bloody fur and the like. I try to steer her away from roadkill but she did once try to rescue a beak from a very flat blackbird. That's probably more disgusting that you ScrambledSmegs, don't worry. grin

<cuddles Scrambled>

Offers wine

Only havin' a larf ! smile

limitedperiodonly Thu 11-Aug-11 23:08:46

madamelupino you have traumatised me in ways I cannot describe. I'll call Injury Lawyers 4 U when I wake up 2morro and u can xpekt a rit.

abs london pigeons suffer from a distressing condition called bumblefoot which is a recognised avian podiatry disease ranging from the loss of toes to the torching of your nest by people who once read the News Of The World with their tongues poking out of the side of their mouths and thought you was a peedo.

Most of those people now tweet @Sky News.

ScrambledSmegs Thu 11-Aug-11 23:10:04

<guzzles wine>

Thanks for the wine and cuddle mrsdonkey.

Sue, your DD's collection sounds like art. Surely she will be the next Tracey Emin?

No, she is a ghoul grin. Obsessed with creatures in a very scientific way.
Actually, maybe Damien Hirst?

She could be looking after Mum very well when she's older then, Sue ? smile

Is ghoulish though !

ClaireDeLoon Thu 18-Aug-11 13:34:03

I am resurrecting this thread with the lovely news of an otter resurgence (sp?).

here

I can't remember if we decided that they were fluffy or velvety but the hand holding ones were very cute and I thought you'd all like to know.

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