To never leave my house again, never ever ever.

[Megatron]

OK first of all can I just say that I am not some mentalist who normally does this kind of thing but both DC's are out for tea tonight so DH on our own.

DH has a habit of running through the house bare chested beating his chest shouting instructions (I know, I know). It's funny. Sometimes. So this evening I thought it would be hilarious if I did the same, so I duly stripped to the waist and ran downstairs into the living room waving my arms in the air shouting ....... to find DH sitting talking to the plumber who had kindly popped round to discuss the new central heating we are having installed.

I don't know which part of this whole debacle is the worst. The fact that DH just sat there with his gob wide open, the fact that I just kept running through to the kitchen then hid in the utility room until he was gone, the fact that this man is going to spend almost a week in my house shortly, or the fact that he lives directly across the road from me and his wife cuts my hair.

DH cannot look at me without pissing himself laughing and if he keeps this up I'm he's going to rupture something vital. Does anyone think there's the slightest chance that perhaps the plumber did not notice? Please?

[MadameLupino]

Oh, I doubt if he noticed, don't worry

[Unlurked]

I think you're going to have to move house.

And possibly change your name.

[TheOriginalFAB]

You are my hero!!

You will be the talk of the village because you are such a good sort.

Listen, it will be old news soon. You did nothing wrong and if anyone says anything, cut your DH's bollocks off as he is all his fault.

[Shutupanddrive]

Haha that is the best thing I have heard for a long time! Better get yourself a and pretend it never happened. Mention you have a twin sister maybe when he comes round? Haha do keep us informed

[thestringcheeseincident]

Oh that is DIRE. poor poor you.

[Megatron]

That's the thing FAB I do live in a village. It was about an hour ago and I bet every bugger knows already. I'm mortified beyond words.

[susiedaisy]

Soooooo funny

[catgirl1976]

Brilliant! I don't know you but I am PROUD of you. Excellent work :)

[scotchmist]

i heard the outer hebrides is quite remote, you could always move there

[picnicbasketcase]

Sorry.


If it gets mentioned, say you did it as a drunken dare?

[BellaBearisWideAwake]

You ate going to have to spend the whole week he's there half naked in a nonchalant manner, so he thinks it's what you do normally

[caffevalium]

Last minute flight to Brazil and a shitload of plastic surgery?

I love your style!

[ThatVikRinA22]

you made a poorly vicar tonight....

[EcoLady]

You've just made my day Thank you.

I'd go for saying it was a dare.

[GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoDuck]

Nothing makes me properly laugh this close to the dc's bedtime but you managed it - thank you

[MissVerinder]

That is so funny. You're an absolute star. I'm sure he didn't notice...

[Megatron]

He must think I'm mental. I just kept running and waving and shouting ....god it's too awful. Incidentally if I were a young nubile 20 year old I may not be so bothered but those days are long gone. I fear I may have carpet burns on my nipples, if you get my meaning.

[joric]

LMHO!!! Brilliant!!
Oh poor you! :(

[magicmelons]

Oh dear god, I feel your pain, my toes are curling with the cringyness. I know this doesn't help but it is hilarious. You need to act as if you couldn't give a toss, its the only way.


Brilliant.

[BongoWinslow]

Fantastic!

Makes me feel a lot better about my skirt falling down at a work function last week. I made DH watch numerous reconstructions to see how much people would have seen. Verdict - thank heaven you were wearing all black with big black knickers...

I reckon brazen it out, if anyone laughs, laugh with them because it's bloody funny. That's going to be my approach. That and not wearing maternity skirts 10 months after giving birth ever again...

[GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoDuck]

I just tried to read that to dh but I couldn't get to the end for laughing - he was pissing himself too very sympathetic.

[notlettingthefearshow]

That's hilarious!

Your neighbour and his wife will have a chuckle and may think you're mad or may just think what good fun the two of you obviously have. I doubt they would spread the story.

It will fade with time. Not a lot you can do in the meantime.

[joric]

When you see him, give him a wink and I bet you he'll never meantion it - men are after all, meant to be the 'shy' species.

[izzywhizzyletsgetbusy]

You've got to leave your house no later than tomorrow morning as the only way to salvage your dignity is to take yourself off for a delicious spa experience couple of weeks and get dh to let it be known to the plumber and his wife that you've been checked into the Priory.

Or you could plant Pampas grass in your front garden.

Are you due to have your hair done soon? If so I suggest you wait a while as, if she's anything like me, Mrs Plumber the Hairdresser is going to be laughing so hard she won't be able to cut straight around a pudding basin.

[ivykaty44]

Just tell the plumber your dh dared you and is now sulking as his forfiet is worse than yours - then smile and nod knowingly.