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DH SHOUTED AT ME

(141 Posts)
Dorkee Mon 18-Jul-11 22:01:07

the coffee was in the flask but i didnt want sugar and i pulled the cup and the sogar went all over the car and dh shouted at me and the bikers were watching and i didnt want sugar.

usualsuspect Mon 18-Jul-11 22:01:42

leave him

MissVerinder Mon 18-Jul-11 22:02:54

Ooooh, he's a bugger. Did you seek solace in the leathery scent of a well honed biker?

AgentZigzag Mon 18-Jul-11 22:03:07

Good job you didn't want any sugar if it all went over the car.

mauricetinkler Mon 18-Jul-11 22:03:17

ditto above - deal breaker.

2shoes Mon 18-Jul-11 22:03:49

....

Jacksmania Mon 18-Jul-11 22:03:50

Leave the bastard.

PeopleCallMeTricky Mon 18-Jul-11 22:04:11

Was there a shower curtain involved? shock

bubblesincoffee Mon 18-Jul-11 22:04:43

Um.. YANBU?

Goblinchild Mon 18-Jul-11 22:04:51

Was he driving at the time? I yell when I'm driving and a passenger does something seriously stupid.

Macaroona Mon 18-Jul-11 22:05:04

brew

Summerbird73 Mon 18-Jul-11 22:05:08

my DH says you probably deserved it

but yes - leave the fucker

coccyx Mon 18-Jul-11 22:05:17

he needs to see a councillor for his anger issues......quickly

FoundWanting Mon 18-Jul-11 22:05:27

Why doesn't your DH know how you like your coffee?

If you ask me, there are more ishoos here than bikers.

AgentZigzag Mon 18-Jul-11 22:05:52

'Was there a shower curtain involved?'

Mahoosive reading between the lines there tricky grin

Goblinchild Mon 18-Jul-11 22:06:33

shower curtain?
Oh God, don't say I've wandered into one of those insane twilight zone threads with references to literature and tv dhows I've never heard of?
<exit, pursued by confusion>

Goblinchild Mon 18-Jul-11 22:07:23

dhows?
A tough of the surreal there, due to the s and d keys being far too close for comfort.

MugglesandLuna Mon 18-Jul-11 22:07:27

Did he wank on your coursework???

Jacksmania Mon 18-Jul-11 22:07:34

If you can't stand the rain, get out of B.C.

tethersend Mon 18-Jul-11 22:07:36

Oooh is this a series now?

What was the last thread about, I can't quite remember...?

ReadyToDrink Mon 18-Jul-11 22:07:51

Is this the thing where whatshisface likes to sit in the vegetables at the supermarket or something? & there was a dead fly on the windowsill? [I'm getting that slightly muddled, but less than you'd think]

Jacksmania Mon 18-Jul-11 22:08:21

Having said that, the sun just came out, so I have to go.

(Too bad, a thread full of random shite sounds fun grin.)

Jacksmania Mon 18-Jul-11 22:09:01

It is only early afternoon here in case anyone was wondering if I'm pissed or something, no, the sun really just came out. Gotta go to the beach. Bye.

usualsuspect Mon 18-Jul-11 22:09:11

is it the next instalment? was painting involved

MugglesandLuna Mon 18-Jul-11 22:09:55

here

Was the last one, then one before that about the DH getting angry so he wanked all over her coursework.

MissVerinder Mon 18-Jul-11 22:10:10

Have you got enough lard in for him to make it up to you?

Dorkee Mon 18-Jul-11 22:10:39

the sugar wasnt for me it was for dh but i thought it was for me so moved the cup and he tipped the sugar on the car and shouted but the coconut bun was nice

BrianAndHisBalls Mon 18-Jul-11 22:11:03

was this the one about the woman that the op thought the dp was shagging (a neighbour i think) but the op's dh said he wasn't no no no and she threw a cup of tea and it went up the paintwork and she'd just painted and it was white and the neighbour was wearing a pink cardigan??

Or possibly not.

BrianAndHisBalls Mon 18-Jul-11 22:11:36

YES! sOMETHING about a dead fly?? Or wasp??

MugglesandLuna Mon 18-Jul-11 22:11:41

then there was this randomness

These posts are like Gabby in a candy store - random but coated in sugar.

AgentZigzag Mon 18-Jul-11 22:12:07

I loathe coconut.

PeopleCallMeTricky Mon 18-Jul-11 22:12:11

Last time op posted they were in the hospital and he pulled the shower curtain down and he was laughing and his false leg blocked the toilet and it was flooded and they said they might be charged for the damage.
That's from memory so might not be completely accurate.

tethersend Mon 18-Jul-11 22:12:15

That's it, Muggles- how could I have forgotten?

Is the OP asleep?

Should we whisper?

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 22:12:22

But wasn't there Another Woman in that thread - with a name like Denise or something <possibly making that up>

usualsuspect Mon 18-Jul-11 22:12:33

Is he still shagging Sharon?

BrianAndHisBalls Mon 18-Jul-11 22:13:08

oh yes! Sharon, it was Sharon the neighbour!!

FoundWanting Mon 18-Jul-11 22:13:21

And what happened to Tony and his veg?

MugglesandLuna Mon 18-Jul-11 22:13:22
Macaroona Mon 18-Jul-11 22:14:11

I'm not sure if it was Denise - I've been trying to remember her name too. This sounds like it might be all her fault too.

PeopleCallMeTricky Mon 18-Jul-11 22:14:17
Macaroona Mon 18-Jul-11 22:14:34

Sharon! smile

tethersend Mon 18-Jul-11 22:14:57

Does she take sugar?

FoundWanting Mon 18-Jul-11 22:16:00

Sorry, it was Adam on fruit and veg.

Who was Tony? confused

MugglesandLuna Mon 18-Jul-11 22:16:21
prudaloo Mon 18-Jul-11 22:17:09

Is she the coursework-wankers partner????
That was some thread flippin hilarious.grin

tethersend Mon 18-Jul-11 22:17:43

No, that one made too much sense.

bellavita Mon 18-Jul-11 22:19:09

Divorce the bugger

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Mon 18-Jul-11 22:24:08

We didn't spill anything so WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING AT US?

Did you ask the hairy bikers to sweep up the sugar and use it in one of their crumbles?

DuelingFanjo Mon 18-Jul-11 22:24:46

it's like some kind of tourettes!

Fontsnob Mon 18-Jul-11 22:24:53

Arf at coming on the assignment thread. I do remember the dh who threw wine on the white carpet and fancied sharon....who wouldn't. OP, were they motorbikers or pushbikers?

DuelingFanjo Mon 18-Jul-11 22:25:13

sorry if that's tourettes-ist.

Tortington Mon 18-Jul-11 22:26:15

meh - who gives a shit

LadyFlumpalot Mon 18-Jul-11 22:27:40

Was this before or after he re-painted the wall the colour chosen by Adam on fruit and veg because Sharon the "hoor" killed the wasp but the cream carpet wasn't marked?

Annnnnd breathe!

NevermindtheNargles Mon 18-Jul-11 22:27:59

Why are there always fluids? Why can no one keep the fluids where they belong?

NevermindtheNargles Mon 18-Jul-11 22:28:00

Why are there always fluids? Why can no one keep the fluids where they belong?

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 22:29:45

Was it Brown Sugar?
If it was white sugar for coffee then your DH should know better and deserves sugar all over his car. What a fool.

Dorkee Mon 18-Jul-11 22:30:25

he had a bacon, egg and tomato slice and the seagull was on the bin and i took a photo and there was hooligans and an old woman and a nice dog and seagulls and a rowing team.

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 22:31:28

And the bikers hopefully were proper motorcyclists with leather gear <dreams>

NevermindtheNargles Mon 18-Jul-11 22:33:18

The bikers will sort out the hooligans.

bellavita Mon 18-Jul-11 22:33:45

DH had a bacon egg and tomato slice? Was it in a sandwich?

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 22:33:50

<enters details into spreadsheet>
Seagulls? Hmm yes (flying rats) and Oh yes, we all know about old ladies and rowing teams [win]
Was James Cracknell there? <dreams again>

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 22:34:17

wink even!!! <duh>

Dorkee Mon 18-Jul-11 22:34:26

no it was just a slice and the bikers were not at the seaside they were at the little tea shop.

bellavita Mon 18-Jul-11 22:34:42

And the seagulls Nevermind? Don't forget the seagulls...

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 22:35:33

bella - surely it was a Greggs bacon, egg and tomato slice?

Dorkee Mon 18-Jul-11 22:36:18

no it was from the little tea shop

tethersend Mon 18-Jul-11 22:37:01

Do try to keep up, Salmotrutta. Tsk.

bellavita Mon 18-Jul-11 22:37:14

Sal - blush what is a bacon, egg and tomato slice exactly?

What do these OPs get out of this? Do we assume they are bored teenage boys? Haven't they discovered that most porn is free on t'internet?

TiggyD Mon 18-Jul-11 22:38:06

I think this thread raises many important questions.

bellavita Mon 18-Jul-11 22:38:28

You are lucky that the bikers didn't eat them all if they were at the tea shop too. Just out of interest, what did they have?

Are you the same person who a few years ago at Christmas had a weird situation about men coming to look at your decorations?

I think you might be.

Either way, I am equally confused.

bellavita Mon 18-Jul-11 22:39:28

What might those be then Tiggy? grin

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 22:41:28

So we have:
OP and her DH in a car with spilled coffee and sugar (unsure if brown or white sugar)
Bikers in a tea shop
hooligans and a rowing team
an old lady
a nice dog
A photo was taken of a seagull.

It's quite clear to me that the OP has had a day out at an estuary where some hooligan rowers annoyed a seagull. A nice old lady with her dog then intervened and castigated the OPs DH for stressing about coffe and sugar being spilled on his car. The bikers are a red herring.

Greggs sell bacon, tomato and egg slices?

Why have I never seem them?

I tend to stick with the cheese pasties, steak bakes, cheese savoury softies and then a chocolate cream doughnut to wash it down.

LadyFlumpalot Mon 18-Jul-11 22:43:32

Were you at Weymouth?

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 22:44:19

bella - I have no idea what a bacon, egg and tomato slice is. I surmised. Hah!!

NevermindtheNargles Mon 18-Jul-11 22:44:48

Ah, now I see. The seagulls will sort out the hooligans,they are vicious and not to be toyed with. The bikers at the teashop were just there to distract you. The old lady is the key here.

NevermindtheNargles Mon 18-Jul-11 22:44:49

Ah, now I see. The seagulls will sort out the hooligans,they are vicious and not to be toyed with. The bikers at the teashop were just there to distract you. The old lady is the key here.

NevermindtheNargles Mon 18-Jul-11 22:48:13

Salmotrutta - xpost - I'm glad you saw through the bikers' ruse too.

NevermindtheNargles Mon 18-Jul-11 22:48:14

Salmotrutta - xpost - I'm glad you saw through the bikers' ruse too.

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 22:48:50

Yes, yes the old lady is definitely key. Did she have a purple rinse? Was the dog hers? Was she in cahoots with the seagulls or rowing team? Was it the Olympic rowing team?
Why do Greggs not make bacon, egg and tomato slices - surely they should?? They are missing a niche market!!
Were the bikers in leather or not? - this is crucial!!

Dorkee Mon 18-Jul-11 22:51:21

yes the bikers had leather on their legs and willys and backs and there was a sports car and it was red but the man was old and so it was a midlife crisis-mobile and not a cool car like we thought but it didnt have sugar on it but that was at the tea room. The horse was itching its bum on the fence but I thought it was stuck but it was ok it was just itching. it was a horse.

Mandy2003 Mon 18-Jul-11 22:53:28

Oooh, you said willy and bum. I'm telling!!

YR Totally U drinking from a Thermos in a car. That is totally gross.

I want to know more about the bikers (stamps foot!)

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 22:53:38

Was the mid-life crisis man Jeremy Clarkson? I'd like to think so.

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 22:55:23

I don't care about the horse - it probably belongs to Jilly Cooper or someone.

bellavita Mon 18-Jul-11 22:55:41

shock

Tidey Mon 18-Jul-11 22:55:47

Erm... what? I think I've missed something by not looking at MN for a while. Was there a bullock being shot with a bolt gun?

TiggyD Mon 18-Jul-11 22:58:48

I really do think that the questions raised in this thread are really quite massive.

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 23:01:21

Indeed TiggyD - and where are the answers?
No-one is willing to talk about this ............. it's a cover-up.

TiggyD Mon 18-Jul-11 23:04:06

I think we need to address the answer of the questions first.

TiggyD Mon 18-Jul-11 23:05:59

People can ask questions of the answers but until we answer those questions with questions for the answers the answers will always be questioned.

bellavita Mon 18-Jul-11 23:06:10

Did you have biscuits to go with the coffee?

TiggyD Mon 18-Jul-11 23:07:56

Message deleted by seagulls.

NevermindtheNargles Mon 18-Jul-11 23:09:26

The bikers did not have leather on their bums. That is what is crucial. Another distraction technique from the bikers. The old lady and the old man are clearly in it together. I would be looking for a hidden camera on the dog's collar - someone must be keeping an eye on all this, but they can't be there, or they too would be distracted by the bikers' buttocks.

NevermindtheNargles Mon 18-Jul-11 23:09:27

The bikers did not have leather on their bums. That is what is crucial. Another distraction technique from the bikers. The old lady and the old man are clearly in it together. I would be looking for a hidden camera on the dog's collar - someone must be keeping an eye on all this, but they can't be there, or they too would be distracted by the bikers' buttocks.

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 23:10:23

Hmm yes <dons philosophical hat and tents fingers> - I agree Tiggy.

If the OP says they had ginger nuts we are all doomed! shock - standards will have fallen so low it will be impossible to regain the moral high ground.

TuftyFinch Mon 18-Jul-11 23:14:18

I think you have all missed the importance of the tea shop. You're over looking the tea shop. TEA SHOP!! Don't be distracted by the sea gulls, that's just huffnpuff.

NevermindtheNargles Mon 18-Jul-11 23:18:09

True, seagulls are so ominous they make a brilliant smokescreen.

NevermindtheNargles Mon 18-Jul-11 23:18:09

True, seagulls are so ominous they make a brilliant smokescreen.

TiggyD Mon 18-Jul-11 23:18:41

I think the "horse itching it's bum" is a rather obvious commentary on the current climate in the newspaper world. Could the "tea shop" be Andy Coulson?

BathildaSaggshot Mon 18-Jul-11 23:23:49

hmm

TuftyFinch Mon 18-Jul-11 23:24:03

not Andy Coulson. Think bigger. Much bigger. But think about the tea shop. Ignore the sea gulls. Really, you have to.

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 23:26:34

I think you may well be onto something there Tiggy - and the bikers may be the News of the World staff perhaps? Or am I overthinking? As the great Sherlock Holmes once said "Eliminate the possible and you are left with the impossible" Or something.

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 23:27:50

So you think Tea Shop is Murdoch then Tufty?

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 23:28:47

Or, Or - the Commisioner of The Met (or could he be the Old Lady?)

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 23:30:20

"Commissioner" even.

prudaloo Mon 18-Jul-11 23:30:31

Nargles- stop posting everythintwice it's annoyin stop postin everythintwice it's annoyin grin

TuftyFinch Mon 18-Jul-11 23:31:18

Salmotrutta I don't think. I know. it's obvious isn't it? The sea gulls are the journos and the horse is the Rebecca woman. The spilling of the sugar is symbolic. grains of sugar are words.

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 23:32:01

grin - bet it's an iPad/iPhone!

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 23:33:16

Unless it's Brown Sugar (nudge, wink).

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 23:34:35

<wonders why Rebecca Whatsist would be scratching her bum on a fence - does she have worms?>

VivianDarkbloom Mon 18-Jul-11 23:35:29

These threads are my absolute favourite thing about life grin

Amapoleon Mon 18-Jul-11 23:37:04

hahaha!

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Mon 18-Jul-11 23:39:28

Is ^Brown Sugar* running in the next big race, or do the Strolling Bones own the Tea Shop?

TiggyD Mon 18-Jul-11 23:39:46

Of course she has worms Salmotrutta! Have you ever seen somebody with more of an "I've got worms" face than Rebecca Brooks?! Her face practically wiggles!

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Mon 18-Jul-11 23:41:47

Ms Whatsit probably has nits after her visit to the police station or crabs if she powdered her nose while she was there Salmotrutta.

Salmotrutta Mon 18-Jul-11 23:45:41

Izzy - my personal theory is that the Strolling Bones set up the tea-shop as a rival business back in the 60s to annoy The Beatles. It was actually a front for more nefarious activities.

Tiggy - I'll grant you she looks like she has something going on!! And I doubt her hair is natural <sniffs and makes cat's bum face>

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Mon 18-Jul-11 23:47:08
izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Mon 18-Jul-11 23:51:40

Were they selling whisper bootleg mars bars Salmotrutta? No wonder the Fab Four were pissed off annoyed.

Salmotrutta Tue 19-Jul-11 00:03:41

Yes - and other stuff. shock

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Tue 19-Jul-11 00:44:51

shock other stuff shock surely not maltesers too?

ReadyToDrink Tue 19-Jul-11 00:55:44

Did you spill it on the Rainbow videos? Is that the problem?

BimboNo5 Tue 19-Jul-11 05:49:32

Was Sharon and a winey wall involved?

NevermindtheNargles Tue 19-Jul-11 07:33:59

Sorry, bastard blackberry. For what it's worth, it annoys me too.

NevermindtheNargles Tue 19-Jul-11 07:34:00

Sorry, bastard blackberry. For what it's worth, it annoys me too.

TuftyFinch Tue 19-Jul-11 09:02:23

Uh oh. There's a biker on my train. He's eating a cheese slice thing. Should I alert the coastguard?

Salmotrutta Tue 19-Jul-11 09:36:53

Yes! - and the Transport Police!
But is he in leather? Is the Old Lady around? Are you sure it's just a cheese slice??

TuftyFinch Tue 19-Jul-11 09:56:12

Well, I told the man on the platform with the flag thing. I don't think he understood the brevity of the situation. I've hot footed it to work but he followed me. I'm under a desk with a sea gull and a jam doughnut.

Salmotrutta Tue 19-Jul-11 10:01:14

Do NOT go to the Tea Shop - I have it on good authority that there's going to be a raid today.

Pin0t Tue 19-Jul-11 10:03:52

<passes OP her lost punctuation>

TuftyFinch Tue 19-Jul-11 10:18:16

Has anyone tipped off the tea shop about raid? Shouldn't they hide the brown sugar? I'm staying undery desk with the seagull. He's called Nigel. We're friends now. I thought the OP was James Joyce replicating The Dubliners.

TuftyFinch Tue 19-Jul-11 10:20:09

I meant Ulysses of course. I'm blaming the biker.

TiggyD Tue 19-Jul-11 10:25:04

Thought I would gather all the OP's posts in one place to make it easier to understand:

"the coffee was in the flask but i didnt want sugar and i pulled the cup and the sogar went all over the car and dh shouted at me and the bikers were watching and i didnt want sugar.

the sugar wasnt for me it was for dh but i thought it was for me so moved the cup and he tipped the sugar on the car and shouted but the coconut bun was nice

he had a bacon, egg and tomato slice and the seagull was on the bin and i took a photo and there was hooligans and an old woman and a nice dog and seagulls and a rowing team.

no it was just a slice and the bikers were not at the seaside they were at the little tea shop.

yes the bikers had leather on their legs and willys and backs and there was a sports car and it was red but the man was old and so it was a midlife crisis-mobile and not a cool car like we thought but it didnt have sugar on it but that was at the tea room. The horse was itching its bum on the fence but I thought it was stuck but it was ok it was just itching. it was a horse."

NerfHerder Tue 19-Jul-11 10:29:57

Wow- illuminating Tiggy... really edifying.

Salmotrutta Tue 19-Jul-11 10:30:16

Ah, now I see that I have missed the coconut bun! shock

This changes things enormously.................

Thank you Tiggy - things are much clearer now wink

Salmotrutta Tue 19-Jul-11 10:32:43

Could the coconut bun be a metaphor for the OPs yearning for the snow-capped mountains of The North?

Perhaps the Old Lady represents the passage of time and the dog symbolises "Life" yapping at our heels?

TuftyFinch Tue 19-Jul-11 10:54:18

The hooligans could be a prophetic fallacy. The rubbish in the bin is metaphor for the cycle of life. If the tea shop has a door mat someone should check to see of there's an envelope underneath.

I can't work my keyboard to do the bold thing or, now I've started tying, see who gathered OPs posts in one place. Salmotrutta I think your reading of the old lady and the dog is genius.

Poopiefordinneragain Tue 19-Jul-11 11:06:04

Nevertheless, you should still leave him because he shouted.

Poopiefordinneragain Tue 19-Jul-11 11:09:00

I would rather be married to a horse with an itchy bottom.

TuftyFinch Tue 19-Jul-11 11:09:12

Tiggy thank you for the essential gathering.

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