To Steal This Piglet ?

(96 Posts)
AnneWiddecomesArse Mon 18-Jul-11 09:12:17

I've been on a few bike rides with DD and we pass a small farm with a sow and nine little piglets. We've started to take chopped apples for them etc.
Anyway there is this tiny piggy who is obviously the runt. He's the tiniest and gets bullied by the other piglets; and the sow is rather rough/callous with him.
We have a real connection; I just feel it in my water. He looks me straight in the eye and we have empathy.
Can I nick him, stick him in my back pack and keep him ?

I'd post money to the farm after the escape.

MsChanandlerBong Mon 18-Jul-11 10:32:43

I can just see you now on the news... being dragged away by the police/men in white coats "The internet told me to do it!!!"

Bumpsadaisie Mon 18-Jul-11 10:34:56

Ha ha grin

We've got piglets (2 weeks old) and I'm pregnant. It makes me feel all hormonal when I pick them up to give them their vits.

Don't worry, soon enough they'll all either be quite big and not cute anymore or the little runt will have been killed off.

Obviously it is not on to nick someone else's pig (I am sure you are just joking anyway!). But even if you did arrange to buy it, don't take the runt on its own. Pigs don't like being on their own.

PS you are anthropomorphizing just a bit!

AnneWiddecomesArse Mon 18-Jul-11 10:44:12

I'll take a 'photo and you will be able to see the look in his eyes. Actually I don't know if it's a he or a she.
But I'm currently injured. I fell of the bike last week; at a junction; just as a cycle team in lycra were passing on the main road.
I was wearing white linen loose trousers with wide legs. And then I got the leg caught on the back of the pedal as I was stopping and just fell over in front of thirty men with tight shorts.. I have an injured knee (blood) and a split difference.
They nursed me back home.
I won't be out this week as it's cold and rainy. I can only nick the pig on a bright, warm sunny day.

Bumpsadaisie Mon 18-Jul-11 10:49:46

I would nick it on a grey rainy day if I were you - fewer folk around to see the dastardly deed!

Don't wear white linen to do it though ...

HoneyNorwegianRidgebackdragon Mon 18-Jul-11 10:51:09

Right so Mumsnet works as thus based on the last 7 days

Immoral: Purchasing a CD as a gift but ripping it onto iTunes before handing it over is bad, wrong and stealing at it's very worst

Moral: The stealing of valuable farm commodities on the basis of a "connection", is to be positively encouraged

And people wonder why I spend so much time here? grin

Can I suggest a compromise? Download a illegal pirate copy of Babe....Pig related criminal activity from the comfort of your ow home? Might get it out your system.

bewbs123 Mon 18-Jul-11 10:52:02

are you taking the piss? LEAVE THE FARMER'S STOCK ALONE

hate people like you, thinking u own anything u go past, damn thief

AnneWiddecomesArse Mon 18-Jul-11 10:59:09

You can't cuddle a CD.
I just want to cuddle little pig.
I have a totally legit copy of Babe already. It makes me cry; as does Bambi, Dumbo, Ratatouille. Those Disney bastards.
I have stolen an argos pencil and pens from the bank. I think (now you point it out), that my criminal activity is escalating.

HoneyNorwegianRidgebackdragon Mon 18-Jul-11 11:00:53

hmmm maybe bewbs has a point grin

<makes note to padlock handbag around AWA>

boswelloxsmith Mon 18-Jul-11 11:01:56

yes the farmer will kick your arse AnnWiddicome

AnneWiddecomesArse Mon 18-Jul-11 11:04:49

bewbs123. FGS. Get over yourself. My in laws are 5th generation farmers (dairy, sheep and goats).
It's tongue in cheek.
I do love this particular pig and will consider making an legitimate offer (but I need to think it thoroughly through first).
I'm not a damn thief; although I would ask that you take the theft of a pencil from Argos and a Bic from Barclays into consideration.

HoneyNorwegianRidgebackdragon Mon 18-Jul-11 11:24:49

Anne
You must stop this now and seek help. It starts with a bic, then the pig, and before you know it you'll be held up in customs, with a strangers finger up your bum, after trying to get a Walrus over the border in a Ford Transit. sad

SarahStratton Mon 18-Jul-11 11:27:40

grin

Do it. But do it legitimately. Buy piglet from farmer for stupid amount so he can laugh at the daft woman then stash it in your rucksack and pedal home as fast as you can.

bewbs123 Mon 18-Jul-11 11:34:51

inlaws = not you

tongue in cheek or not, its a stupid thing to write in that context

you should also know about defra, holding numbers and transport rules for moving pigs from place to place

and argos here now do pencils which are even nicer

SarahStratton Mon 18-Jul-11 11:43:06

I know someone who liberated a sick lamb once

snoopdogg Mon 18-Jul-11 11:44:07

Stop!!!

No one is considering the sow in all this, does she not have rights, does she not have feelings, would not the loss of this little piggy break her heart!

Cruel, cruel.................

<exits stage left, sobbing>

AnneWiddecomesArse Mon 18-Jul-11 11:54:08

Sarah. I bought a Gloucester Old Spot from the same Farmer last year in the village auction; paid for it; it's upkeep and then we had a hog roast at the Summer Fair. (Lead for the Church roof and power to our elbow). But I never saw it; and I never had the opportunity to fall in love with it.

Bewbs I'm cuntry born and bred. My family have been arable since about 1460. I know how to behave. I have first cousins that have interbred in order to keep hold of land and title.
I have had family farms wiped out by foot and mouth. Know about Defra, know more about farming than I wish to know. As an accountant, (28 years practice for farmers) I'm always worrying/re-interpretating averaging.
So don't lecture or berate me Lady.

Have just fallen in love with a piglet. I know it's wrong; I know it's not rational.

nojustificationneeded Mon 18-Jul-11 11:55:45

STAMPS FEET!!!! I want a PIGLET!!! steal one for me too, puurrleasseee.

Bumpsadaisie Mon 18-Jul-11 11:59:04

When you nick it make sure you take a pile of food to distract the piglet's mother ... otherwise when it squeals blue murder you will feel the rough side of mum's headbut!

I'm heavily pregnant and the other day only just managed to leap over the fence in time after giving our little runt an anti-bio injection recently. He screamed and his mother ..., well, lets just say it's surprising how fast a big old pig can run and how loudly she can grunt, when someone is sticking a needle in her babies.

DH is in charge of the pigs now. I'm in no fit condition for those sorts of acrobatics.

AnneWiddecomesArse Mon 18-Jul-11 12:05:43

Snoop. The sow doesn't love this piglet. She flings it in the air at almost every opportunity. I've seen her being really quiet. Then she just runs at the piglet and hurls him through the air. I've seen her with the last three litters and she's a good Mum; apart from this poor piglet.
But animals know more than we do. It might have some sort of cancer/defect. I don't know; but I've seen animals gang up on a sick individual. It's loosing condition and now the other piglets are also following the Mother's example and bullying.

Mumswang Mon 18-Jul-11 12:05:55

It is NEVER wrong to steal a piglet. Go get it, then sit down and read it The Peppermint Pig (but not the end)

nojustificationneeded Mon 18-Jul-11 12:07:53

Bumps grin

snoopdogg Mon 18-Jul-11 12:09:42

That's different then OP, if piglet is being subjected to piggy abuse then all power to your elbow - FREE THE PIGGY ONE!!!!

Punkatheart Mon 18-Jul-11 12:11:06

Actually I do understand, Anne. There is sometimes a bond formed quickly with animal and human. Now I see your perspective and realise this is not whimsy. Yes, offer to buy the piglet. If you have had pigs before - then you know the drill. But yes, the animal could be poorly or have a genetic defect.

Let us know.

TheOriginalFAB Mon 18-Jul-11 12:13:30

I think you should offer to give him/her a home. Or maybe just ask the farmer why Mummy Pig is being so mean to Baby Pig and then lead in to what will he do about it...

AnneWiddecomesArse Mon 18-Jul-11 12:15:05

My DD takes the big bag of apples for sow and brood. As I noticed the bullying I did a pitch of apples; way behind, for squirt. Then I started going to the right; and now I go about 1/4 mile round the bend; and I whistle while my DD feeds the main brood; but little pig follows me.
It's love I tell you. The love that has no name. Piglet love.

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