does something happen to women when they reach a certain age?

(108 Posts)
mauricetinkler Fri 15-Jul-11 14:13:53

50s and 60s perhaps. They go all uptight and weird and develop this huge chip on their shoulders and just seem so...angry with the world. I'm seeing it more and more...

squeakytoy Fri 15-Jul-11 14:14:28

Some do... probably related to the menopause. But not all.

Beamur Fri 15-Jul-11 14:14:30

Are you a man?

weedle Fri 15-Jul-11 14:15:19

<grabs DD and runs for the hills>

simbo Fri 15-Jul-11 14:17:34

Yep, it's called ageing/menopause, and it will happen to you too (unless you are a man).

LineRunner Fri 15-Jul-11 14:17:57

They're probably feeling oppressed. wink

olderyetwider Fri 15-Jul-11 14:17:57

Fuck off <only sensible response from woman nearly 50>

DoMeDon Fri 15-Jul-11 14:18:04

People in 50's, 60's now were post war children - many of whom didn't have the parental support they needed as their own parents were recovering from ravages of war and had not much to invest in their DC emotionally. I find them one of the most 'childish' groups interact with (as a sweeping generalisation of course - a huge percantage are totally 'normal')

AgentZigzag Fri 15-Jul-11 14:20:20

I can't wait to let all my repressed anger free on the world without caring what other people think of me smile

They go all uptight and weird and develop this huge chip on their shoulders and just seem so...angry with the world. I'm seeing it more and more...

Projection...beautiful example.

SevenAgainstThebes Fri 15-Jul-11 14:20:57

No. It doesn't.


giveitago Fri 15-Jul-11 14:21:44

M - what the heck are you on about? Example please.

thestringpeople Fri 15-Jul-11 14:22:00

Men aren't immune from having a massive chip on their shoulder, I've come across just as many men as women like your description.

Some people reach the end of middle age and accept that they aren't going to realise all of their dreams or perhaps their finances aren't as healthy as they would have like and they get grumpy. It doesn't happen to everyone, I know lots of jolly souls in their 50/60's.

It must also be annoying when the media are constantly harping on about the baby boomers as never having it so good. What if you are skint and aren't having the time of life? Must feel pretty shit when you are being blamed for the next generation having a difficult time ahead of them.

frillyflower Fri 15-Jul-11 14:22:07

Oh what a lot of bloody rubbish. Just feck right off.

That angry enough for you?

And as for the 'postwar children' amateur psychology .. words fail me!

27tilly Fri 15-Jul-11 14:22:54

I'm with Agent

rubyrubyruby Fri 15-Jul-11 14:22:54

Do you mean theybstop being a fucking doormat?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrapolaDeVille Fri 15-Jul-11 14:23:46

Is that the same time that men become cantankerous, self absorbed and arsehole like?

Bloodymary Fri 15-Jul-11 14:23:48

I am 56 and this is news to me.

Seriously, there are many people who are weird, uptight and have chips on their shoulders. But they can be of any age and/or gender.

Malificence Fri 15-Jul-11 14:24:23

Perhaps it's just you Maurice? You are a bit of a dick.

CrapolaDeVille Fri 15-Jul-11 14:24:39

(just after the mid life, mullet driven, motorcycle riding, shagging the secretary spell men like to call a crisis?)

Malificence Fri 15-Jul-11 14:25:36

<snurk> grin

squeakytoy Fri 15-Jul-11 14:25:52

The post war example does actually have a lot of truth in it.

AgentZigzag Fri 15-Jul-11 14:26:37

Maybe the OP's insinuating MN is full of Women Of A Certain Age who are angry they can't eat the chip on their shoulders?

frillyflower Fri 15-Jul-11 14:28:05

The post war example does actually have a lot of truth in it.

Really? I don't imagine it does.

Empusa Fri 15-Jul-11 14:28:10

"Perhaps it's just you Maurice? You are a bit of a dick."

Quite. They were probably happy and carefree up till when you showed your face, and then happy again once you've fucked off.

Now there's a hint for you..

JoleneJoleneJoleneJoleeene Fri 15-Jul-11 14:29:09

No. Must be your effect on them.

Pagwatch Fri 15-Jul-11 14:32:10

The post war example sounds like a big pile of horse shit to me.

I suspect that what Maurice is really talking about is that once he ceases to see women as potentially fuckable he can't really see the point.

And women in their 50s and 60s have probably seen quite a few all mouth no trousers types and remain resolutely unimpressed.


olderyetwider Fri 15-Jul-11 14:32:37

Post war example is cod psychology bollocks IMO. My Mum (early 70s) is post war generation. I (nearly 50) am not. Neither of us would recognise ourselves or our experiences in what is described. Where did you get it from?

(the fact that I find this stereotyping of older women a tad offensive does not mean that I am uptight or have a chip on my shoulder or am angry with the world)

emmanana Fri 15-Jul-11 14:32:56

So you have encountered a couple of older ladies who probably disagreed with you on something. Grow up. The last couple of days I have seen a couple of instances where young Mums have shown really bad manners on public transport. I don't feel the need to come on here, and ask 'Do young mums no longer have any manners?' The more you generalise about the world around you, the less you will actually see and learn, and you will turn into one of those women that annoys you - with an enormous chip on your shoulder.

motherinferior Fri 15-Jul-11 14:34:03

Post war children??? I'll be 50 in two years's time and I was born in 1963. Actually most people of that generation were able to hang out and grow their hair and have lots of carefree sex and found the women's movement and...ooh, yes, perhaps get a bit pissed off.

perhaps, maurice, your perception of women around you getting more and more "uptight and weird" is because as you have approached your 50's/60's, the women around you have become less inclined to humour you?

But then, I'm approaching my fifties and have this huge chip on my shoulder ...

emmanana, that is so right! I'll steal that one- excessive generalisation IS what makes people chippy, isnt' it...

(I do it too but I'm vowing to stop now...from an uptight chippy 38 year old. Us 70s kids had to survive the Thatcher years don't you know- now that's psychological damage ;))

BootyMum Fri 15-Jul-11 14:41:53

DoMeDon's thoughts on post war babies has some merit to it imo...

My parents [Mum 66 yrs, Dad 74 yrs], although at the older end of the spectrum, are classic examples of it.

Ormirian Fri 15-Jul-11 14:42:00

Yes, that's right. It's because they are so envious of the young and carefree and unlined. They get really really bitter I expect.


ShirleyKnot Fri 15-Jul-11 14:43:03

I'm going to have to tell my nana off a lot for being such a shit parent to my mum after the war.

What an absolute pile of shite.

MsAnnThroppy Fri 15-Jul-11 14:46:47

I'm like that now and I'm not even 40 yet. Does that make me precocious?

GentleOtter Fri 15-Jul-11 14:47:14

Here maurice, here is a nice fat fish <')))>< to go with your chip. smile

Maurice - perhaps they are only uptight and have a chip on their shoulder around you. Have you asked yourself why that might be?

sue52 Fri 15-Jul-11 14:52:32

What are you talking about? I'm 59, had a great childhood and was around London for the best time ever (the sixties) in the history of the world. I feel sorry for all you who didn't experience that. I've earned my lines and wrinkles and I've had enormous fun acquiring them. I don't mind at all that people like Maurice don't find me potentially fuckable, the feeling is entirely mutual. Only premium kettle chips over here.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Fri 15-Jul-11 14:59:21

If by uptight, weird, and chip on shoulder you mean 'stop taking crap, follow own desires, and speak own opinions' then a) I can't wait to hit my 50s and b) oh, hang on, I'm 36 and I seem to have partially reached that point already ... grin

Malificence Fri 15-Jul-11 15:00:01

Sue, you are the same age as my sister, she is single has to beat men away with a stick! Maurice just needs beating with a stick, but he'd probably enjoy it. wink

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Fri 15-Jul-11 15:03:48

Oh yes. All women, once we reach 'a certain age' turn into horrible people. It is built into our genetic make-up. We will all wake up on that special day and begin to be really vile to those around us.

Just another reason to hate us. Or maybe set up a facebook account to slag us off and say the forums we use 'suck'. Or maybe a good reason to set up forums to fight back against all us pesky women coming out of the kitchen. Beat us back where we belong, that's what I say. I mean, who the actual fuck do we think we are?

Motherofalllizards Fri 15-Jul-11 15:06:53

I think Maurice has been cuckolded

giveitago Fri 15-Jul-11 15:09:29

Erm - 'chip on the shoulder' in my (very old) experience has been used by people to take a pop at someone they don't like (I've had a few hilarious accusations about my chip - ie my ethnicity - my age - my gender - get the picture?).

So what exactly is this particular 'chip'.

usualsuspect Fri 15-Jul-11 15:19:22

I'm 52 and have no time for twats like the op,is that what you mean?

tethersend Fri 15-Jul-11 15:23:53

I think it takes about 50 years to work out that everything is shit.

Blackduck Fri 15-Jul-11 15:25:46

did you know that more divorces of people in their 50s are instigated by women than men? Wonder why?

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Fri 15-Jul-11 15:26:46

oh yes, giveitago, I agree. 'chip on shoulder' often means 'not taking the shit I want to dish out'

Not always.

But quite a lot.

create Fri 15-Jul-11 15:26:59

I don't know about women, but that's definitely happened to my Dad! I think he's just stopped caring about what other people think, which means he tells it like it is (as he sees it hmm )

Pagwatch Fri 15-Jul-11 15:27:53

Agreed tethers.
And it takes some women about 50 years to stop smiling and letting it go and just say "Christ alive Maurice you are such a tedious wanker"

Bloodymary Fri 15-Jul-11 16:03:06

Oh come back Maurice, please tell me why you think I am uptight and weird.

tethersend Fri 15-Jul-11 16:09:19

This thread reminds me of that scene in Airplane where they're all queueing up to 'cure' the hysterical woman grin

IroningBoardForSurfBoard Fri 15-Jul-11 16:10:18

tethers grin

Pin0t Fri 15-Jul-11 16:10:19

Maurice bores me.

That is all.

LDNmummy Fri 15-Jul-11 16:13:30

Well my DM and DMIL are not like that.

LDNmummy Fri 15-Jul-11 16:15:41

And what Pagwatch said.

ScaredOfCows Fri 15-Jul-11 17:03:10

Loving the name - mauricetinkler - is it your real name???


pengelly Fri 15-Jul-11 17:17:22

When I was one
The war had begun
When I was ten
it was wartime again
When I was twenty
I thought I knew plenty
When I was thirty
I liked to be flirty
But now that I'm fifty
and still pretty nifty...... I couldn't care less.

FannyFerknackerPants Fri 15-Jul-11 17:20:55

No, it's because once we reach 50 we stop worrying about what other people think, let go of our repressions and let it all hang out! I was far too scared when I was young to say what I meant, make a legitimate complaint etc. Now I'm no longer scared!

heleninahandcart Fri 15-Jul-11 17:24:19

Maurice you clearly need a shag hmm

That'll get the tension out

Pandemoniaa Fri 15-Jul-11 17:36:25

"People in 50's, 60's now were post war children - many of whom didn't have the parental support they needed as their own parents were recovering from ravages of war and had not much to invest in their DC emotionally..."

Ha, fucking, ha! My mother, who had a truly fascinating job working in Intelligence (she would not speak of her duties relating to the D-Day Landings until 30 years later) always said that the war was an amazingly liberating experience. Without it, middle class girls from her sort of background would have been expected to toy with a secretarial job before settling down to wait hand and foot on the men they married. Instead, she had the freedom to develop as her own person AND use her brains and skill working towards victory.

If anything, quite a lot of us who qualify (broadly) as Baby Boomers actually had it all. Certainly in our house, food was plentiful and my mother almost over-compensated for the years she'd spent on rations. Education was prized and I was encouraged to be independent.

Now it may be that there are bitter, difficult women in their 50s and 60s but I suspect they've always been like this. Cod psychology about the war doesn't explain away their general contrariness of lack of social skills and neither, necessarily, does the menopause since this is a condition that shouldn't be used to justify unacceptable behaviour.

thefirstMrsDeVere Fri 15-Jul-11 17:37:06

Exactly! Once a woman is confident enough not to try and please every wanker she meets in the course of the day she is 'angry and bitter'.

Like me but I am only 44 so fuck knows what I will be like when I am 50 <cant wait>

There are builders near my workplace. One more 20 year old fucker tells me to 'smile love' I am going to get up on that scaffolding and rip his nipples off - then smile.

Angry enough for you Maurice?

pengelly Fri 15-Jul-11 17:54:33

thefirstmrsdeveres strory reminds me of an incident with builders I witnessed several years ago.

Walking in front of me was a rather frumpy looking 50 something lady. As we walked the gauntlet of the building site a young tatooed hod carrying adonis shouted " Hi love want to sit on my face?"

Without even looking up she retorted " Why? Your dick not big enough?"

I admired her then but haughtily thought I'd never lower myself like that....
but now I am turning into that 50 year old and what I wouldn't give......

alistron1 Fri 15-Jul-11 17:56:47

I'm 37 and I'm 'there' now. <<eats chip in an angry fashion>>

DiamondDoris Fri 15-Jul-11 18:49:56

I think it's all got something to do with the menopause and testosterone. I'm quite looking forward to being in my 50s, hopefully I'll be more assertive than I am now.

aliceliddell Fri 15-Jul-11 18:54:36

Maurice! You're back! Thank God you're here! I should think our general misery is because we can't stand the white heatof competition to get your phone number.

smallwhitecat Fri 15-Jul-11 18:59:24

Message withdrawn

DuelingFanjo Fri 15-Jul-11 19:01:22

Maurice, maybe it's you?

GetOrfMoiLand Fri 15-Jul-11 19:07:57

Well what happened to me then? I a bitter cynic at 33.

Maurice I think you will find that men in their 50s and 60s have a propesntiy to bitterness and having a chip on their shoulder, especially at work. They realise it has all been in vain, they have failed and are being spectacularly overtaken by the young whippersnappers, some of whom are female.

Actually, Maurice, have I worked with you smile

sue52 Fri 15-Jul-11 19:08:43

DiamondDoris It's got nothing to do with the menopause. I'm sure I would have found Maurice a complete knob both before as well as after it.

ratspeaker Fri 15-Jul-11 19:09:19

Does something happen to men when they reach a certain age?

50s and 60s perhaps. They go all uptight and weird and develop this huge chip on their shoulders and just seem so...angry with the world. I'm seeing it more and more...
They drive like they own the road, so aggresive, so overcompensating for their small minds
They buy caps to cover the bald bits
they wear beige
they post on the internet

PaperBank Fri 15-Jul-11 20:19:49


mauricetinkler Fri 15-Jul-11 20:20:16

DiamondDoris - it isnt about being asserative and confident in your own skin (as various other posters have implied). It is about being angry and bitter and just radiating this sense didnt really turn out how they envisioned. Somebody mentioned the baby boomers earlier and, yes, they really are the worst of the lot - proper spiteful buggers despite sitting far prettier than most. Bloody curtain twitchers.

GentleOtter Fri 15-Jul-11 20:27:38

So, are we totally buggered then come 70, maurice?

<rattles polyester roller blinds>

tethersend Fri 15-Jul-11 20:28:24

I think someone spurned ol' maurice's advances.

I'm guessing they were mid-late 50s...?

FoundWanting Fri 15-Jul-11 20:29:01

Did mummy send you to your room again, Maurice?

tethersend Fri 15-Jul-11 20:29:05

Also, were they calling the police as they twitched the curtains?

glassescase Fri 15-Jul-11 20:29:37

maurice tinkler
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa grin

silly little boy

tethersend Fri 15-Jul-11 20:30:15

And were you sat on their lawn, naked and crying?

Be honest, maurice. You can tell us. We've all been there.

mauricetinkler Fri 15-Jul-11 20:32:06

no tethersend - they were reading the daily mail, thus further fuelling their anger with the world

GentleOtter Fri 15-Jul-11 20:33:38

Beat me on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly.

Much edgier than the DM.

Rebecca41 Fri 15-Jul-11 20:36:31

I think this is the age when their husbands leave them for younger women, and tell them it's their fault for "letting themselves go".

EggyAllenPoe Fri 15-Jul-11 20:39:01

i thought studies showed older people in this coutry to ecome more confident in themselves, more satisfied, more tolerant ...

but why have research when your opinion will do?

usualsuspect Fri 15-Jul-11 20:39:27

I'm not angry with the world tonight


mauricetinkler Fri 15-Jul-11 20:41:16

I just keyed ANGRY MIDDLE AGED WOMEN into Google and it brought up 6.5m results. So clearly I am not going down some blind alley with this, Eggy.

usualsuspect Fri 15-Jul-11 20:43:10
timidviper Fri 15-Jul-11 20:44:48

I hate generalisations but last year we went on holiday at a different time to usual and the resort was full of couples, probably in their 60s. I have never heard so much moaning! Everything was wrong for them! By the end of the week I could have cheerfully beaten them all to death with their own Daily Mails!

Oh crap, I'm 51, maybe I am in Maurice's angry women group! Have to say I'm generally very happy, more so now than when I was younger as I've become more assertive. Maybe we just suffer fools (and whingeing gits) less gladly.

TheCrackFox Fri 15-Jul-11 20:46:10

I jsut googled "bitter middle aged men" and got 5.5m results.

ThePathanKhansWoman Fri 15-Jul-11 20:46:49

I'm younger and i'm a chippy, harriden angry thats me in the hat, big red face. YABU

mauricetinkler Fri 15-Jul-11 20:48:42

Has anybody else noticed how middle aged married couples seem to kind of morph into each other (on the looks front) after a certain length of time? Any oldies out there to explain this one to me?

seeker Fri 15-Jul-11 20:49:35

Only when we read crap like the OP. Makes me very uptight and wierd, I can tell you.

MotherLoose Fri 15-Jul-11 20:53:58

What length of time would that be maurice? You could be middle aged & married only a couple of weeks. You wouldn't be generalising by any chance - would you?

Pagwatch Fri 15-Jul-11 20:54:51

Perhaps middle aged women become grumpy because of middle aged men?

GreenEyesandHam Fri 15-Jul-11 20:55:42

YOU try being laugh a minute with a vagina drier than Ghandis flip flop, ok sunshine?

(not really)

seeker Fri 15-Jul-11 20:57:49

"YOU try being laugh a minute with a vagina drier than Ghandis flip flop, ok sunshine?"

Yeah - like all 50 year old women! Bloody hell, I hate the casual ageism on this site!

GreenEyesandHam Fri 15-Jul-11 21:02:10

Oh hmm

The 'not really' didn't give you a clue?

Wanksock Fri 15-Jul-11 21:06:43

Not all, but some people (men and women) get to a certain age and start the

'I just say what I think, because I don't care what people think of me anymore'
'oh, you know me, i just say it how it is'.

Complain more in restaurants etc. don't see why they should keep quiet anymore.

Often results in rudeness though.

seeker Fri 15-Jul-11 21:15:03

Ooops. blush Blame the varifocals!

GreenEyesandHam Fri 15-Jul-11 21:16:54


Malificence Fri 15-Jul-11 21:30:06

You been looking at my photos Maurice? <narrows eyes suspiciously>

wotabouttheworkers Fri 15-Jul-11 21:35:54

Why ask me? I'm only 59. Have done well in my career, children are grown and making their own way, have lots of confidence, am financially secure, can't get pregnant... You were saying...

AgentZigzag Fri 15-Jul-11 21:39:01

'And were you sat on their lawn, naked and crying?'

hahahahahaa genuine lol grin

mauricetinkler Fri 15-Jul-11 21:42:48

tbf, that was quite an inspired line tethersend - cant quite get that image out of my head.

FabbyChic Fri 15-Jul-11 21:43:06

Im 46 and Im a miserable bastard on tinternet, but bubbly and fun in real life, I doubt that ever change inside I'm still 25.

mauricetinkler Fri 15-Jul-11 21:57:05

not bin on your pics malificence - never looks at pics. But, is it true about that middle aged couple morphing into each other thing? I saw a couple today out shopping - mid 50s maybe. Their faces were almost identical. And they were dressed almost identically, all in grey or khaki colours. Please tell me I am not imagining this phenomena (sp)?

GentleOtter Fri 15-Jul-11 22:25:24

maurice, it is one of the highlights of reaching 50 - amorphous blobbery. Matching elasticated shell suits or khaki frocks lend a frisson to shopping, you know.
and Jesus sandals for the bunions.

IfoundmyGspot Sat 16-Jul-11 10:33:26

It gets better

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