to want to kick out DH

[hashadefuckingnuff]

Just found out he has been lying yet again, and noticed large sums of money missing from our already overdrawn bank account. Have had years of his lies now, but am worried how me and DC's will cope financially and what to do about joint bank account. At this moment in time I hate him

[katvond]

What's he spending the money on?

[katvond]

His he spending it on drugs, women and fast cars?

[troisgarcons]

Open your own account and put your money there .... doesn't mean you have to close your joint account. Cant you see/read the statements?

Who authorised the overdraft? increased it?

[Happymm]

If he's spending large amounts of cash that's not yours(ie is the banks) then maybe you'd manage better financially without him? What's he spent it on?

[MissVerinder]

I really, really feel your pain. It's the cover up rather than the act that hurts so much sometimes. I can only advise you to do what I haven't yet got the balls to do- open your own account and leave him to deal with the joint account when it starts bouncing everywhere- try and get your name off that one if you can though. What's he spent it on?

[wikolite]

What has he spent the money on?

[Thingumy]

kick him out then.

[ooohyouareawfulbutilikeyou]

we need to know what the money has gone on

[hashadefuckingnuff]

He has been addicted to drugs in the past, I say in the past but I suppose even though he is not using he is still an addict, and will be for life. He was out of work for three months when DS2 was born, he is in the building trade and its always quiet at Xmas, anyway it took ages for any benefits to come through and he says he borrowed some money from a mate and is now paying him back which is what these missing amounts are. I find it hard to believe him because of all the lies he has told to cover up his drug usage in the past. Dont get me wrong, he is a lovely bloke and a great Dad - now. I suppose I should have left him at the height of his addiction but wanted to help him through, after all you dont just run away at the first sign of trouble in a marriage.

He hasnt actually got a debit card, I get him money when he needs it to stop any temptation, but he ordered himself another card and has been using it and at our bank you can get emergency cash without your card.

I really am torn at the moment. DS1 has had a few behavioural problems since DS2 was born and I think it may upset him even more if his Dad was to leave, I just dont know what to do - one minute I want him to go, the next I'm filled with panic and dont want him to.

[ooohyouareawfulbutilikeyou]

maybe he is telling the truth

has he seemed under the influence of drugs?

[cannydoit]

my ex used to take my card for shopping etc then money would go missing from my account he would lie and say he hadnt taken it so i would say that i would have to call the police because my card had obviously been stolen or my details had been used. in the end he would admit it, he was an alcoholic. it was this lying and many other reasons that ended it, the panic is normal, you will cope on your own in some ways it could be better, thats what i found no more worry or arguments or anguish over everything.