To think about leaving my 15 year old home alone?

(140 Posts)
AllDirections Sat 14-May-11 09:42:41

DD1 is 15 later this year and I want to take DD2 away for 2 nights on her own. DD3 will be staying with friends but DD1 doesn't want to.

It would be at the weekend so no school to think about and I would obviously leave her food and money. My friend (who is having DD3) and my next door neighbour would both be around if she needed anything. DD1 is very self sufficient, mature and responsible. In reality she would probably have her friend sleep over and the friend's parents would be checking up on them. I would only be 2-3 hours away.

Last year I took both DD1 and DD3 away for a couple of days on their own and DD2 is asking when I can take her away. I want to take her but is leaving DD1 alone at home a sensible option?

compo Sat 14-May-11 09:44:46

Why would you only want to take dd2 away though? I'd rather stick together as a family

RabbitFood Sat 14-May-11 09:45:04

If you feel she is sensible, then i would do it. she has a neighbour to contact should she need to . Also presumably you will be on a mobile she can contact at any time.

Just don't let her put any details on facebook. The horror stories of those parties from just a mention that the childs parents are away, can end up with 200 uninvited guests and a trashed house.

i would, but i would arrange for someone to go over a couple of times, and warn neighbours to keep an eye out

compo Sat 14-May-11 09:46:03

Or have dd1 stay over at friends where there is an adult

it's not illegal but if something happened they'd probably get ss involved
and would you enjoy yourself if you were worrying about back home?

valiumredhead Sat 14-May-11 09:47:16

What Rabbitfood said re facebook.

I used to babysit overnight for a family when I was 14/15 and I'd left home by 16. As long as she has a neighbour on hand if she needs help with anything I am sure she'll be fine.

Pagwatch Sat 14-May-11 09:47:44

She isn't 15. She is 14 confused

We left ds1 when he was nearly 16. But 14, nearly 15 is different.

It would depend on the child tbh and the next door neighbours. And my seeing her facebook and email and phone before I went.

rogersmellyonthetelly Sat 14-May-11 09:48:30

only you can be the judge of whether its OK or not - you know your DD and how mature/responsible she is. For the record, my parents left my older sister at almost 16 for 5 days while they went to look at property in Spain, I was only 11 so stayed with grandparents. my sister was fine, checked in on phone morning and night with GP's who were only half a mile away. there was a small incident with a party which was organised, but the damage wasnt too bad......

valiumredhead Sat 14-May-11 09:48:35

BINGO! SS mentioned and in only 4 posts wink

Honeybee79 Sat 14-May-11 09:50:09

Depends on how sensible she is. I think I would as long as there were people around to call her and check on her.

My folks left me for a week when I was 14 and it was bliss. I loved the time alone and just ate pizza in front of the TV.

squeakytoy Sat 14-May-11 09:51:25

I wouldnt. But I know what I was like at that age grin.

Morloth Sat 14-May-11 09:54:56

I think it depends on the kid. I was fine for this sort of thing at 14/15 but there is no way on earth you could have left my older sister. She is was a feral. grin

AllDirections Sat 14-May-11 09:55:59

Compo, it's nice to have some one-to-one time away with each child every now and again. I'm a single parent and I rarely get time with each child alone.

Pagwatch, I'm not going to do it yet. I agree that 14 is too young but I'm planning in advance. I would definitely leave her at 16 but 15 is a bit of a grey area for me.

DD1 is not the type to arrange a party but she would put something on Facebook about us being away. She just wouldn't think not to so I'll check that she doesn't. My friend and neighbour would check up on her for me and I would be checking via mobile. She might get invited to her friend's and that would solve the problem. I could try and make her go to her dads but she'd probably rather sleep in a bus shelter!! And he would probably say no anyway!

oxocube Sat 14-May-11 10:03:16

My ds is almost 16 and I would definitely leave him for a weekend (with the dog!!) if necessary. Would think twice about leaving a 14 year old though (even though my 13 year old dd would probably stay in bed and watch movies the whole weekend grin)

Pagwatch Sat 14-May-11 10:03:36

Ok, I was confused smile

I did it with ds1. He was very sensible, had babysat for his sibs and I totally trusted him.

I just made sure he had help nearby if there was a problem.
He had our number and number of a friend of mine who lived very close.

I left him a list of stuff on a whiteboard which he photographed and has on his facebook page

Feed the dog
Let him out to pee
Let him back in again
Don't start to run a bath and think 'i'll just nip downstairs". You will forget it.
Don't turn on the grill and walk away
No fires, no flames, nothing inflamable,, combustible, electrical. No scary shit
No parties. Really. I mean it.

grin

at 15 and with people looking in and neighbours around who you know yes only you know yo0ur dd and if is ok

ANd yes I do the have time with just each child thing to

MumblingRagDoll Sat 14-May-11 10:18:03

I was not allowed to stay alone at that age as Mum knew I'd have a party! It's a rare teen who won't take advantage!

compo Sat 14-May-11 10:26:45

Lol didn't realise I'd won mumsnet bingo grin

I just think 14 is too young

I wouldn't be able to relax and would be constantly ringing, texting the neighbour etc
don't see why dd can't stay over at a friends
it's one thing saying they'll be fine etc but they might feel frightened once it gets dark

Tuppence2 Sat 14-May-11 11:21:57

My mum used to leave me on my own when I was a young teenager for the odd night. I always had a contact number for other relatives/ mum's friends if I needed anything. Or I could always knock on a neighbours door if it was an emergency.
I have never once had a party when I was left alone, even when I was 18 and my mum and stepdad went on honeymoon for a week. I had 1 girlfriend over and that's it... I must've been a rare teen.

I think if you can trust her to be sensible, ie, not leave the oven on or forget to lock the front door, I think you should leave her. She's obviously happy to be left, because if she wasn't, she'd be asking her mates if she can stay over at their house.

You know your DD. Lists and lists and lists. If you trust her, do it. She'll probably love it.

I like the idea of having weekends away with each of your children individually, I think it's really nice. smile

borderslass Sat 14-May-11 11:45:42

I did it with DD1 at that age she was a very mature girl was old beyond her years, only you know your daughter its great to get 1-1 time with your kids.

FabbyChic Sat 14-May-11 11:49:03

Sorry but my son when 17 would not be left alone, and I certainly do not think it is acceptable to leave a 15 year old.

It's neglectful. He didn't ask to be born now you want to fuck off and leave him for two nights, shameful.

CordeliaCatkin Sat 14-May-11 11:55:40

I don't think it is okay either. She will invite friends round - and if people get to know she is home alone, then she may well end up with a situation that could get out of hand.

Just tell her she is not allowed to stay home alone and arrange for her to go somewhere else. Or take her with you.

Spidermama Sat 14-May-11 11:59:33

I think it's fine. 15! It'll be good for her sense of independence.

Danthe4th Sat 14-May-11 12:06:46

I think its ok if your dd is not the sort to get spooked at 2am by creaks and groans in the house. She no doubt will be on facebook talking to her mates so the whole school will know she is home alone plus half the parents. Thats the bit that would concern me.
My dd1 age 16 would probably be ok with it, but for 2 nights I would send her to her grandmas I expect.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now