dh threw wine at the wall

(475 Posts)
mario91 Wed 11-May-11 16:33:39

we were having an argument and he fancies sharon and we said a lot of bad things to ech other but he threw wine at the wall and id just painted it and so aibu to think he should paint it because he threw the wine but i said id decorate the house and he uses this as an excuse to say he shouldnt have to do it but he threw the wine.

Finallyspring Wed 11-May-11 16:35:52

This is like that barbs thread

ObiWan Wed 11-May-11 16:36:07

Forget the wine.
Let's talk about Sharon........

TotemPole Wed 11-May-11 16:36:27

Who's Sharon? confused

TheCowardlyLion Wed 11-May-11 16:36:41


Who the hell is Sharon?

MoshiMonstersRUs Wed 11-May-11 16:37:03

Tell us about Sharon? Who is she?
And was it good wine?

TheCowardlyLion Wed 11-May-11 16:37:24

x-posted with several of you - our minds are as one on the randomness of this!

fearnelinen Wed 11-May-11 16:37:31

Who's Sharon?
YANBU, he should repaint it. And buy you flowers.

joanne34 Wed 11-May-11 16:37:38

What a waste of wine !

CareyFakes Wed 11-May-11 16:37:40

I like Sharon

Bearcrumble Wed 11-May-11 16:37:48

He was decorating. The wine stain is the feature on your feature wall.

VinegarTits Wed 11-May-11 16:37:55

Sharon? osbourne? stone? sharon from the Spar down the road? confused

Suncottage Wed 11-May-11 16:38:26

I am all ears.

[sits down and pours more wine]

Maybe sharon is the woman that exposes her chest when opening her bedroom curtains? grin

Valpollicella Wed 11-May-11 16:39:03

Did you have any left in the bottle or was it your last glass?

I would be more pissed off if it was the only bit I had left and he wasted it, rather than throwing at the wall.

But seriously, sorry to hear that.

Suncottage Wed 11-May-11 16:39:07

Ohhh Sharon!

She's a right cah!

Bearcrumble Wed 11-May-11 16:39:50

All (fake) fur coat and no knickers that Sharon.

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 16:40:01

That poor Sharon. Everyone blames her when really it was that Tracey.

BootyMum Wed 11-May-11 16:40:03

Is this one of those 'in joke' threads. Well I don't get it! But then I'm not in the 'in crowd' around here envy

I'm presuming it a TV soap that I don't watch either, BootyMum ...

peppapighastakenovermylife Wed 11-May-11 16:41:07

Sharon? Sharon? Who the Fuck is AliceSharon?

MrSpoc Wed 11-May-11 16:41:14

bastard leave him for Sharon

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 16:41:21

I don't think so, BootyMum. I think people were just having a little chuckle. Don't feel left out. <pats head soothingly>

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 16:41:26

Leave him .

Finallyspring Wed 11-May-11 16:42:08

But it's not wine o'clock yet, suncottage

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 16:42:43

he washed the wall with a mucky dishcloth but the wine didnt cme off so the wall has dirt and wine on it and i dont think it will come off so he should paint it or ill have to. we do have some paint left. its in the kitchen behind the door near the table. I dont know where sharon is now.

Did you rub his nose in it...actually no, that would be a reward, the bastard would be bound to try and lick it grin

And in the words of the song....who the fuck is Sharon??

CareyFakes Wed 11-May-11 16:42:59

Go round that Sharon's and teach her a fucking lesson, slag.

VinegarTits Wed 11-May-11 16:43:31

and why is he drinking wine at this time? <hides glass>

PinkToeNails Wed 11-May-11 16:44:12

I want to know about Sharon....

Suncottage Wed 11-May-11 16:44:27


Hides wine blush

KatieMiddleton Wed 11-May-11 16:44:51

What sort of wine? If it was cheap chardonnay he is NBU. If it was naice wine his BU.

But more importantly who is Sharon?

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 16:45:20

sharon didnt throw the wine, dh did. this happened last night and i tried to clean the wall again today but it wont come clean and its not on the carpet so thats good just a dead wasp near the window but ill hoover that in a minute. I just think he should paint the wall because I only painted it last week and it took ages and everyone was saying how nice it looked.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar Wed 11-May-11 16:45:28

I hope Roly wasn't involved. Valhalla will have your guts for garters if the poor mutt caught a glancing blow from the wine glass.

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 16:45:37

Good place to leave your paint I reckon .

What are you talking about please ?

Pretty please

Hassled Wed 11-May-11 16:45:56

I feel a bit sorry for Sharon.

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 16:46:00

Sharon should paint the wall. It's her fault for being a cheap hoor.

Suncottage Wed 11-May-11 16:46:28

Okay - I am backing away slooooowllly with no sudden movements...........

VinegarTits Wed 11-May-11 16:46:39

what bad things were said? MINOR stuff like 'you rotter?' and you pig' or major stuff like


Valpollicella Wed 11-May-11 16:47:01

I think the dead wasp is symbolic of your marriage tbh.

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 16:47:54

Was the wasp pissed ?

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 16:48:07

Sharon put the dead wasp there. She knows you will have an anaphylatic (but the right word) reaction and then she will get her claws into him

Bearcrumble Wed 11-May-11 16:48:22

What colour is the paint?

VinegarTits Wed 11-May-11 16:48:42

lie down on this couch here OP, relax and tell us about the wasp? <adjusts specs>

VinegarTits Wed 11-May-11 16:49:22

what colour was the wine?

Hassled Wed 11-May-11 16:49:23

I'm very impressed that he threw the wine but not the glass. There must have been some good wrist-flicky action going on.

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 16:49:42

well the argument started about sharon and i was trying not to be too mean beacuse he was in hispotal with a stomach ulcer last week and is supposed to be resting but that also meant he shouldnt be drinking the wine and i dont think sharon helps and i said this too him but i said it nice and he said hes sick of me going off at him all the time and telling him what to do and said i go on like his mum so i said hes ignorent and childish like his dad and so he got mad and i said go off and storm upstairs like you always do because you cant discuss anything properly so he threw the wine at the wall and it didnt go on the carpet.

How many bottles glasses of wine did you have before typing this?

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 16:50:11

I want some wine now , and I am going to blame Sharon .

Was it red or white by the way ?

I am assuming red , doubt white would stain much .

Suncottage Wed 11-May-11 16:50:13

Maybe the wall had pissed him off? What colour is it? A soft Egyptian Sand or a hostile Ocean Paradise?

Dulux or F&B?

maybe he will discuss it properly when we see him on Jeremy Kyle!

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 16:51:11

Please , one more time , Who the buggery is Sharon ?

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 16:51:30

It's just tragic

Tell him to fuck off you fucking fucker, and when you get there fuck off some more, oh and take fucking Sharon with him.

That'll tell him good and proper.

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 16:52:05

i dont know jeremy but the wall is magnolia and the wine was red and the carpet was white but it didnt go on the carpet it was just on the wall

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 16:52:15

do keep up TW, sharon is the one whose fault it is about the winey wall.

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 16:52:25

Was he like this before you painted the wall ?
Maybe the colour has affected his mood , maybe a calming green would be good for him .

Bearcrumble Wed 11-May-11 16:52:41

I want to go to hispotal.

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 16:52:48

Now it's deffo a lie. There's no way the wine could go on the wall and not one drop on the carpet.

Bearcrumble Wed 11-May-11 16:52:50

Is it in Turkey?

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 16:53:04

so do you think he should paint the wall because hes supposed to be resting but he threw the wine and im going to make a cup of tea now.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar Wed 11-May-11 16:53:10

YABU to have a white carpet. And Magnolia walls.

bullet234 Wed 11-May-11 16:53:29

You do realise you are writing this on Mumsnet and not on your facebook page and that none of us have a clue who this Sharon is, don't you? hmm.

VinegarTits Wed 11-May-11 16:53:33

<wipes white board clean>

<starts writing>

Dead wasp?
Stomach ulcer?
Wine stain on wall?
Clean carpet?

I think we are now getting somewhere in solving this mystery, carry on OP

White carpet?

Who the hell has a white carpet?

Is Sharon a dirty ho?

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 16:53:53

Thanks Hully , that has helped .

Now do you think he has shagged Sharon or just lusted after her painting technique ?

I bet she would do calming meadow or some such loveliness for him .

Bearcrumble Wed 11-May-11 16:54:57

He can't have it both ways. If he's well enough to drink booze and chase Sharon he's well enough to paint the wall.

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 16:55:10

I think sharon is a cat. It's one of those riddle things.

Hassled Wed 11-May-11 16:55:23

I feel Sharon has been much maligned here. There is no evidence to suggest any wrong-doing on her part. Except for the wasp stuff.

Why would it be in Turkey?confused

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 16:55:44

Do you really have a white carpet ? And magnolia walls ? Now that I am finding hard to believe . Maybe that is why he is so stressed , he is having flashbacks to his hospital room .

Valpollicella Wed 11-May-11 16:55:50

I bet Sharon doesn't have white carpets

MrSpoc Wed 11-May-11 16:56:29

I get it. Sharon was the hot nurse who had to give him his daily bed bath and Op is very jelous because her hubby cannot look at his wife the same again.

I still think you should leave him for Sharon. Also get rid of the white carpet. Shuddersssssssssssssss.

Suncottage Wed 11-May-11 16:56:44

My eyes hurt

VinegarTits Wed 11-May-11 16:57:06

Sharon could be a sheep? is he a farmer?

TW, hospitals don't have carpets, though they might do in Turkey?

psiloveyou Wed 11-May-11 16:57:38

I think you need to leave the wine alone now op.

Give it to me (or Sharon)

RubyLovesMayMay Wed 11-May-11 16:57:41

This thread has made me smile...thanks guys grin

ObiWan Wed 11-May-11 16:57:47

Now, sit down with your tea
Phone a decorator for the wall.
The carpet is fine.
The wasp is dead.
Tell us all about Sharon.

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 16:58:41

Sharon has magnetic eyes and pneumatic buttocks.

SharontheHoor Wed 11-May-11 16:59:06


Suncottage Wed 11-May-11 16:59:37

Could you please put Sharon on? Go and fetch her - take my car.

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 16:59:45


Have you come to paint? Or are there more wasps in your pocket?

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 16:59:47

Good point Netto , think I might have gone off track a wee bit there .

Now what was the point of this again ?

Oh yes Sharon , who the fuckery is Sharon and why does he like her ?
Why don't you like her ?
Why don't you invite Sharon round ?
Do you have any pampas grass ? Sharons like that stuff

HecateQueenOfTheNight Wed 11-May-11 16:59:55

If you think he fancies Sharon - is the wall really your priority?

Bugger the wall. It doesn't matter. Pick your battles. Grab a paintbrush and whap some magnolia over it and deal with the actual issue.

And I do mean that kindly, even though it may not read that way.

SharontheHoor Wed 11-May-11 17:00:33

i don't fecking paint, me nails would be ruined - i just get a man in....

ItsSharon Wed 11-May-11 17:00:49

Oh thats right blame me, everyone always blames me hmm

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 17:01:25

Shaz, have you had relations with the wine-thrower?

HecateQueenOfTheNight Wed 11-May-11 17:01:27

You lot are mean and you are norty. grin

AuntieMonica Wed 11-May-11 17:01:27

i hope this isn't another thread about F&B paint.......

<vested interest in opposition>

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 17:01:29

i ate too many truffles and now i feel sick but i have to go and put the dinner on and drink my cup of tea before dh gets home and ill speak to him about the wall because hes ruined everything and im so upset. can wasps still sting when there dead because i heard they can and i dont want to get stung today. i will be back online later and ill tell you if he has decded to paint th e awll.

ChaoticAngelQueenofAnarchy Wed 11-May-11 17:02:01

<makes self comfortable and helps herself to some of Suncottage's wine>

<waits for next instalment>

Someone elses man perchance Sharon?
You fucking hoor.

SharontheHoor Wed 11-May-11 17:02:31

her lounge is minging anyway, doesn't even have a proper fecking feature wall. i love a good feature wall with that posh wallpaper from b&q with the big purple flowers

Whoa. Too many Sharon's.

Oh, and to quote a dame I know...what the actual Jeff?!

Hassled Wed 11-May-11 17:02:39

grin at Hecate being nice and sensible.

Sharon - both of you - it's good to hear from you. I was waiting to hear from the wasp until I remembered it was dead.

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 17:02:42

Ok serious answer now

Yes he should paint the wall
And yes you should talk to him about Sharon , properly , without wine probably .

AuntieMonica Wed 11-May-11 17:02:58

wtf is he doing at work? thought he was too pissed weak to even paint?

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 17:03:10

I am in love with SharontheHoor and I don't care who knows it. Let them throw wine.

Bearcrumble Wed 11-May-11 17:03:10

Use a dustpan and brush for the wasp.

Don't sick up your truffles on the wall.

TheCowardlyLion Wed 11-May-11 17:03:35

PMSL at VinegarTits whiteboard. I do think you need to add:

magnolia walls
white carpet
cup of tea

to the list.

That apostrophe wasn't me. It was the evil iPad <smacks iPad against wine soaked wall>

Bathsheba Wed 11-May-11 17:03:55

I'm a Sharon. Its not me. No-one fancies me......esp not enough to waste wine over...


HecateQueenOfTheNight Wed 11-May-11 17:04:00


Is this a joke thread?


Suncottage Wed 11-May-11 17:04:03

I shall cook dinner for you OP - Don't leave us like this!

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 17:04:09

And truffles Lion don't forget the truffles .

SharontheHoor Wed 11-May-11 17:04:29

cheers hully dear, i haven't nothin against the lesbians and there was that incident in teh pub toilet last year with trace but i think i will pass

TheCowardlyLion Wed 11-May-11 17:04:42

Oh crap. Add 'truffles' to the list too.

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 17:05:06

<plots elopement with SharontheHoor>

AuntieMonica Wed 11-May-11 17:05:12

wink at Bathsheba

you come here often?

Hassled Wed 11-May-11 17:05:17

Hecate - no-one knows. But let's never forget that a wasp died today.

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 17:05:53

<ignores SharontheHoor's reluctance, convinced she can lure her up the other end of the ballroom>

VinegarTits Wed 11-May-11 17:06:09

something not right about the stain on this wall <tilts head sideways>

<adds to list>

cup of tea

Suncottage Wed 11-May-11 17:06:25

Oohhh better add nuts as well to the whiteboard, bound to show up sooner or later.

fearnelinen Wed 11-May-11 17:06:36

OP I made too much spaghetti - here you go...
Sharonthehoor I think you ought to feck off - look what you've done, bitch.

OTheHugeManatee Wed 11-May-11 17:06:45



Blu Wed 11-May-11 17:07:05

Did he kill the wasp when he threw the wine?
I would call the RSPCA.
It's animal abuse.

VinegarTits Wed 11-May-11 17:07:26

<puts on rubber gloves>

<bags up the wine glass, truffles and dead wasp>

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 17:07:54

Don't speak to SharontheHoor thusly! She is a Lady. My Lady. I shall honour her with wasps.

I like how the OP doesn't want the wasp to sting her today as though wasp stinging may be welcome some other time.

Bathsheba Wed 11-May-11 17:08:20

OPretty much all the time Auntie Monica..:-)

ChaoticAngelQueenofAnarchy Wed 11-May-11 17:08:30

Add southern comfort and lemonade to the board as well grin

Blu Wed 11-May-11 17:08:59

(VT - 'mucky dishcloth' nees to go on the whiteboard)

VinegarTits Wed 11-May-11 17:09:06

i need to go to the lab with these, someone keep taking notes on my white board?

Hang on, where did the callroom come from, and why has no one answered me about Turkey?

VinegarTits Wed 11-May-11 17:09:29

<hands pen to blu>

Oh fuck callroom Ballroom.

AuntieMonica Wed 11-May-11 17:10:36

it's just i'm fairly new around here, but you caught my eye wink again

<searches depths of dating history for new chat up line>

erm...would you like to come out for a drink with me sometime?

Blu Wed 11-May-11 17:10:38

Gottit, guv.

Hassled Wed 11-May-11 17:11:26

Why was the dishcloth mucky?

BootyMum Wed 11-May-11 17:12:37

I still don't get it! <wails>

But never mind, it's now after 5pm and i'm sure wine will make it much better smile

And this thread more understandable!

TheCowardlyLion Wed 11-May-11 17:12:38

And why was the wasp dead? Who killed it?

<narrows eyes suspiciously>

LouMou Wed 11-May-11 17:13:27

I think we need more information. What does your cat think of Sharon. I heard shes a right cow and told him to throw the wine and eat your truffles. Oh yes.

ChaoticAngelQueenofAnarchy Wed 11-May-11 17:14:00

The butler killed it grin

Blu Wed 11-May-11 17:16:49

Establish owner of truffles.
and flavour.

ObiWan Wed 11-May-11 17:19:31

Until you/we get to the bottom of the Sharon thing, it might be wise to stick to pale food and white wine.
You might not be so lucky with the carpet next time.

GhostofTheWasp Wed 11-May-11 17:20:13


Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 17:31:49

<holds seance, communes with wasp>

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 17:34:03

So come on then wasp , WTF went on here ?

Mumofaflump Wed 11-May-11 17:36:26

I need to know if it was own brand wine or not? Also, did you get it from Waitrose or Asda. Or, did Sharon buy it for your husband?

Was it Lambrini?

ObiWan Wed 11-May-11 17:39:15

Well if the wine was from Asda it would have stripped the paint, and burnt a hole in the carpet.
But we know that the carpet is fine.
Maybe the fumes killed the wasp!?

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar Wed 11-May-11 17:39:39

He prefers Sharon because your dishcloths are mucky, Mario. You are a filthy slattern.

Sharon on the other hand is like Anthea Turner.

GhostofTheWasp Wed 11-May-11 17:40:41

Zzzz, Bzzz zzzzz zz zzz ZZ zzzzzzz zzzzzz, zzz zzzzzzzzz bzzbzz bzzz zzz zz z bzzbbzz zz zzzz zzzbz bzz zzzzzz zzz ZZZZZZ ZZZ ZZZZ ZZ ZZZ ZZZZ!! shock

"Bzz zzz zzzz zz Bzzzzzz?" zzzz zzz

"ZZZZ!" zzz zzzzzzzz

angry Z zzzz zzzzz bzz zzzzz, zzzz zzzzzzz zzzz zz bzzz zzzz.


I've just been to the shop (for eggs) and was standing behind a woman buying Lambrini and doritos. She was also wearing see through leggings, and trust me, there was nowt you'd want to see under them.

Was that you Sharon?

Maiasaurus Wed 11-May-11 17:42:33

DH just walked and said, "Mumsnet, again?"

I told him to read this thread as it is very funny.

<<DH reads>>

DH comments, "Bit early for wasps. Classic red herring. Or a plant."

Now I am proper confused. hmm

Maybe she has a red herring in the curtain pole, put there by Sharon.

Psammead Wed 11-May-11 17:45:07

People, you disgust me. There are serious issues at stake here.

Wine has been spilled. Actual wine. Think about that for a moment, will you?

Why will NOBODY think of the WIIINE?

There are thirsty children in this world, and here, good wine is being casually tossed against walls. And all you can think about are wasps and truffles, I ask you.


What's herrings and plants got to do with paint?

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 17:46:45

Just glad it wasn't my wine , and very unsure how he managed to not get any on the white carpet .

White carpet ? Now there is a red herring if ever I heard one . Who the hell has white carpets ?

DH is asleep on the sofa. I am reading this with STREAMS of tears as I am laughing so hard. He keeps twitching and going "what is it" but I am rendered incapable of speaking.
I would give anything to be a fly on the wall in Mario's house.
(Or maybe not, considering the fate of the wasp)

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 17:47:56

Good point Mr Maisaurus , no wasps around these parts either . Maybe it was a robo spy wasp put there to keep an eye on Sharon ?

Maiasaurus Wed 11-May-11 17:48:08

Netto Decaying Hebe and Beached Herring are Farrow and Ball paint colours, I think.

If not, they should be.

I have a beige carpet. What a mistake to make.
I know lots of Sharons. I live in Essex. Coincidence?

LittleMissFlustered Wed 11-May-11 17:50:02

If it was white wine it was no great loss...

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 17:50:56

Beige I can understand (ish) but white for goodness sake ? Just why would you do that ?

Do you know any Sharons who have been flirting with a man with an ulcer GandT ? With a good wrist action ?

LittleMissFlustered Wed 11-May-11 17:51:02

Sorry, that was an auto-post by my fingers with no brain interaction. Carry on!

ObiWan Wed 11-May-11 17:51:34

Who has the whiteboard??
The wine was difinitely red.

Maiasaurus Wed 11-May-11 17:51:52

MrM has returned to suggest that the wasp has been laying there, dead, since last summer. shock

He thinks that Sharon might have higher standards, what with her feature wall and everything.

ObiWan Wed 11-May-11 17:54:10

Argh, in this strange world I have lost the ability to spell and keep up blush

Blu Wed 11-May-11 17:54:52

Someone who gives house room to a mucky discloth could easily have left a dead wasp on the carpet since last Autumn.

There were a few random wasps around our house a few weeks ago.

<<leaves rotting apple core for ghost of wasp and searches Google for a Wasp Translator Programme>>

Wasp - could you fly towards Sharon, please? Lead us to her?

Psammead Wed 11-May-11 17:56:17

In the OP's defense, she clearly stated that the carpet 'was' white. Its actual, current colour has yet to be established.

I should imagine pale pink with hint of wasp carcass

If I see that on the F&B list I will be havin' wurds

I don't know if any Sharons who I know have been flirting with man with ulcer.
But I will question them intently! grin

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 18:03:45

Thank you very much GandT , I think we need all the help we can get on this one .

SharontheHoor Wed 11-May-11 18:04:33

sorry girls was just out buying some lambrini, dorritos and 20 dunhill extra long

SharontheHoor Wed 11-May-11 18:05:16

hes only got an ulcer cos her cooking is shite. i give him proper food like egg and chip

Just the one chip sharon?

wink btw

SharontheHoor Wed 11-May-11 18:06:31


LadyBeagleEyes Wed 11-May-11 18:06:40

We had a wasp the other day, I remember because my dog tried to catch it.
Or maybe it was a bee.

ObiWan Wed 11-May-11 18:08:15

Perhaps it was a hornet.

Well this thread is a hornets nest.

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 18:09:46

I think we need a photo of the insect and of course the wine stain .

Would love a pic of Sharon .

worraliberty Wed 11-May-11 18:15:08

Don't touch the wasp, it might simply be drunk after licking the wall......

GetOrfMoiCase Wed 11-May-11 18:16:59

lolol at you lot.

Poor old shazzer.

fruitshootsandheaves Wed 11-May-11 18:17:30

It's not too early for wasps. I've had 2 dead ones in my house so far, AND I've had to destroy two nests in the garden. I think there is a wasp eped eperd epedemic problem this year because of too much wasted red wine.

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 18:19:46

Wasted red wine ?

Who is wasting wine ?

Apart from ulcer boy who fancies Sharon of course .

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 11-May-11 18:19:55

Oh, and another Very Important Question that nobody has answered.
Can wasps sting when they're dead.
Over to you, ghostofawasp.

fearnelinen Wed 11-May-11 18:23:25

Who wouldn't fancy Sharon?

fearnelinen Wed 11-May-11 18:24:05

She's a Goal Shooter ffs

fruitshootsandheaves Wed 11-May-11 18:24:40

if you pick one up and thrust its bottom into your finger I would imagine that the sting may still work. Therefore I suggest you stay away from its rear end while attempting any kind of WPR (wasp resuscitation)

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 18:25:52

Ulcer boy has got some good taste in women there I see .

fearnelinen Wed 11-May-11 18:26:19

OMG - Just found out this shocking piece of news...it was an attempted murder surely?

Can wasps sting you if they are dead?

Yes — the venom sac at the end of a wasp sting keeps pulsing for a short period after a wasp dies, so if you come in contact with the sting you may still be injected with venom.

ObiWan Wed 11-May-11 18:29:35

Just one more thing for the OP to worry about...

ShowOfHands Wed 11-May-11 18:31:33

Team Sharon.

My Dad threw a fry up at the ceiling once. Just saying.

fruitshootsandheaves Wed 11-May-11 18:33:50

My Sil once threw red wine at my wall.
There was no wasp involved though.
Well I don't think there was, I wasn't actually here at the time.
Her name is not Sharon although it does begin with the same letter.

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 18:33:56

My mum threw a cowboy boot at my dads head once , and nearly an armchair but wasn't quite sober strong enough to lift it .

They are now happily divorced .

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 18:34:41

Come away with me, Shazzer. You know you want to.

<waves dead wasp enticingly>

GhostofTheWasp Wed 11-May-11 18:35:35

Bzz zzz zzz winewinewine bzz ZZZZZZZ ZZZ ZZZZZZZ!!!!!!



TheCowardlyLion Wed 11-May-11 18:37:07

Is anyone else worried by the OP's disappearance?

Blu - add it to the whiteboard:

OP went to put dinner on at 17.01 and has not returned.

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 11-May-11 18:37:12

I throw my wellies at the dog when he's being naughty. Never hit him though, I always aim to the left.

LynetteScavo Wed 11-May-11 18:38:38

Bloody hell, this thread is like reading squirel nutkin. with no capital letters.

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 11-May-11 18:38:47

Yeah Ghost, I thought that, nice to have it confirmed.

LynetteScavo Wed 11-May-11 18:40:40

I threw a wall paper boarder at the floor once. It bounced up and went into the door, making a hole in the door. (Twigden new build). No body believed me, everyone thought I kicked the door.

Why would I lie? confused

fruitshootsandheaves Wed 11-May-11 18:42:16

my dog would fetch the welliies.
Also my new wellies have a really irratatingly good grip and therefore hold alot of mud in the ridges, this dried mud would fly out on boot launching resulting in a trail of hard mud bits which would make me crosser with the dog and the welly design. So I wouldn't do this.

SharontheHoor Wed 11-May-11 18:44:08


Blu Wed 11-May-11 18:48:10

TCL - she has an alibi though - she "went to out the dinner on".

The question is, can she prove that?

Blu Wed 11-May-11 18:49:30

Sorry, I need to leave the Incident Room to "put the dinner on" too - can someone take over the whiteboard?

ObiWan Wed 11-May-11 18:49:32

She's bound to be back soon. Then we can decide whether she's being unreasonable or not.

ObiWan Wed 11-May-11 18:50:05

The OP I mean!!

shockers Wed 11-May-11 18:50:05

Do wasps have tongues?

Maiasaurus Wed 11-May-11 18:50:14

Classy, Sharon.

But why are you wearing men's shoes?

Are they for wasp-stamping?

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 11-May-11 18:50:20

Sharon, you look just as I imagined!

TheCowardlyLion Wed 11-May-11 18:51:16

She went to put the dinner on - yes - but am I the only one who finds that sinister?

Her DH has a stomach ulcer, and the OP has just been scoffing truffles! Who, therefore, is this so-called dinner for?

<taps side of nose; strokes moustache knowingly>

It's all about ze leetle grey cells.

SharontheHoor Wed 11-May-11 18:51:53

yes you can't be too careful with wasps you know. i find brogues and knee socks a must when i am cupping my breasts and gurning at the camera in teh skud

TheCowardlyLion Wed 11-May-11 18:52:28

<takes over whiteboard from Blu>

<adds: OP went to put dinner on>

<adds: Blu went to put dinner on>

<narrows eyes suspiciously>

VinegarTits Wed 11-May-11 18:59:56

<comes back from lab with results>

the dead wasp is INDEED a dead wasp that MAY have died in mysterious circumstances hmm but we woNt know until the autopsy

the truffles are tasty belgium

the wine glass is from a cheap Tesco pack of 4

(the plot thickens)

Hassled Wed 11-May-11 19:02:05

My mother threw a block of ice-cream at my brother once. Back when ice-cream came in cardboard rectangles. Anyway, she missed, and it slid in slow motion down the wall. In her defence, my brother was obnoxious in those days.
There were no wasps involved, sadly.

Bigglewinkle Wed 11-May-11 19:02:20

Love it - a total hijacking of thread - can that be added to the whiteboard? This has really helped me cope with windy crying baby (I'm reading this on my phone while jiggling DD)
Glass of wine would help too - any spare for me??

fruitshootsandheaves Wed 11-May-11 19:03:53

What flavour ice cream was it?

Hassled Wed 11-May-11 19:05:55

It was white. I'm guessing vanilla. In the seventies, vanilla icecream was the colour of snow. None of this "cream" bollocks back then.

I am fucking sickened by this thread.
Mumsnet at its worst. Laughing, laughing about wine being purposely wasted??

It's sick. Disgusting I tell you.

I will be reporting.

fruitshootsandheaves Wed 11-May-11 19:09:17

Ah yes, I remember it well. I thought it may have been that white, pink and brown sort. Neopolitan was it called? That would have made a pretty rainbow as it slid down the wall
We used to cut it into small blocks with a couple of those flat wafers, one each side as a icecream sandwich pudding after tea.

Shodan Wed 11-May-11 19:10:12

I don't think Sharon is a person at all. I think 'sharon' is a colloquial term for sex.

Therefore Mr OP was teling the OP that he fancied 'sharon' (aka a roll in the hay/a bit of howz yer father/a bit of slap and tickle), and she said bad words because he didn't believe that she had a truffle headache.

Also wine, in this scenario, is not wine. It is symbolic. Frustrated in his pursuit of 'sharon', and somewhat worked up as a consequence, he did not throw 'wine' at the wall but something else. (I will not clarify further; I know all MNers are clever enough to fill in the gaps).

The wasp is, as suggested earlier, not a wasp, but a red herring. Herrings should be served with a little mustard and a green salad, not left lying around on floors. They are not usually red either- the OP should take this up with her fishmonger.

'Putting the dinner on'- perhaps the OP has changed her mind about having 'sharon' and has gone off to decorate her nether regions with parsley and her bosoms with meringue nests.

fruitshootsandheaves Wed 11-May-11 19:11:35

parsley and meringue nests would not compliment each other. She needs to rethink her culinary offerings.

ChiswardOfOz Wed 11-May-11 19:11:53

A friend of mine has fork prong scarring in the middle of her otherwise pristine forehead due to her sister throwing a fork across the table during a particularly robust family discussion at tea. Apparently it lodged in her head and had to be pulled out. Again superb wrist-flick action from the perpetrator. A word of warning. OP should hide the forks.

BarbaraBar Wed 11-May-11 19:13:15

Intersting point Shodan. However,

Sharon = Sharon Wicks = dicks.

He fancied some cock. And more than one judging by the use of the plural. The OP couldn't oblige, ergo wine against wall.


I feel like it's my three year old talking:

When I was a nursery last yesterday William Connor called me a banana head but not William Parker coz he's got blond hair and when I went to stay at grandma's we saw Henry and Thomas and Thomas didn't eat his crisps no because I like crisps can I have some crisps because crisps are my favourite and daddy's favourite can I watch some peppa pig?

LynetteScavo Wed 11-May-11 19:16:13

Are we talking real truffles or chocolate truffles?

I've heard that white wine helps to get red wine stains out of things, so could you throw white wine at the wall? It could save you both from painting

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 11-May-11 19:18:26

Think it must be Walls ice-cream that you remember, twas the only ice cream in the seventies. it was a strange yellow colour (vanilla) but I have very happy memories of it.
Ice cream is all poncey now.

Shodan Wed 11-May-11 19:18:47

<bows to BarbaraBar>

I think you have it there. That would explain the Bad Words.

GloriaSmut Wed 11-May-11 19:24:57

I went to hispotal earlier this week. I'm sure I saw that Jezebel, Sharon. She must have caught my eye though because she moved too quickly for me to hit her with a moribund wasp.

BarbaraBar Wed 11-May-11 19:31:20

This is one of those threads that makes my head explode.


Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 19:32:25

<pines for SharontheHoor>

ObiWan Wed 11-May-11 19:32:43

Perhaps that's what happened to the wasp?

My dad once shook a bottle of ketchup with a loosened cap. The red stain on our dining room wall never came out <sage nod>

fearnelinen Wed 11-May-11 19:36:14

I got some poncey posh Cream Neopolitan ice cream just the other day. It was so posh that they called it Neopolitana. just saying like. Come back OP!

fearnelinen Wed 11-May-11 19:37:12

My Mum once threw an ashtray at my Dad...think she may have just signed the life insurance papers...confused

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 19:37:23

I hope she didn't stumble on yon wasp.

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 19:39:53

hello everyone. I read my first post and realise it didnt make much sense so ill try and retell my story a little clearer so everyone can understand and help me with mumsnet advice. so dh and i were arguing about sharon and dh got cross because I said he was like his dad so he got cross and threw a glass of red wine at the floor full stop but it didnt go on the carpet, it just went on the wall. I only painted that last week so I was very cross and said to DH he must paint it because he made the mess so he wiped it with the mucky dishcoth and made it worse and then said he wasnt painting it because decorating was my job because I said that 3 months ago and adam was looking confused on fruit and veg and i was angry at dh because he still hadnt cleaned up the wasp like he said he would and that means I had to do that as well as repaint the wall so I came onto mumsnet to ask for advice and then went to make a cup of tea and then ate some truffles and then felt sick so did DS some pizza but I didnt have any.
So AIBU for making dh paint the wall? the cornettos were really nice though and they are on offer at tesco at the moment so you should buy them from there.

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 19:43:05

Who is Adam ?

And please tell us the story about Sharon .

Maiasaurus Wed 11-May-11 19:43:24

Who is Sharon?

And who the actual Jeff is Adam?

fearnelinen Wed 11-May-11 19:44:02

Adam has no need to be confused...it's all gravy

BarbaraBar Wed 11-May-11 19:44:29

I heart you mario91

SeymoreButts Wed 11-May-11 19:49:02

<wonders if "fruit and veg" is rhyming slang>

<but for what?>

SeymoreButts Wed 11-May-11 19:49:16


LynetteScavo Wed 11-May-11 19:50:17

Hello everyone. I read my first post and realise it didnt make much sense so I'll try and retell my story a little clearer so everyone can understand and help me with mumsnet advice.

Dh and I were arguing about Sharon and DH got cross because I said he was like his dad. So he got cross and threw a glass of red wine at the floor. Full stop. (But it didnt go on the carpet, it just went on the wall.)

I only painted that last week, so I was very cross, and said to DH he must paint it because he made the mess, so he wiped it with the mucky dishcoth and made it worse, and then said he wasnt painting it because decorating was my job.He said that because I said that 3 months ago.

Adam was looking confused on fruit and veg.

I was angry at DH because he still hadn't cleaned up the wasp like he said he would, and that means I had to do that as well as repaint the wall. So I came onto mumsnet to ask for advice. Then went to make a cup of tea, and then ate some truffles, and then felt sick. So cooked DS some pizza, but I didnt have any.
So AIBU for making dh paint the wall? The Cornettos were really nice though, and they are on offer at tesco at the moment so you should buy them from there.

OP, are you in Year 2? If so, you really shouldn't have a DH and a DS. But you probably won't to get a 2b in you SATs. smile

geordieminx Wed 11-May-11 19:51:26

Fuck me sideways.

I feel like I have slipped into some sort of parallel universe.

Again. Who the fuck is Sharon. And also, while we are at it, who the cocking hell is Adam???

SeymoreButts Wed 11-May-11 19:52:27


muminthecity Wed 11-May-11 19:53:10

My mum squirted yoghurt up the living room wall by accident about 3 years ago. The yoghurt is still there, decorating the wall to this day.

OP, could you make the best of it, and turn it into a feature wall? A red wine pattern could look quite nice and modern on your magnolia wall.

What do Sharon and Adam think of the whole situation? Have they been able to offer any advice? Do you think it was the alcohol fumes or the paint fumes that killed the wasp?

ObiWan Wed 11-May-11 19:53:16

Adam was looking confused on fruit and veg.

I am crying with laughter. It's all just so ramdom.

Hassled Wed 11-May-11 19:53:26

wedge? ledge? They never put Adam on the window ledge, did they? shock

ObiWan Wed 11-May-11 19:53:54

Random evem! The tears have blinded me.

AuntyJ Wed 11-May-11 19:54:12

I'm still confused....
By the way whats the offer on the cornettos?

ObiWan Wed 11-May-11 19:54:15

Even FGS!!

AuntieMonica Wed 11-May-11 19:54:24

thanks Lynette but am still in the dark as to wtf Adam on fruit and veg has got to with it.

And Cornettos confused

but, for the record, a man who throws wine at a wall and fancies Sharon should be made to lick said wine off, dirty dish cloth mark or not.

muminthecity Wed 11-May-11 19:54:58

Reg? Adam and Reg were at it, OP walked in on them and Adam looked confused as to why she was interrupting their sex session. Or something.

Maiasaurus Wed 11-May-11 19:55:24

With the wasp, Hassled ??!!?

Bet you're glad you aren't going to the meet up now. You would have missed all this drama. grin

Hassled Wed 11-May-11 19:55:52

If I were Adam in this scenario I think I'd probably be looking confused, however much cabbage I'd eaten.

muminthecity Wed 11-May-11 19:56:39

OP, I think you need to sit down with DH, Sharon, Adam and Reg and try to work through some of these issues. Arranging a nice funeral for the wasp together may help give you some closure.

northerngirl41 Wed 11-May-11 19:57:59

YABU - I never paint anything unless it's vinyl paint and can be wiped down... Pah! Bit of wine never hurt any of my walls!! Neither does crayon, coffee, squished bugs, or Ribena (all extensively tested).

Flisspaps Wed 11-May-11 19:58:17

Was Adam the wasp?

OP, if you tell us who the fuck Sharon is, I'll come and paint the sodding wall!

SeymoreButts Wed 11-May-11 19:58:26

Ask Reg to bring more of those truffles next time too.

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 19:59:09

I dont understand who reg is

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 20:00:00

Do you think this is Gabby with a name change ?

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 20:00:42

It is a sad, yet all too familiar scenario.

How oft such tragic situations arise all unlooked for.

AuntieMonica Wed 11-May-11 20:00:52

never mind Reg, OP who the heck is Sharon?!

fearnelinen Wed 11-May-11 20:01:25

mario91 are you posting via telegram question mark full stop

Ninxy Wed 11-May-11 20:01:45

What a fucking terrible waste of wine. Unless it was Thunderbird or Lambrusco. Or Blue Nun.

I would be loathe to give the OP a solid level two as well but my SIL has a recent Masters in English and is only a little more advanced in terms of literacy.

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 11-May-11 20:01:58

are you called Vicki?

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 11-May-11 20:02:27


Ninxy Wed 11-May-11 20:02:51

Oh <facepalm> it's Gabby.

AuntieMonica Wed 11-May-11 20:03:36

orright Gabby, bit boring without the footie on eh?

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 20:04:07

It is the only logical conclusion I can come up with .

We can't have two this frigging weird confusing can we ?

SeymoreButts Wed 11-May-11 20:06:47

Thanks Gabs, that was brilliant!

<wipes mascara from cheeks>

magicmelons Wed 11-May-11 20:07:40

The wasp had to go, he knew too much.

InPraiseOfBacchus Wed 11-May-11 20:10:11


Love from Sharon x

Leave who? DH? Adam? Reg? or the wasp?

shakey1500 Wed 11-May-11 20:11:12

<crying with laughter> smile

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 20:23:36

adam is who sent DH the rainbow videos

Is this anything to do with Eastenders?! I haven't seen it for years, but Sharon, fruit and veg and throwing wine in an argument have made me wonder. Is there an Adam in it nowadays???

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 20:27:17

Of course he is , I should have realised , sorry .

So do you have more wine yet ?

rainbow videos - when was this 1980????

Why was adam on fruit and veg? Does he like cucumbers and bananas that much?

I think I'm beginning to get it, DH has been getting off on rainbow videos which star sharon, he regularly invites adam and reg over to watch the videos and play with his fruit and veg, whilst indulging in a bit of wasp fetish, OP has found out about it and has put her foot down killing said wasp, DH wasn't happy about his little plaything being murdered and threw the wine.

strawberrymewmew Wed 11-May-11 20:38:24

I would have licked the wine off the wall, what a waste!

R.I.P Deed wasp!

strawberrymewmew Wed 11-May-11 20:39:03

Oh wait, I only read 2 pages in! Didn't realise there was 12 pages. smile

Great thread
Reminds me of a song by Kate Nash

Bellagio Wed 11-May-11 20:46:31

Sorry but...

wwwwwhat the actual fuck...?

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 20:49:51

adam sent dh rainbow videos and it reminded me of how bossy bungle was and I said dh was bungle so he said I was zippy because he wanted to zip my mouthtogether so I said he was george because he was a big pink girly boy and he got cross at me and went to sharons house. Adam was confused.

LadyGrace Wed 11-May-11 20:50:29

Adam can join the club grin

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 20:51:05

and this is what started the argument about sharon.

HumperdinkFangboner Wed 11-May-11 20:51:14

oh mario <weeps>

that bungle was a bossy fucker, I agree.

AuntyJ Wed 11-May-11 20:51:40

Adam isnt the only one who is confused.

SeymoreButts Wed 11-May-11 20:52:32

Wait. Did you accuse DH of being his Dad and Bungle, or are they one and the same? If it's the latter, everything falls into place.

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 20:53:30

no I said he was his dad because he was childish kicking off over being called bungle

GloriaSmut Wed 11-May-11 20:54:18

I'm inclined to think a spot of quantum physics would be easier on the head. That or a potter through "Dialectical Materialism for Dummies".

Well you know that thread that's going about, the one about mumsnet royalty.

Well I hereby crown Mario91 queen of all mumsnet.

Everyone else just pales in comparison.

Absolute quality.

Fontsnob Wed 11-May-11 20:56:09

Mad as a box of frogs.

Maiasaurus Wed 11-May-11 20:56:31

Up above the streets and houses
Rainbow climbing high....

Paint .the . whole . world . with . a . RAINBOW

<<rocking gently in a corner now>>

ladywhiteadder Wed 11-May-11 20:57:31

Cornettos? Surely what a magnolia wall needs is a nice bit of Viennetta. Or would that feel too frivolous in the wake of the tragic passing of waspy?

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 20:58:19

I've reached page 12 with aching ribs. We still haven't established who Sharon is yet??
And now there is Adam; who is confused? Ffs aren't we all?

And now, rainbow videos. O.K.

Well I'm sipping away, I haven't laughed this much in years, DH thinks I've spiked my own drink.

Can anyone else hear the twilight zone theme?
Just me then
Cheers wine

Has anyone mentioned Bumsex yet, or is that topic only for Fridays?

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:02:03

Now I am humming the friggin rainbow tune.
Thanks a stack, Maiasaurus!

strawberrymewmew Wed 11-May-11 21:02:10

No hardcolin pretty sure I'm hearing the twilight zone theme....

I want to know who the bloody hell Sharon is!!!!

TheCowardlyLion Wed 11-May-11 21:03:08

I am actually crying with laughter. It was Adam and the fruit and veg and the cornettos and Rainbow videos - just too much.

SeymoreButts Wed 11-May-11 21:03:28

Sharon is Bungle.


i HAVE to ask, and am not trawling through 12 pages (even though it is very funny!) is this someone having a joke with regular users OR a dumb troll and regular users having a laugh with dumb troll?? please someone tell me!

But who is Sharon?

And why do you have white carpet in your kitchen?

CheerfulYank Wed 11-May-11 21:06:53

If you have white carpet in your kitchen you're just begging for trouble, Sharon-related or otherwise. <nods head sagely>

Hassled Wed 11-May-11 21:07:36

Geoffrey was a bit sinister, wasn't he? He moonlighted as a mafioso, I reckon.

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:07:52

Stop confusing the OP.
The focus is on Sharon, Adam, Bungle, Zippy and 'the video'

Stay away from the goid damn carpet talk! I don't care about the carpet.

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:08:12

or god damn carpet, even

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:09:45

Geoffrey moonlighted?

TragicallyHip Wed 11-May-11 21:10:59


I feel bad for Sharon..

Georgimama Wed 11-May-11 21:12:22

I am 28 weeks pregnant and have a chest infection. This thread has brought on a laughter induced coughing fit which has led to a tiny bit of wee coming out. It was worth it though.

I literally have no idea what the OP is going on about at all.

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:13:18

You are right about something , that Bungle was a bossy bugger and if you think your DH is like him then you have problems .

Is he naked and furry but wears pyamas at bedtime ?

nenevomito Wed 11-May-11 21:13:42

I think I have got it.

The wasp was attracted by the smell of fruit brought by adam fruit and veg. Sharon Fruit was a bit exotic, but adam didn't mind.

The wine is just a red herring.

bullet234 Wed 11-May-11 21:14:48

It is all so clear.
What Mario91's husband meant to say was that he fancied some sharon fruit.
We know that there was fruit in the house, due to the statement that Adam was confused by it.
However, the wasp was, in fact, a mind control wasp. One of those species that can bend another creature's will to its own.
And having been wafted at by Mario91 at some unspecified time in the past, it sought its revenge by preventing her dh from completely uttering his desire. Instead his curtailed words led to confusion and anger.
Realising what was going on, having observed the malevolent gleam in the wasp's eyes, Mario's dh summoned up all his strength and flung his glass at the wall where the wasp was, thereby slaying it and freeing himself from its mental bonds.
Leaving only a maroon stain and a stiff, fuzzy corpse.

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 21:14:59

this is all so confusing, im not good with words but the argument after the rainbow fiasco was about dh always been at sharons house because he is but now its about the wine on the wall and the carpet is more of a biscuit colour i suppose not white and be careful of the cornettos because they are quite sickly.

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:16:00

But who is Sharon ?

Please tell me .

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:17:15

Naked and furry? grin

SeymoreButts Wed 11-May-11 21:18:55

Why is everyone ignoring my gavel? Do I need a bigger one?

Sharon is Bungle.

TragicallyHip Wed 11-May-11 21:19:58

We cannot possibly give you advice until you tell us who Sharon is!

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:20:52

We need to know who Sharon is. You can use an alias, if that helps.

Georgimama Wed 11-May-11 21:21:14


Are you on drugs?

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:21:21

Sharon is bungle according to the gavel wielding Seymore .

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:21:52

I disagree, Sharon is not Bungle.

ladywhiteadder Wed 11-May-11 21:22:32

When is Trevor Eve getting here?

SeymoreButts Wed 11-May-11 21:23:38

She is according to my flowchart.

Maybe I've gone wrong somewhere.

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:24:23

Exactly I thought her DH was Bungle .

I still need more info about bloody sodding buggering Sharon .

I am begging now .

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 21:26:22

sharon plays erasure down the street and dh always goes to see her

TragicallyHip Wed 11-May-11 21:27:01

I don't think Sharon is Bungle, Adam is which is why he was confused on Fruit and Veg

I think sharon is an alien with three eyes who is really called bug.

Georgimama Wed 11-May-11 21:27:10

Is "plays Erasure" some sort of euphemism?

celticlassie Wed 11-May-11 21:28:00

Ah, Erasure! That explains it.

confused grin

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:28:18

So he always goes off to see another woman when you row ?

Do you know Sharon as well ?

Does Sharon come to your house ?

Or is she a barmaid and he is just at the pub drinking beer ?

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:29:14

I want a cornetto now , but not a truffle .

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 21:29:54

she lives down the street and i know her a bit but not a lot but i used to speak to her a bit but dh goes to her house all the time now and i dont anymore but i dont like him going there so often but he says im being bossy like bungle and like his mum

TragicallyHip Wed 11-May-11 21:30:27

Ah yes that makes more sense

Dh fancies the Erasure playing Sharon

What's his favourite? Blue Savannah?

DooinMeCleanin Wed 11-May-11 21:30:40

So Adam got confused about Rainbow, which is why he sat on the fruit and veg?

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:30:59

But I thought he was like Bungle and his dad ?

So is his mum Bungle or Jane ?

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 21:31:31

adam was confused that we argued over rainbow

TragicallyHip Wed 11-May-11 21:31:34

So you are Bungle and Dh is Zippy?

ShinyMoonInAPurpleSky Wed 11-May-11 21:31:45

Well I can safely and honestly say without a doubt that I'm not Sharon.

But that's about all I can be sure of with this thread confused

Ah, many men go for women who are like their mum apparently......

I'd be more worried about him being like bungle, is he really hairy too?

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:32:03

Ok, say you were Adam aka Bungle. I agree you would be confused, but would you need the fruit and veg (in order to be confused)?

Sharon plays Erasure. Down the street.

This is just like charades. Only not

I think you should make Sharon come to your house and re-paint the wall.

fearnelinen Wed 11-May-11 21:33:21

Give a leetle respeee-eeeect to-oo-ooooo meeeeeee

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:33:45

No TragicallyHip I believe OP said her DH said she was Zippy (or just like Zippy)

DooinMeCleanin Wed 11-May-11 21:34:28

I thought DH and his Dad were Bungle and Adam was cofused. Or was Dh George? The op is Zippy and Bungle, who is like Dh's mum and Dad. Adam sat on some fruit. Sharon likes Erasure.

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:35:10

Who is Adam?

TheCowardlyLion Wed 11-May-11 21:35:23

Ooh, I've got it!

It's a code! Obviously. We just need to work out the meanings of the key words: Sharon, truffles, wine, wasp, carpet, erasure, rainbow, adam.

<scribbles frantically>

'Help me, I am being held against my will by masked hostage takers in Basildon. Alert the Finnish Embassy!'

TragicallyHip Wed 11-May-11 21:36:11

Ah I see now, Op is Zippy and Dh is Bungle. That's where I was getting confused

But where does Adam and the fruit come into it?

And what happened to the dead wasp, was it hovered up?

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:36:16

Adam brought the rainbow videos silly , come on keep up colin .

TragicallyHip Wed 11-May-11 21:37:09

Ooh yes Maybe Adam is actually George..

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:37:43

But who is Rod and Freddy ?

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:38:27

Yes, but who is he?

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:40:31

Rod and Freddy? As in Stewart & Mercury?

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 21:41:13

no you are not understandiung very well. adam sent rainbow videos to dh and i said dh was bungle and he got cross and went to see sharon. adam was confused. when he came back we argued about sharon and dh threw the glass at the wall. he refused to paint the wall and refused to take the wasp away. adam works on fruit and veg at tesco. sharon lives down the street and dh always goes to see her and stays in her house for ages and i get upset by that and he says im more of a bungle than he is. bagda says dh and sharon are having an affair but adam says not.

TragicallyHip Wed 11-May-11 21:42:08

Rod is Dh's mum and I predict Freddy will make an appearance very soon..

Adam is George and sends Dh the rainbow videos..

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:42:09

No colin as in Rod Jane and Freddy , dungaree clad singing types on rainbow .

ladywhiteadder Wed 11-May-11 21:42:43

Was the wasp Geoffrey?

who's bagda??

Hassled Wed 11-May-11 21:42:45

In my student days I shared a grim flat in Camberwell with a hippy stoner from Bristol who was obsessed with Jane from Rod, Jane and Freddy. He really really loved her. I think it was the brightly coloured dungarees.

Does that help?

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:42:54

Dare I even ask who the sodding hell bagda is ?

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:43:14

Right. Adam works at Tesco.
Thanks OP, every little helps.

TragicallyHip Wed 11-May-11 21:43:51

So Bagda is Freddie then..

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:44:42

So now we are just missing Rod ? Yes ?

Georgimama Wed 11-May-11 21:44:54

Okay, cover me people, I'm going in.....

Mario, a few questions:

Do you think your husband is shagging Sharon? And what are you going to do about it?
Why can't you remove the wasp yourself?

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:45:29

I don't remember Rod, Jane and Freddy. Only the Rainbow furry folk.

TragicallyHip Wed 11-May-11 21:45:53

No Rod is Dh's mum

CFAW Wed 11-May-11 21:45:57

* best troll ever!* grin

This must be what schizophrenia feels like.

mario91 Wed 11-May-11 21:46:03

i dont know if he is because he says there just friends because shes upset about things and he goes to be her friend but bagda says im being naive and he shouldnt be there all the time

IThinkTooMuch Wed 11-May-11 21:47:08

This has to join MN classics!

TragicallyHip Wed 11-May-11 21:47:42

I think Bagda Freddie might be right

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:48:56

I think bagda sounds like a good friend , can we call her Jane ?

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:48:57

What is Sharon upset about? Who is Bagda?

CheerfulYank Wed 11-May-11 21:49:15

Well if Bagda says so...

I mean, when is Bagda not spot on really.

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:50:21

Does Sharon have a Bungle DH or DP of her own?

CFAW Wed 11-May-11 21:50:22

But what about Tom the butcher? what are his thoughts on the subject of your dh's fidelity?

giyadas Wed 11-May-11 21:50:32

I never really liked rainbow.
<clings to familiar certainties>

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:50:48

Typical Bagda thinking the worst of people like Sharon .

AfternoonsandCoffeespoons Wed 11-May-11 21:51:02

I know I say this all the time but I agree with Bagda

hardcolin Wed 11-May-11 21:52:50

Well we've certainly moved on from wasps and wine.

I would talk to Sharon.

ClaireDeLoon Wed 11-May-11 21:53:11

Is this one of those bots? Computers trying to have a human conversation?

Hullygully Wed 11-May-11 21:53:16

Gppd pld Bagda.

Tho Shaz is way hotter.

DandyLioness Wed 11-May-11 21:53:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:53:58

I still have my money on Gabby .

travellingwilbury Wed 11-May-11 21:59:44

Good luck mario , I am now going to retire and probably dream of bloody Jeffrey and the gang now .

giyadas Wed 11-May-11 22:01:06

Gabby would have kicked off at our sustained display of ignorance by now. uSinG errAtic caPSs.

Georgimama Wed 11-May-11 22:01:29

My imaginary friend was Geoffrey from Rainbow.

ladywhiteadder Wed 11-May-11 22:02:24

Would a Mr Ben video diffuse the situation? I'd ask Bagda, she'll know.

"Right. Adam works at Tesco.
Thanks OP, every little helps."

I am fucking roaring at that. Thank you it's made my night.

Now I wonder if we all just snort a few lines of coke maybe the OP's posts would make sense then?

CheerfulYank Wed 11-May-11 22:05:18

I don't know who Gabby is, but sadly enough I am starting to follow all of this...

Shodan Wed 11-May-11 22:08:37


I suspect bagda has been spurned by Erasure-playing Sharon and is jealous of Dh's tete-a-tetes with his light o' love. He will say anything to upset the applecart, as it were. This is why Adam is confused, because he thought his applecart was secure.

The dh has only gone to see Sharon for one of two reasons- 1) to determine what colour a classy wall should be painted or 2) to discuss herrings and/or fish in general.

Rod Jane and Freddy have added a member to their group and are currently performing on some children's channel. Bungle and Zippy have admitted their long-term love affair and have eloped to Mexico.

Sunshineonacloudyday Wed 11-May-11 22:13:13

Hi OP reading through the threads I have never encountered so much drama if I were you I would pack dh bags and tell him to go and live with darling Sharon, then you can get on with decorating the house with out any interuptions. You deserve better.

MmeLindt Wed 11-May-11 22:14:42

Just posting to mark place so I can read this all at leisure tomorrow

Seriously, this is exactly like having a conversation with my brother or sister.

My mum threw a party once
wasn't at a wall or anything

and OP you haven't mentioned - did the wine go on the carpet at all? Or just on the wall? We need to know

UmBongo Wed 11-May-11 22:19:43

Just the wall apparently - mighty fine shot to miss the carpet completely, does this point to absorbent paint as no wine seems to have dribbled?

cant be arsed to read it all....

would anyone like to sumarise where we are?

and how the hell it didnt go on the carpet?

HecateQueenOfTheNight Wed 11-May-11 22:27:57
Triggles Wed 11-May-11 22:29:21

I'm still baffled at Bungle and Zippy. For some reason I was thinking Jungle Junction, but apparently not. So much for Disney Jr. Although perhaps we could call for some help from Toodles? grin

grin hecate!

i did think that but looked at the time of the op and thought maybe not!

do bungle and zippy also fancy sharon?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

giyadas Wed 11-May-11 22:34:44

but no mention was made what role, if any, the skirting boards played in saving the carpet.

or maybe a brightly patterned rug


Umm, triddles, I think you're slightly confused, it's PLAYHOUSE Disney and nick JR... Youre combining the two and I really think this thread doesn't need the hassle of trying to figure that out <stern look>

<waves to bagda>

fruitshootsandheaves Wed 11-May-11 22:38:25

Has bagda got anything to do with the sweaty badgers from last nights chocolate thread?
It sounds like it would be a good name for a badger