To not change my plans for SIL

[ElectricSoftParade]

Was called last night by SIL who asked me to look after her DD tomorrow so she could attend an exercise class. I asked what time from and to, as we have plans for today. She would drop off DD at 7.45am and wanted me to have her until 2pm. Unfortunately we are expected for lunch at a friends at 1pm so I said we could have her DD until 12.30, this was not good enough and she told me to shove it and hung up.

10 minutes go by and we receive a call from MIL to tell me how incredibly selfish I have been and she rues the day I joined her family.

So, was IBU to say I could only look after DN until 12.30 or should I have changed my plans?

[ginmakesitallok]

Tell MIL to have her then? YANBU - what exercise class lasts from 7.45 til 2??

[Onefunmum]

YANBU
That's got to be the longest exercise class I've ever heard of!
How rude of her and how dare your MIL interfere.
I think that would be the last time I agreed to help anyone so rude.

[ElectricSoftParade]

No, she has never looked after our DC and she has no special circs really. I don't feel I am being U but DH is now being a bit sniffy, saying we should have changed our plans to accommodate her. Bloody hell, cannot wait for the next family do!

[FreudianSlipOnACrown]

Ridiculous! YANBU

Is she always this entitled? And is your mil always this bitchy?

[ElectricSoftParade]

She is quite entitled but I suppose she would say the same about me, we aren't really very good friends but maintain a polite relationship usually. Ah, think I just wanted to vent so am going to get our gladrags on and enjoy our lovely lunch with our friends.

Although I have a feeling this will be mentioned for years

[TandB]

I would never agree to help her again with that attitude.

Y would NBU to tell your MIL that you rue the day you joined her family as well!

[squeakytoy]

you are not unreasonable, and your husband should be on the phone to his mother giving her what for as well for the way she spoke to you

[C4ro]

If DH thinks its reasonable maybe he can shelve his plans and make himself available from 745 through 2pm. How weird of SIL and MIL to get all cross about it- ignore them both but get to the bottom of why your DH thinks it's fine for your plans to get overturned but not theirs.

[Groovee]

I'd be telling MIL where to shove it. If anyone spoke to me like that I would not be amused. A class doesn't take 5/6 hours and it sounds like she had other plans but was hiding behind the exercise class and that her mother may well be involved in the plans hence why she's shouting at you.

[squeakytoy]

why couldnt the MIL do the childcare herself?

[atswimtwolengths]

She's not going to an exercise class! Or if she is, she's not just going there.

Why couldn't your MIL mind her own grandchild if she's so concerned about her daughter going out?

And what's up with your husband's spine, for god's sake? Why should you accommodate your SIL to that extent?

[MrsGravy]

You are so OBVIOUSLY not being unreasonable, it almost seems pointless me replying to point it out.

If your in-laws are always like this, your DH needs to do something about it.

[saffy85]

YANBU at all. And SIL and MIL are bloody cheeky and rude.

If your DH is being sniffy now can't he look after your neice while the rest of you go out to lunch? That way everyone wins. Sort of.

[HecateQueenOfTheNight]

Well, if someone said that to me, what they'd actually be saying is "I will never have any help or support from you ever again"

Because that's what they would have acheived!

You need your husband's support here. Why the HELL should you blow off your mates at the last minute because your SIL has demanded it? How rude. How rude to your friends. Either pitch up with another child or phone them at say you'll be late / won't be coming. No. It's ignorant.

If someone did that to her, she'd be pissed off, I bet!

Like I say, you need your husband on board. You have to sing from the same hymn sheet here or you will end up being the bitch in their eyes.

Your husband needs to call his mum and say "we were happy to have her all morning. But we have plans for the afternoon. If my sister chooses to hurl abuse at my wife because we won't drop everything for what she claims is a six hour exercise class, then she can go to hell. And as for you telling my wife you rue the day she joined the family - I will not have my wife spoken to like that and I expect apologies to her from both of you."


(the repeated 'my wife' is deliberate. It is A Message)

Oh, and your husband is being sniffy?

So he would happily phone your friends to cancel on them, would he?

[ENormaSnob]

Tell them both to get fucked.

If dh doesn't support you tell him to get fucked too.

Bastards.

[ElectricSoftParade]

VVV long chat with DH. He said sorry to me and has told both SIL and MIL they are being crackers. Somehow, I don't think we will be meeting up for a while...

Bugger them! Am going to have a grand day and not worry about it.

Thank you for your replies.

[cjel]

Glad DH is ok. Have a lovely day, don't let the B....... get you downxxxxxx

[thefirstmrsrochester]

With ENorma on this
What shocking behaviour from the inlaws

[minibmw2010]

What exercise class lasts so long you have to offload your child from 7.45am until 2pm ????? Either way, I don't see why your MIL couldn't do it. Glad your husband is backing you now.

[HecateQueenOfTheNight]

I bet she wanted to drop off her child, join up with friends, enjoy a light class then go for lunch with them.

I betcha!