Neighbours kids broken my fences confronted father today and he wont talk about it...RANT and advise needed too

(39 Posts)
Emmz0 Sun 17-Apr-11 02:22:50

For last 2 years i have been putting up with neighbours (one side )who think its okay to play football in the back garden with a heavy football to the point they have caused massive holes in our fence and bent them. To add to this, the father thinks its okay for them to give themselves permission to climb over fences and retrieve ball.

On several occasions I told the kids to stop climbing over our fences to retrieve ball as they were damaging them.Sometimes they did listen and rang our doorbell to ask for the ball. I told them i would rather have them ring our doorbell then climb over our fences. To add to this, father on many ocassions used to lift kids up to climb onto and over our fences.

I nicely tried to have words with him about our fences being damaged and he said he would pay for damages when the time came. I told him the point was not to damage them in the first place etc by climbing over fence kicking with a heavy football. note this is a newbuild house we are talking about so this is not the place to play football as you just manage to stretch your legs out in the tiny patch of garden. They managed to squash in a massive goalkeeper football net.

Anyway, once i saw the kids using a trampoline to jump over our fence and this time i had a word with mum being polite as i could telling them not to climb over fence and she said don't worry thats why we bought a trampoline so the kids could jump over the fence not to disturb you!!!!!!!!!! do these people think they own the street or something???? am i being unreasonable on this to expect neighbours not to trespass my property boundaries. she started getting angry over this like it was her property i tried to be calm and told her its not safe for a kid to use a trampoline to jump into my garden.

The final straw is today i saw the neighbour bringing in new fences. note, their side of fences, the ones they own are so damaged - they don't even need to climb over their neighbours fences to get ball they walk through!
I said to the neighbour: new fences hey, any for us? he said no. I said what about fences for us to replace the ones your kids have damaged. he said what they are 12 year old fences......this is what has really pissed me off. its his kids climbing over and hitting haeavy football that have caused the fences to be this way not the fact they are 12 years old.note i only have one kid just recently who is 2 months old so we are definately not damaging our own fences in anyway. so i said can we talk about this and he said no. I tried to talk again and he said he didnt want to talk any further. because i had to go somewhere else i didnt pursue this matter further but im really annoyed and upset when i know that this is down to his kids and him and his wife.

to add to this our house has two parking spaces at the front clearly labelled each one with our house number and grid painted so it can clearly be identified whose parking space is who. They have one parking space in front of the house and one round the corner. They keep allowing their guests, builders etc to park in one of our parking spaces without taking our permission. and i've even seen them direct anyone in our space, why cant they direct their guests into their free parking space few seconds round the corner? when i nicely asked the builder to remove his van from my parking space he said he would only be a couple of hours. i politely told him i understand but this is my parking space not my neighbours after which he moved it and both my neighbour and their builder looked at me funny as if i was in the wrong. she never even asked my permission- if she had maybe i would have said no problem.

Please let me know if im being unreasonable on any of this and why?

And advice about what to do about fences matter? Do i try and speak to them further, what to say do etc.

AgentZigzag Sun 17-Apr-11 02:37:38

Fucking cheeky fuckers, who do they think they are??

shock and angry on your behalf.

I suppose if you've already tried talking to them and hit a blank wall the next step would be looking in to forcing them to take responsibility.

But whether you think that might sour things further and not achieve much, and what you'd have to do exactly to force them, I'm not sure.

It's the trampoline that gets me, did they sit around discussing how to resolve the 'ball going over the fence' problem and that's what they came up with??

It's novel if nothing else.

TheSkiingGardener Sun 17-Apr-11 02:42:47

They are bonkers.

With the parking, if it is your space you can use a parking control company. Bit extreme but there you go! I would send them a letter stating that their continued behaviour in allowing their children to damage your fences has now damaged them to the point that they need replacement and you will expect them to replace them within X weeks.

They clearly have no respect for your boundaries or property.

Parietal Sun 17-Apr-11 02:47:01


You local council may have a neighbours mediation service to resolve disputes between neighbours. Might be worth a try?

sunnydelight Sun 17-Apr-11 07:24:36

The sensible part of me says you need mediation to try and sort this out without it becoming a full scale war, the bad part of me would want to build a brick wall and top it with spikes!

ZillionChocolate Sun 17-Apr-11 08:18:52

I'd be tempted to get a quote for replacing your damaged fence and send it to them with a covering letter saying you expect them to pay to replace the fence. Mediation is probably the better way to deal with the issue though if it's available.

You ARE in the right, don't feel embarassed to be more assertive.

RJRabbit Sun 17-Apr-11 08:38:29

Plant leilandii grin

davidtennantsmistress Sun 17-Apr-11 08:45:40

I don't know much about property things but he will prob be thinking it's not 'his' fence he doesn't have to pay - morally thou he damn well should.

also, when the kids get to your garden - is this not classed as trespassing anymore and therefore a police matter?

other than that i'd say the same mediation and or do the fence & go to small claims possibly to recover the funds?

kitbit Sun 17-Apr-11 08:54:37

Get those lockable posts to close your parking spaces and build high fences with trellises without removing the original ones. The crappy ones will stay on their side. Make them high trellises so they keep balls out and are too flimsy to climb.

Or move

davidtennantsmistress Sun 17-Apr-11 08:59:44

kit then they'd take the crappy one's down and gain extra space in their garden from the OP's boundaries - (was having this discussion with my DB/dad last week - bu all accounts as well any new fence has to go at least 3-4 inches inside the new fence so it's no directly on the old fence)

Icelollycraving Sun 17-Apr-11 09:00:27

Put some whacking great trees in & say as they had been unreasonable,you would return the ball when u have time & under no circumstances are the children to enter yr garden. Do you have a dog?
Also can put something on yr parking saying for the exclusive use of no 25 or whatever & each time you see someone parked there,knock on the door & tell them to shift.
If they give you any verbal say ' I tried to be reasonable if you think back'
Good luck!

sloggies Sun 17-Apr-11 09:16:30

Lleylandii trees (sp) grow really fast....
Re the parking, Kitbit might have meant this, I was thinking one of thos bollard post things that you lock into a sticking up position, then unlock to go down when you want to park there yourself. HTH.

knockinonyerdoor Sun 17-Apr-11 09:19:38

Plant climbing roses along your fence? If your LO is only 2 months old, you have the whole of this summer for the roses to grow up the fence before he/she tries to eat them can get to them. You can snap the lower thorns off a rose bush without hurting the plant. A nice thorny layer along the top of the fence is a nice deterrent. grin

Jemma1111 Sun 17-Apr-11 09:19:44

If my neighbours were pissing me off like this then I would return the favour!

As others have said, I too would put up trees, and regarding the parking space situation I would do exactly the same to them and get anyone I wanted to park in THEIR space, I believe your neighbour's will soon get the message!

FabbyChic Sun 17-Apr-11 09:33:38

YOu can take your neighbour to court for the damaged fences, you can use moneyclaimonline. Maybe then they will take you seriously.

You allowed them to cause damage for 12 years and just let it go?

Id have asked the police to have a word surely it is classed as criminal damage?

southmum Sun 17-Apr-11 09:47:40

put vandal grease along the top of the fence

beanlet Sun 17-Apr-11 10:07:21

Thorny climbing plants - brilliant. Or a hawthorne.

FirstVix Sun 17-Apr-11 10:34:47

Pyracantha - that stuff is lethal and quick growing but easy to manage lower down.

Bathsheba Sun 17-Apr-11 10:51:19

Write them a formal letter, keeping a copy, saying that their children must not climb into your garden, or jump into your garden.

Keep a diary

If it continues after you have formally asked them, then you can go to the council and advise them that you have taken all reasonable steps to approach the situation nicely, what can they advise is the next step you can take.

Get a quote for a VERY STURY fence, even if it is just on the side of your garden that you share with them rather than all the way round and include that with the letter.

firsttimemum77 Sun 17-Apr-11 10:59:21

Not read the other posts so sorry if it has already been suggested.
I would put up a brick wall with whatever is legal nowadays on top (my grans neighbour used to have shards of glass!!! Don't know if that was ever legal!!! But when I contacted the local council to ask, I was told it was fine to do as long as the wall was 6 foot plus). Or you could put that yucky tar stuff on top of the fences so when the kids climb over their hands and clothes get ruined!

YANBU I'd be livid if my neighbours tried to take the piss like that! Cheeky buggers!

TheMonster Sun 17-Apr-11 10:59:25

What a horrible situation. I think the parking poles are a great idea.
What about that willow or bamboo fencing? YOu could get really high stuff and attach it to your side of the fence. It's too flimsy to climb.

TheMonster Sun 17-Apr-11 11:00:16

I think the glass might be illegal, firsttime, but you can get spiky stuff that is designed to keep cats out.

SecretNutellaFix Sun 17-Apr-11 11:13:39

anti-climb paint. The local building constructors use it to stop vandals from entering the building sitesgrin

emptyshell Sun 17-Apr-11 11:18:38

I can lend you a dog that destroys all spherical objects within 10 seconds (5 if they squeak)?!

After an entire weekend of BANG BANG BANG THUNK BANG BANG BANG THUNK... CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK... you have my sympathies.

treas Sun 17-Apr-11 11:20:59

Pyracantha, Berberis, Gorse, Mahonia, Holly, Climbing and Rambling Roses all attractive but thorny.

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