Nephew and nieces birthdays

[Bluebell99]

So it was my nephews birthday almost three weeks ago, he was fourteen, and I texted and tried to ring my sister to say I would sent a chequeand then I sent two cards and a cheque. I heard nothing back. No thanks, nada. So today it is my nieces birthday, she is 16. Should I send a cheque for her? I just checked my account and the cheque was cashed. It was my birthday in March, I recieved nothing, no card and not even a text. My sister rarely sends a card for my children. Although she is on a low income, so wouldn't really expect anything. But would it really hurt to just send a text acknowleging the cards and cheque I sent?!!! Am wondering if she actually received it?! So have texted her today saying I plan to send a cheque but wanted to check if the other arrived safely. I will probably get a call in a minute from my mother asking if I have remembered my nieces birthday!

[worraliberty]

It's not your niece's fault her brother has no manners surely?

[Bluebell99]

No, you are right. It is more my sister that I am annoyed at, tbh.

[ENormaSnob]

I would send your neice the card and cheque but then wouldn't bother at all next year.

[SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets]

You should snd the card and put a tenner in it. Rude people.

[BikeRunSki]

I sent my nephew a not-cheap and very thoughtful 18th birthday present last year, having checked that it was OK with DBro (it involved a penknife). A month later I had not heard anything so rang DBro to check that it has arrived. He was furious that DNephew had not acknowldged it. Got a very apologetic phone call from DNephew a few minutes later. I have given him the benefit of the doubt of being a rubbish teenage boy....

[borderslass]

I have this with my brothers girls their 11 and 13 i've only ever had a thankyou off them when SIL is with them DM wanted to say something but she always puts her well meaning foot in it and causes him to stop speaking.

[Bluebell99]

Now I am wondering if I should send an even bigger cheque given it's her sixteenth?!

[crystalglasses]

I have recently stopped sending birthday cards and gifts (and Christmas gifts) to my sister and her children because she and they never thank me and never send cards or gifts to me or my children.

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

Bugger your sister, at 16 the 'children' are old enough to thank you themselves.

[petitfromage]

I used to send presents to all my exh's nieces and nephews - 10 in all, they all lived throughout uk so I had to post them parcels for each birthday and christmas. Not a single thank you card from one of them. Then I got pg with my first and exh left me..!

Since then I for obvious reasons haven't sent presents to any of them and surprise surprise exh doesn't even acknowledge their birthdays or christmas. They have sent my ds the odd present (tends to be one random present from one family each year, not sure if they organise it to be that way as I get no other contact from them) but I send a thank you card and a recent photo of ds.

No excuses for rudeness, YANBU but I wouldn't drop to their level. Do what you feel is right and then sleep well knowing that even if they are not well brought up kids at least yours are. A reminder text to ask if they have got the cheque and if so what did they spend it on might be a good prompt - my mum always made us say in thank you cards what we spent money on if we got sent it.

[squeakytoy]

I would send her a cheque this year, then forget it from now on, they sound like ungrateful spoilt brats to be honest.

[givemeaclue]

YANBU, I know how you feel. I send my nieces birthday and christmas gifts, cards and other things e.g for easter or passing their exams. I never get acknowledgement of any kind. In fact on my niece's last birthday my sister did not even bother to pick up the parcel from the post office, it was returned to me by royal mail!

she never sends me or my dcs a card or present ever.

but its not my nieces fault their mother is ungrateful and thoughtless.

[1Catherine1]

I would send the niece something as teenage boys can be very forgetful, it is hardly fair to give to one and not the other.. I know I have on occasion forgot to thank my gran when she has given me money for my birthday (she puts it straight into my bank account so sometimes I don't notice) but I always appreciate it.

i think though you should make it the last year you do it as some people just feel birthdays are more important than others and read more into it. To my family birthdays are important but to my OH's family they're not and they just don't bother with them at all which I find odd given how important they are in my family. My OHs parents recently visited and their return flight was on his birthday, yet he didn't get a card or anything and he couldn't have been less bothered by that.

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

It is always better to give than to receive8

[millimurphy]

Not sure why teenage boys are any more forgetful than teenage girls?