About a mother bringing a playpen in the pool change room?

[GotArt]

A mother comes weekly with her 10 month old, (I know this because she's always talking loudly to the her DD about how amazed she is by her being 10 months old, I heard it when she was 9 months and I reckon we'll all know when she turns 11 months, but anyhow) bringing with her a playpen that she sets up which does nothing but creates havoc as you can barely make it around this damn thing. Its 4x5 feet. The family change room is also the disability facilities and right now is very busy as well due to renovations of the change rooms, so is only for women, so lots more traffic. The woman also has a large stroller which she straps the car seat into and brings all this into the change room. She puts the stroller in front of a set of lockers, opens up the playpen, takes her DD out of the car seat/stroller and plops her in the playpen long enough to take her swimming gear out of her bag and a blanket, picks up her DD, and heads into the change stall, all this space within a step of each other. She changes, changes her DD and comes out, plops DD back in playpen, sorts out a locker, picks up DD to put back in stroller, folds up playpen and heads out to the pool. She completely spreads out over a whole 6 foot long bench and got pissy with me today because I asked if she wouldn't mind making some room for my DD to sit on the bench. A big huff and slamming around of her stuff. I quite honestly asked nicely too. When its time to get out, she does the same routine, although the playpen is set up longer as she is showering and such in the stall. The stall is by far large enough to wheel in the stroller, but she leaves it in front of the lockers and gets pissy with anyone, even staff, when it gets moved so people can get to their lockers, rightfully. Today, there was 3 disabled people and their carers there and you couldn't get their chairs around this damn thing. I'm familiar with one of the carers as we go swimming weekly, at the same time they do, (the woman in question I see on Mondays, but she came this Friday) and she asked "who's the heck is this?" I pointed to the stall and said "she's in there. She brings it every time. A bit extreme, IMO." She agreed, we chuckled and exchanged faces. I moved the playpen so she could get by and put the playpen back. Aside from the irritating things she says to her DD that make me cringe, like when she starts fussing, "Oh, little dudette, chillax." [grrr], AIBU to think that she should have some common decency to see how she is inconveniencing people. How can someone be that thick to not notice? DH thinks I should complain to staff, but really, it just annoys me more than anything, but should I complain on the behalf of others in this.

[belledechocchipcookie]

Please put some paragraphs in next time.

My local pool has it's own playpens in the changing rooms. If it annoys you then go at a different time/day. She's doing her best, even if it is annoying.

[GotArt]

Sorry... was typing like a mad woman. {grin]

[KatieMiddleton]

I was going to come and post what a good idea but if it's getting in the way and the dc is only 10mo that sounds a bit selfish. YANBU.

[GotArt]

Unfortunately, we can't. Like I said though, she just annoys me, I have a bit of laugh at her to myself and how extreme she is with all this stuff but I see how this affects others maneuvering around an already cramped space. It is all so unnecessary. I want to tell her she is really just making more work for herself. She puts on a big floppy felt hat the shape of a watermelon on her child's head to go into the pool.

[belledechocchipcookie]

What you could do is tell the staff and suggest that they have one which is out of the way and accessible for all parents.

[Underachieving]

FGS! YANBU

Any muppet can hide behind their. But can you do it all when there's a motorway pile up, your car is jammed in the queue for the night, and you've got nothing but your change bag and a repertoire of nursery rhymes to occupy the little one? Now there's the test of a real Mummy!

[Underachieving]

*behind thier kit.

[GotArt]

Beers I agree, and usually I do let it lie, but today, watching the carers deal with it and some elderly ladies that couldn't get by with their walkers, I got a little pissed about how someone could just be so blatantly oblivious to how they are affecting others. The mother just gets pissy with people when they touch her stuff, but the fact is, she is very much in the way.

[TheSkiingGardener]

I agree with you, she is being very selfish. I would mention to the staff that it is causing inconvenience and is possibly a hazard if you had to evacuate for any reason.

Can't stand this kind of blinkered selfish behaviour. If there was lots of room it would be fine but there isn't if she is having to block lockers and wheelchairs can't get past.

[AgentZigzag]

She might be a bit unreasonable I suppose for taking up too much room, but wow at the amount of feeling you've got for her.

All that judging in one OP.

Could some of the banging/loud talking/using pet names be coloured through your annoyance at the getting her play pen out?

If you took out all the emotion of your post it just sounds like a mum trying her best to get out and take her children swimming.

Perhaps she feels she can't cope without 'controlling' her DC in the play pen and couldn't go swimming unless she had it?

[MsScarlettInTheLibrary]

Don't most swimming pools have play pens? I took DD as a baby to 8-9 different pools with regularity and have never seen a pool without one.

Of course most of the time she couldn't go in it due to there being a boisterous toddler in it (no judging, all fine, just boisterous toddler plus crawling baby in confined space difficult to manage, and by the time she was a toddler she was mostly happy to just sit and snack etc after the pool and didn't need the pen)

[cestlavielife]

ask the centre to provide a small size playpen - many do

[petisa]

wow that must take her a long time. and how does she manage to carry it all?

i'd love a playpen at our pool

[thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter]

She brings her own! And I thought I travelled like Hannibal's elephants!

Personally would find putting it up/dismantling it more bother than just managing without one - also would think it would get mouldy/mildewy from getting wet all the time?

[lesley33]

YANBU she sounds very selfish. I hate it when people don't consider others. Mention it to the staff next time you are at the pool.

[GotArt]

Our change rooms don't have them, likely because of the shape of the space doesn't really accommodate something like that. They are renovating though and the family change room will be overhauled so hopefully someone put in a suggestion for them because small ones would be a great idea.

Agent I don't by any means make it evident that I find her over the top parenting annoying. I know of two other mothers that are familiar with her in other public settings that feel the same way. Today was the first time I've actually spoken to her, and when I said, "would you mind if I moved your bag to give DD some room to sit on the bench?" she went from cheerful, happy mommy to seething, stropy mommy. It was night and day.

Petisa I've been in the gym on the treadmill and seen her come in. She places the playpen lengthwise across the stroller and her DD and shoves a big bag in the bottom and puts a backpack on too. It is so much stuff for an hour a the pool. The amount of stuff blows me away.

thatwouldbe I would think so too. She not only folds it up after to cart it out to the pool, but puts it back into the original box it was bought in.

[Triggles]

I can see why she would bring the pushchair/stroller into the changing room, but the playpen seems overkill. She could easily leave the baby for a minute in the pushchair while she is changing and such - as long as it's near her/in sight. That's what I'd do if necessary. I can't imagine the hassle of lugging in a playpen along with baby, pushchair, and gear.

[GotArt]

The stalls are so large that I've wheeled in my chariot, had a shower and got changed the whole time DD was in the car seat on the stroller. Her playpen wouldn't fit in the stall but her stroller would but she puts her DD on the wet floor on a blanket when she goes into the stall to shower and change.

Its no wonder she is cranky underneath her pleasant demeanor as she is creating so much more work for herself and I think has probably experienced people making comments because of the way I've seen her react to people moving her stroller out of the way to get at their lockers.

Unless I had walked to the pool, I wouldn't bother with the stroller as DD was already in the car seat. I'd unhook the car seat and carry it on one arm and our change bag on the other for the 30 second walk to the change room from parking lot.

[hairfullofsnakes]

She sounds like a real idiot. Complain!

[Sirzy]

The logistics of getting changed for swimming are part of the reason I rarely go swimming!

But this woman seems to be making it much more complex than it needs to be! Putting the baby in the pram while she gets changed makes much more sense.

[FreudianSlippery]

YANBU to be annoyed, that is just a ridiculous thing to do. I don't see why she doesn't keep baby in the buggy for a bit longer. Yes it's difficult to juggle everything but that's just part of going swimming with a baby!

YABU not to complain though - something annoys you, so DO something about it. Maybe they will put a sign up for you.

:o

[purplepidjin]

YANBU - maneuvring someone in a wheel chair who istwice your not inconsiderable size is REALLY hard. Next time you struggle with the buggy onto a bus/train, have a think what it would be like to still be pushing it when the dc is 40-odd.

I can see that the woman is loud and obnoxious, this particular issue makes people's lives that bit harder. And how many of us have been asked to move the buggy in a cafe because it blocks a fire escape?

[purplepidjin]

Oops, strike out fail!